For those who cannot do more than one thing at a time, but succeeded in driving

[Suzanne]

Today, I did it! I was driving. Petrified, I must say and cried. Chap drove me around the car park so I could watch him and then, something showing on my face, prompted him to ask if I preferred my husband next to me and I smiled and said that I would, much to hubby's horror but really, for an experienced driver, who had just put up 2,000 euros, in case of damage to car, and not a driving instructor, he did really well. Just shouted a few times, for me to slow down, get in the middle and use my indicators, but he was quick to commend me too.

I was a mess and honestly nearly gave up. How can I look out of 3 mirrors, regulate the excellerater, keep an eye on hazards, all in one go? Hubby says that I have to make one action like second nature, which I do agree. But wow talk about scary, when other drivers are indicating or not.

We got the money back and thus, I did not crash and even, surprised hubby when we came upon an issue ie roadworks and I saw immediately, the arrow and easily drove around and that rather I pressed him but I ruined it, on coming back and tried to go around the roundabout and in the end, we swapped places so he could get us out.

I want to give up, I shall not deny that, but I see that I need more practise and thus, going to phone an instructor and hope he speaks English and have some lessons.

It was awful because I kept forgetting to look out of the windows, because of concentrating on the speed, or looking out of windows and forgetting my speed. And so forth.

So, how did my aspie friends fair who can't multi task? Is there hope for me?

One great thing was me concentrating or concerned so much, that I did not care or bothered when I upset other drivers or saw people looking at me. When danger is so close, having people stare, really didn't bother me.

I am going to practise with pen and paper, how to get the car models moving. Did achieve it, but very jerky.

 

[Progster]

Well done! Don't be discouraged by your mistakes - you did very well!

I can't multitask either, but I learnt to drive, and I can drive well. It may take a while, don't expect to be able to do everything immediately, it takes practice. When you are first learning, all of your actions need a conscious decision, and a lot of concentration. After a while, as new neural pathways are forged in your brain, these movements, such as reaching for the gear stick and knowing what to do to change gear will become automatic. You will know automatically where to find the gear stick, the brake pedal, etc. You will no longer have to think about doing these things and that will enable you to concentrate on what's going on around you rather than the operation of the car, and you will begin to enjoy driving. Take it in small steps, a little at a time. Become comfortable with one thing before moving on to the next. Go on the quiet roads first, and then, when you are confident, start going into busier areas. Don't let other drivers intimidate you; you have just as much right to be there as they have. Don't give up on it, be patient, and good luck!

Edited - I was worried that I was coming across as condescending, when I don't mean to be!

 

[Greg]

Driving was challenging at first but I have gotten used to it and drive all the time. However when I drive it is like many other things where I like to super focus on what I am doing. It is like when I am doing something and someone is trying to talk to me I can't do more than one thing at a time.

 

[Suzanne]

Driving was challenging at first but I have gotten used to it and drive all the time. However when I drive it is like many other things where I like to super focus on what I am doing. It is like when I am doing something and someone is trying to talk to me I can't do more than one thing at a time.

Thanks for your imput; Greg. I wonder, did you flounder when you arrived at a round about and saw another car indicating, but forgot what to do ie slow down? This is what happened today! My poor husband screamed at me to stop and although I freaked I did stop.

Oh yes, when my husband was talking to me, I had to seriously focus and kept saying to myself: be aware etc etc.

I found also that the car seemed to take up all one side of the road, but thankfully, when hubby said: Suzanne, look at your mirror, you can see the distance between the and pavement and wow did that help lol oh and no matter how many times he was saying: indicator down is left, indicator up is right; I just could not retain that and then I said: how do you know which indicator I am using? Oh silly brainless me! He goes: I take it you have not been watching your dashboard and I am like? What? With 3 mirrors, maintaining a low speed; watching out for things and I am expected to remember to peer at the dashboard? Well I did and could not believe how EASY it was lol and from that point, I had no issue with the right indication. He also said that you should be able to look at each mirror without barely moving your head and again, so right ( of course, I know he was, since he is a driver lol).

Happily, he took over for a while and admitted that it was not my fault that the car was jerky, because he experienced the same thing!

I have a big problem with speed and he had to keep telling me to slow down.

I sincerely hope that this instructor speaks English.

What is really lovely though, is that my husband saw quite clearly that I would not be able to follow him for the whole day and we got to hire it for just 3 hrs, with a reduced cost.

 

[Grace13]

Today, I did it! I was driving. Petrified, I must say and cried. Chap drove me around the car park so I could watch him and then, something showing on my face, prompted him to ask if I preferred my husband next to me and I smiled and said that I would, much to hubby's horror but really, for an experienced driver, who had just put up 2,000 euros, in case of damage to car, and not a driving instructor, he did really well. Just shouted a few times, for me to slow down, get in the middle and use my indicators, but he was quick to commend me too.

I was a mess and honestly nearly gave up. How can I look out of 3 mirrors, regulate the excellerater, keep an eye on hazards, all in one go? Hubby says that I have to make one action like second nature, which I do agree. But wow talk about scary, when other drivers are indicating or not.

We got the money back and thus, I did not crash and even, surprised hubby when we came upon an issue ie roadworks and I saw immediately, the arrow and easily drove around and that rather I pressed him but I ruined it, on coming back and tried to go around the roundabout and in the end, we swapped places so he could get us out.

I want to give up, I shall not deny that, but I see that I need more practise and thus, going to phone an instructor and hope he speaks English and have some lessons.

It was awful because I kept forgetting to look out of the windows, because of concentrating on the speed, or looking out of windows and forgetting my speed. And so forth.

So, how did my aspie friends fair who can't multi task? Is there hope for me?

One great thing was me concentrating or concerned so much, that I did not care or bothered when I upset other drivers or saw people looking at me. When danger is so close, having people stare, really didn't bother me.

I am going to practise with pen and paper, how to get the car models moving. Did achieve it, but very jerky.

Cool! i wanna drive car to one day <

 

[EdR]

Suzanne, it just occurred to me that you should consider driving a golf cart as a first step. I did that as a young teen caddy and while I am unable to attest that it facilitated driving an auto, it did provide driving exposure.

A golf cart drives similar to a car, which will enable you to develop a sense of acceleration, braking, steering, avoiding objects and maneuvering. Admittedly, the driving experience is only a fraction of that of driving a car with traffic, but it does have the counterbalancing benefit of having virtually zero serious risk.

Just a thought.

 

[Spiller]

Hey Suzanne, well done for getting there, a little practice and experience and you'll be a confident and good driver in no time, just believe in yourself.
One of the big mistakes I see is people forgetting what they've been taught and speeding, cutting corners, tail-gating.. just doing stuff that increases the chances of an accident and shattering self-confidence.
For some reason, in my experience, women often tend to be very nervous when they first get out on the roads, especially when they're alone in the car - I hope your hubby is always calm when he's with you as shouting only makes you worse! Just drive slowly around - you don't have to always go at the speed limit, even if the person behind wants you to go faster.. I rarely drive at the speed limit, usually a few mph slower and that helps me to be calmer, more patient and enjoy the drive - saves fuel too. Driving isn't just about getting from A to B quickly, put some music on and take in the scenery, enjoy the experience.
When I was learning I used to sit in the car by myself and go on imaginary journeys using the car as a prop, getting all the movements down to a habitual level, same with my bike. Keep doing reverse and parallel parking too as that'll give you confidence, or you'll forget how to!
Do you have green 'P' plates in France? they're optional still in the UK, but some people find it's better not to use them as impatient drivers don't tend to respect that you're inexperienced - try with and without them..
Also, if you're extra nervous on your own, I've been told that putting a large teddy bear in the passenger seat can help to make you feel that someone's sitting there..
Good luck and remember to enjoy!

 

[Judge]

Successfully operating a motor vehicle isn't an instinct. It's a skill one developes requiring practice and time.

You get better as you go along.

It's no secret that in the US, inexperienced operators carry a specific surcharge on their insurance for about three years. Hang in there, Suzanne. Everyone on the road might make it appear easy, but rest assured, it's not.

You're not alone...and in fact pretty much like everyone else- at first.

 

[Suzanne]

Suzanne, it just occurred to me that you should consider driving a golf cart as a first step. I did that as a young teen caddy and while I am unable to attest that it facilitated driving an auto, it did provide driving exposure.

A golf cart drives similar to a car, which will enable you to develop a sense of acceleration, braking, steering, avoiding objects and maneuvering. Admittedly, the driving experience is only a fraction of that of driving a car with traffic, but it does have the counterbalancing benefit of having virtually zero serious risk.

Just a thought.

That is an excellent idea, but for one snag; we don't play golf lol well I could but my husband is just not into things like that and not being a driver, does rather stunt me. I did, however, practice on his ride on lawnmower, and that actually did help when I got into the car.

 

[Suzanne]

Hey Suzanne, well done for getting there, a little practice and experience and you'll be a confident and good driver in no time, just believe in yourself.
One of the big mistakes I see is people forgetting what they've been taught and speeding, cutting corners, tail-gating.. just doing stuff that increases the chances of an accident and shattering self-confidence.
For some reason, in my experience, women often tend to be very nervous when they first get out on the roads, especially when they're alone in the car - I hope your hubby is always calm when he's with you as shouting only makes you worse! Just drive slowly around - you don't have to always go at the speed limit, even if the person behind wants you to go faster.. I rarely drive at the speed limit, usually a few mph slower and that helps me to be calmer, more patient and enjoy the drive - saves fuel too. Driving isn't just about getting from A to B quickly, put some music on and take in the scenery, enjoy the experience.
When I was learning I used to sit in the car by myself and go on imaginary journeys using the car as a prop, getting all the movements down to a habitual level, same with my bike. Keep doing reverse and parallel parking too as that'll give you confidence, or you'll forget how to!
Do you have green 'P' plates in France? they're optional still in the UK, but some people find it's better not to use them as impatient drivers don't tend to respect that you're inexperienced - try with and without them..
Also, if you're extra nervous on your own, I've been told that putting a large teddy bear in the passenger seat can help to make you feel that someone's sitting there..
Good luck and remember to enjoy!

My hubby was as calm as a man can be, when he has just written out a cheque for 2,000 euros in case of damage lol yes, he did bewilder me, I confess, but to be fair to him, he is not an instructor and I guess cannot comprehend that what is easy to him, is not for me. Unfortunately, I was going at about 10ks per hour and he kept demanding I slow down and said that even though I was not going fast, it felt like it to me and could not understand why I was speeding up, when going around the roundabout. At first, I thought: I can't do this! But after crying with disappointment, and a hug from hubby, I did it again and it did get a bit easier. I am actually raring to get back into the car. Oh and am I thrilled that it is automatic!!!!

For a car without license, one does not need an P plate. In fact, here in France, say if you got drunk and then drove and then lost your license, you can go straight to the: voiture sans permis and either hire a car or buy one and thus, you can still drive.

Oh I was beeped once, but hahaha didn't give fig; no embarrassment at all and my husband kindly informed me that drivers were looking at me angrily and I just thought: so what? I want to be a safe driver and thus, they have to get used to it. I thought that because the kind of car that I would be driving, has a speed max of 40ks and it is obvious it is a special car, that the French would be accommodating and apparently and I saw for myself, that they are the opposite and in actual fact, one did not even indicate until the last moment!!!

 

[EdR]

That is an excellent idea, but for one snag; we don't play golf lol

You don't have to actually play golf to rent a golf cart.

There are several firms around me that rent and deliver golf carts to one's home. Elderly people use them, a fair number of businesses, either large or those involved with outdoor work, get carts through rentals.

 

[ChrisC1983]

driving is tough.. neither of my parents drive (never had their licenses or money for a car.. dad wants to though) so i wasn't even used to being in a car often as a kid. i did try for my license and could have gotten it but the cop made me nervous (we need to take the driving test with a cop in the car) so i didnt get my license until about 28. i drive just fine.. it's the people around me that are a bother. i can't handle all the variables of their driving (i live near boston.. there are a LOT of bad drivers and impatient ones and angry ones...)

as far as the act of driving... i try to forget i have mirrors until i need to make a turn or switch lanes. when a car is near me i try to match their speed and stay the same distance away (after making sure they're going the correct speed) so that way i can ignore the speedometer.... if i already know the route i can listen to music to relax me. but if i dont or i hit a detour i need to turn the music off and deal with the panic attack of being lost (aka: having to turn 20 feet out of the route i know lol).......... i don't have a car anymore though. as much as i would like to, i tell my father because i couldn't afford mine (which isn't a lie...... but obviously not the whole truth. driving around people scares the hell out of me)

not sure if that would help at all.. but it's a way to get a little of your attention back to the actual driving. i had a large Jeep where the pedal had a decent amount of resistance so the weight of my foot didn't shoot me to 20mph... i tried some other smaller cars but the pedals were too touchy for me to keep good control of the speed

 

[wyverary]

To me, roundabouts are still scary and I still to this day cannot parallel park. You'll get it, trust me.

 

[Judge]

To me, roundabouts are still scary and I still to this day cannot parallel park. You'll get it, trust me.

LOL. I do roundabouts every day. Hard to avoid them coming home. Gets a little tricky if two or more cars are entering at the same time though.

Parallel parking* ? Piece of cake.

(* If I was Pinnochio right now my nose would have just left the solar system.)

Hey Wyv...what about those cars that are supposed to do it by themselves? That intrigues me. A little...not a lot!

 

[wyverary]

Hey Wyv...what about those cars that are supposed to do it by themselves? That intrigues me. A little...not a lot!

I desperately want one and I'm tempted to start a Kickstarter to get me one of them. I'm tired of having to pay five bucks for venue parking when I could easily park a few blocks away for free!

 

[Judge]

I desperately want one and I'm tempted to start a Kickstarter to get me one of them. I'm tired of having to pay five bucks for venue parking when I could easily park a few blocks away for free!

I just have one rule about parallel parking:

Don't even go there.

 

[Tia Maria]

Way to go Suzanne! I was happy & excited for you when I saw this update! How are you feeling afterwards? I'm wondering if you felt good later, after it's all over ... for having expanded your boundaries & done something which took so much effort & courage? I think you should be so proud of yourself! I agree with all the other comments that driving is not easy, but like any difficult skill you will improve with practice. And there is nothing wrong with having your passenger be quiet - except for communicating real time driving tips - so as not to create further distractions.

Anyway, BRAVO!!!! This deserves a virtual celebration!

 

[Tia Maria]

Did you see this? Uber looking to develop more driverless cars .....


Carnegie Mellon reels after Uber lures away researchers
Carnegie Mellon Reels After Uber Lures Away Researchers - WSJ

 

[AsheSkyler]

Routine and timing. Stare ahead for so many seconds. If nothing requires your attention, quick glance to the mirrors. Watch the road a bit more, check the speed. And repeat. Once you get used to the feel of the car at different speeds and the pressure on your foot, speed becomes almost automated. One reason why I haven't changed cars in about six years.

 

[Datura]

I am also learning to drive. It is true what others have said; the more time you spend behind the wheel the more automatic the skills become. My first few times driving were overwhelming. There were just too many dynamic variables. Once I had to pull over just to cry. At this point I would say I am fairly good on the road, but a menace in the parking lot. I would practice more, but I am kind of messed up right now and don't think it would be a good idea.