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Fight, Flight or Freeze?

My first reaction is flight to get away from the stress but if I can't get away I will go in to full blown fight mode!
A good example is one night I was working at Home Depot having a stressful day then I was told I could not have a break
and had to work 3 more hours without one. I was already at the meltdown point so I shoved the register clean off the counter
broke open the doors slamming them hard in to the wall while walking out.
 
Sportster said:
Well, it's nice to see that I'm not the only one that unspools like that. During my short-lived career at a Lincoln-Mercury dealership, I had a meltdown that resulted in my throwing the service writers podium across the shop. Everyone was so shocked that no one bothered to address the problem or stop me.
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That's why I try so hard to walk away from the stress first knowing I will react that way. I always sense it just before hand like early warning radar!
 
If i'm at work and something has upset me, like a particularly rude customer, or if its near the end of the day and i'm just at my wit's end, i just shut down. I'll go through the motions and do my job, but i wont talk at all. It looks really bad but at that point i just can't do anything more than function. I dislike confrontation of any sort, so my default tends to be to either avoid it to begin with or get away from it as soon as possible. If someone says something that's meant in humor, or something of the sort, and i dont get it i just freeze up and awkwardly stand there waiting for them to realize i dont get it and am not about to reply. So its a mix, i guess.
 
I do this thing where I freeze and can't speak. It's really fun. :unamused:

Edit: I think opossums do this, too? Yeah. .-. eh
 
I have to say flight is always my preference. But some people, don't understand why I withdraw, and push the envelope. Those who chase me down, see fight. It takes a lot to get me there, but when it comes, it's ruthless. My discomfort associated with flight is very obvious, so they are either insensitive, or thinking I'm a soft target. Unfortunately when fight kicks in, I'm just a passenger.
 
About half of the time (more than half of the time if I've gotten enough sleep and am feeling slick that day), I have something witty and good to say, the other half, I stammer like an idiot. I was never sure whether this was just a social anxiety thing, an aspie thing, or both. Maybe it's more of an aspie thing than I once thought. When I freeze though, I feel really bad about myself because the interaction just goes really weird, and I feel like a freak.
 
atrocityexhibition said:
About half of the time (more than half of the time if I've gotten enough sleep and am feeling slick that day), I have something witty and good to say, the other half, I stammer like an idiot. I was never sure whether this was just a social anxiety thing, an aspie thing, or both. Maybe it's more of an aspie thing than I once thought. When I freeze though, I feel really bad about myself because the interaction just goes really weird, and I feel like a freak.
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I know how you feel but a good way around it is to stop, laugh at yourself, take a deep breath and start again. It happens when I try and say everything all at once lol. One thing I've learned is if you correct your mistakes well and with a bit humour, it relaxes you and the other people. You'll earn so much more respect if you can admit your faults and even laugh at some of them. :)
 
atrocityexhibition said:
Probably true. I can laugh at my faults in a normal sense, but when they're AS glitches, I just get down on myself. I should laugh.
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Try your best to laugh at them, honestly! :) I watch other people make so-called 'aspie' mistakes all the time lol. Always remember, every single person on gods green earth makes mistakes! So don't beat yourself up too much! Develope the art of quick thinking and composure! Meditation is great for the latter as well and you'll be fine. :)
 
Sportster said:
It's the same with me. It must be "an Aspie thing," because any type of confrontation totally drains me. I also get a sick feeling after all is said and done. I'm not a violent person, but I've had to live with it so long and was trained for it that I'll confront it head on if pushed to that point.
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No, my NT girlfriend is equally exhausted after a fight as I am, so it can't be an aspect of ASD.
 
Maddox said:
No, my NT girlfriend is equally exhausted after a fight as I am, so it can't be an aspect of ASD.
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powerful emotion tires every single person. it takes more energy! What sets apart an NT from an aspie in this aspect is an NT has the ability to manage said powerful emotion and channel it contructively (most of the time lol). Aspies can struggle more with this as the emotions are much more intense than they should be therefore making them harder to manage. I hope this gives insight to an aspie outburst and why arguments tend to be chaos.
 
100% flight because:
- it firstly avoids any danger
- even if whatever catches up to you, even if it does you could works things out
- you might as well chance running away (flight) because you could escape it without any injury.

and like in general, why fight anyway?. we're all on this planet, no need for fighting man.
 
I'd normally freeze if there's something bothering me. Today, i was on flight mode. I surprised myself and reported two b**ches at work. If I don't think and just do it, it's easier. Glad I did and feel better for it.
 
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It really depends on the situation and what the stressor is. If I'm backed into a corner and I'm angry or very frightened, I fight tooth and nail, either verbally or physically if necessary. Other situations call for flight if I have an escape route, either physically or mentally. When I'm faced with stressors of a kind where I can't get away from them, and I'm not able to fight them, then I freeze. The latter would be in a case where I'm overwhelmed by the number of things I have to do. I'm facing concrete deadlines for some things, but other things must be done in the meantime as well. Clutter is piling up, can't get organized, can't manage time well. When it seems like the obstacles are too huge to overcome, but I can't get away from the responsibility, that's when I freeze. Not the best or most logical reaction though.
 
Difficult to say, depends on the situation. Most often it is either fright or flight, depending on the other emotions mixed in or my stress level prior to the event. If I feel that I've been unfairly treated I will most likely fight against it.
 
I just wanted to interject an alternative perspective. It seems most people are looking at the subject literally, but there are other ways to look at it, that are very relevant in my opinion. Another way to look at it might be:

  • Fight: Engage, actively participate, taking initiative, being proactive, being "alpha"
  • Flight: Avoidance, avoiding dealing with the task at hand, changing subjects, inability to focus
  • Freeze: Inability to act, paralysis by analysis, lacking initiative, inability to make decisions

Considering that, "fight" could actually be seen as a good thing, speaking in a figurative sense. One thing I'd also like to say is that, for most people, there will always be certain things that result in one or more of these responses occurring. Often, it's not always a matter of a person being genetically wired to only ever respond that way to that stimulus. Sometimes it's simply a matter of inexperience dealing with certain situations or tasks. When that's the case, there are always ways that you can improve your response to those things through practice, training, and trial and error. So don't ever feel that things are hopeless, and that you;re doomed to only respond a certain way for a given situation or task. Sometimes you might just need more experience and more practice with it to build up some confidence and tolerance to dealing with it. What I've found personally is, certain things in which my natural instinct has been to freeze or flight, I have trained myself to instead "fight", be proactive, and make decisions on the spot instead of falling prey to paralysis by analysis. Sometimes it takes a lot of repetitions of those tasks/situations, trial, error, and honest self-reflection. In those situations I find that, because of my Asperger's, I still sometimes feel some of the same feelings and have some of the same physiological responses, but through practice and training I've become able to push through it and do what needs to be done in a given situation. You might not be able to do this with all things, but it certainly can't hurt to try!
 
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