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Feeling Confused

P

peoplesrjames

Well-Known Member
I've written about my roommate and our semi-abusive relationship. Well, over the weekend he somehow hacked into my computer and read all of my private messages to friends. Of course there was conversation about him and how he's been treating me. Needless to say, he was ANGRY with me. But I feel I should be angry, he went through my stuff. I can't tell if I'm right or wrong, but I know something isn't right. I should be able to have private conversations with my friends without fear of being snooped on.
 
Assert yourself. You've done nothing wrong. He is the one very much in the wrong and he needs to know that he has gone over a line with what he's done. But do yourself a favour and find a different room mate if you can because this doesn't need to be prolonged.
 
You are totally right to be angry with him, not just for snooping through your stuff but for everything else he's done too.

Leave leave leave!!!
 
If you can't trust a roommate over your computer, there's not telling of the scope of your privacy he may be violating. Sadly that's a queue to begin to contemplate new living arrangements for your own good.
 
Judge said:
If you can't trust a roommate over your computer, there's not telling of the scope of your privacy he may be violating. Sadly that's a queue to begin to contemplate new living arrangements for your own good.
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I'm just torn up because he really acted as though what I did was the worst thing in the world. Yes, I wasn't saying particularly flattering things about him, but I was talking privately to my friends outside of him.
 
peoplesrjames said:
I'm just torn up because he really acted as though what I did was the worst thing in the world. Yes, I wasn't saying particularly flattering things about him, but I was talking privately to my friends outside of him.
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It wasn't the worst thing in the world, by any stretch of the imagination. I believe I remember reading a previous thread that you started about this guy. He is a bully and he is treating you horrendously. Nobody who is truly your friend would treat someone this way. He is in the wrong, and there is no two ways about that, whatever he may say to the contrary.
 
peoplesrjames said:
I'm just torn up because he really acted as though what I did was the worst thing in the world. Yes, I wasn't saying particularly flattering things about him, but I was talking privately to my friends outside of him.
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Sounds more like he's just attempting to deflect who the real perpetrator is. -Him.
 
peoplesrjames said:
I'm just torn up because he really acted as though what I did was the worst thing in the world. Yes, I wasn't saying particularly flattering things about him, but I was talking privately to my friends outside of him.
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This is emotional abuse - you feel torn because he intends for you to feel torn between him and you, and then validate him while dismissing yourself. He wants you to be as defeated as possible - not only by him, but also by your own self! I feel for you :( I think you should make it a top priority to get out of there, because there's a lot of damage he could do that you can't even necessarily prevent/address.
 
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You have done nothing wrong. He is completely in the wrong. If you won't draw the line, none of us can do it for you. Find somewhere else to live.

People of this sort are always looking for someone to control and abuse. They have a craving, a need to have a whipping post around. You cannot change him, or interfere with his continual search for someone to torment. The only thing in your power, is whether or not you going to be that person.
 
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