Don't know what to do

[kellenr]

I'm a mom of 4 kids, and my oldest (11 yrs old) has Aspergers. It's been hard for him ever since he was born. He would get distressed and cry over lights, noises, things nobody else noticed. I hoped he would grow out of some things and he has, but every problem has been replaced with a new one.

He has violent outbreaks and roll on the floor temper tantrums that sometimes appear to be borderline panic attacks. He's put a few holes in the wall and seems to be proud of this. I am so sad that my younger children have to grow up in a house like that, and I can't protect them.

He also has giddy spells, where his eyes glass over and he just giggles. It's impossible to get through to him during these times. No doctor has been able to explain this to me. Sometimes his pupils would get so huge people would comment, what the heck is with his eyes?? We'll be at the store and he'll be clomping down the aisles on his toes, knocking into things and making noises, sometimes he drools. Then half an hr later he's back to normal. It happens at home too, anywhere really. I don't feel like this has been addressed by any of the professionals I've seen, and I feel it's important. Does anyone have any ideas? I know my son and it's definitely not an act. The way he explains it is that everything just seems really funny. It seems like there could be a key there in finding how to help him.

Lately, I've been noticing some very disturbing behaviors. He seems to be paranoid and obsessed that his 4yr old sister is doing bad things to him. For example this morning our dog (a known shoe thief) brought his shoe out through the doggy door to chew on. I went and got it, and my son insisted that his sister took it out there so he'd be late for school. I tried to calm him down but he just kept getting more and more worked up until I had to put him in a time out. Then he goes to school and says his sister hid his shoe and he got in trouble for it.

I don't believe he tries to manipulate, I think he does see things in a very different way. But that means he never believes he does wrong, everything is everyone else's fault, and consequences only serve to make him feel sorry for himself. And there's this new obsession with his sister. It's VERY difficult to deal with as a parent. I just don't know what to do.

He's started taking Risperidone, which seems to have minimized the aggression and giddiness, but also minimized his personality. It breaks my heart that it's getting harder and harder to connect with my son, who regardless of all the troubles I love from the bottom of my heart. I'll never give up on him and I want to believe that someday he'll have a happy, fulfilling life. I'm overwhelmed and sad... just thought someone here might have helpful tips or even just a kind word, I need it today.

Anyway thanks for reading... If anyone has tips on dealing with sibling issues or anything else I'd love to hear it!

 

[dragonwolf]

Have you considered changing his diet? A lot of people on the spectrum (and their parents) find that the more disruptive symptoms dissipate and/or are more manageable on a gluten-free, casein-free diet. Your son may also benefit from a ketogenic diet (low carb, high fat, moderate/adequate protein), which is known to have a number of neurological benefits, which should help with pretty much all of the symptoms you've described.

 

[kellenr]

we actually did try the gluten free diet for a while before we tried medicine. In the end it didn't seem to make any difference. The one thing I have noticed is that like most kids, his behaviors get worse when he's hungry.

 

[Arashi222]

Have you had him checked for seizures?? I am wondering because some of the stopping and staring or just giggling maybe part of seizures. I have a co-worker that has seizures that appear in a similar manner. Just a thought.

 

[Peace]

Hello mother of four,
You are a strong and loving woman and your son could not be more lucky than to have you as a parent. Many of us are over disciplined, shut out or completely given up on. It sounds like you are doing everything you can, and if you continue looking things will continue popping up.
Your son is not acting out, but reacting. As you noticed, he is overstimulated by normal things in his environment which hurt him. He does not understand these things and does not have the knowledge to handle them appropriately. One of the things that helped me the most is to snack all day rather than just eat at meal times. Balancing his blood sugar is important and should prevent the "Worse When Hungry" part.
Best of luck and my heart goes out to you.

 

[kellenr]

thank you, thank you so much peace for the kind words and arashi for the seizure idea. I looked into this idea more and it actually made me cry because it sounds just like my son. I've contacted the school and his dr and we're going to get this checked out.
oh and by the way Peace, hello from a fellow cheese head! My mom still lives in the Harshaw area, but I've left for warmer pastures

 

[wyverary]

Have you had him checked for seizures?? I am wondering because some of the stopping and staring or just giggling maybe part of seizures. I have a co-worker that has seizures that appear in a similar manner. Just a thought.

An excellent suggestion, I think. I developed mild epilepsy in my mid teens and it took quite a while to diagnose, causing shutdowns and outbursts and meltdowns; once it was, and treated, things got LOADS better.