Does Anybody Else Hate Double Standards?

[buckyboy14]

I hate double standards. I feel that either everybody can do something, or nobody can do it. There can't be a "well, this person can, but this person can't." For example, apparently black people can use the "n-word," but whites can't. It's ridiculous. I'm not a person who wants to use the word or anything, but I just hate the fact that people think ethnic origin separates the right to use a word. Another one that I just learned today: Women can go into men's restrooms when the women's restroom is full, but it can't be the other way around. Again, I'm not planning on snooping around women's restrooms anytime soon, but it's the principle that gets to me. And it seems that in the effort to end things such as racism and sexism, the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction with the double standards.

Do these bother anybody else?

 

[Ste11aeres]

I didn't know women could go into Men's restrooms. I sure wouldn't want to. :redface:

 

[Soup]

For the most part I deplore double standards too. Sometimes, though, something can look like a double standard at first blush & trigger a knee-jerk sense of injustice. Before I react that way to something that initially seems unfair, I try to find out the reasons behind the situation.

The women using the men's room thing happens for a reason. Think of an establishment wherein there are a roughly equal amount of men & women. Since men pee standing at a urinal, they're in & out quickly & the 4 -6 stalls in the men's room are empty except for men who have to...well...poop. Women, however, have no option but to use the stalls so in the women's bathroom, the stalls are often all full & it takes them longer to 'go' due to clothing such as nylons, skinny jeans & bodily functions such as menstruation. This means that women are often left standing in long lines when there are empty stalls in the men's room that aren't being used. The problem I have with women using the men's room is the privacy issue for male patrons. While some guys don't care if an entire stadium full of women watches them pee, other guys might feel uncomfortable knowing that women are able to see them. Some men's rooms (more recently built ones) place the urinals where they cannot be seen from the sinks or the stalls allowing for maximum privacy.

The problem with allowing men free access to the women's toilets is the potential for perverted guys, voyeurs & paedophiles to have access to women & girls in an extremely vulnerable situation. Women have reported men coming in & peeking over the tops of stalls, beneath them & through the cracks between the doors. some have been grabbed & even assaulted sexually. The likelihood of a female predator lurking in the men's room seeking to leap out & assault some hapless boy or man is slim to none. Just a few weeks ago, a 6 yr old girl in India using a public ladies room was gang-raped by a bunch of pervs. Women have to be hyper-vigilant in a way that men seldom do.

This explains why the apparent double standard really isn't one.

As for the whole N-word thing, I think it's stupid too. NOBODY should be using it. Also, there are so many areas of vital importance in race relations that need to be addressed in every dimension of society that the N-word argument is an idiotic waste of energy. There are more important things to discuss. Be that as it may, those other important things (such as police profiling etc.) are more difficult & complex & uncomfortable to discuss: banning an offensive word is an easy fix. so long as nobody says the N-word, societies can appease themselves with the comfortable delusion that racism does not exist & just do away with the whole issue.

 

[Antonio]

Yes those things bug me for logical reasons too. But eventually I realized the world just isn't logical and accepted that.
The rules aren't designed to be logical, they're designed to make things so people feel good. I think we just have to accept it.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Did anyone else see Sportster's entry on page 7 of You Might Be an Aspie If?

 

[buckyboy14]

I often fail to know that these double standards even exist. For example, I used to see guys pat each other on the butt all the time, so I assumed it was acceptable. But when I did it, I was deemed a pervert and a rapist. Then I learned that apparently it's only athletes who can do that. What the...?

 

[Sparticus]

I don't mind women using the men's rooms because when I used to go to night clubs I remember the long women's line at their bathrooms. Plus then I read that women take more time going to the bathroom or that there might not be enough bathrooms for women. In an emergency a guy can go into a vacant women's bathroom but runs the risk when existing, of running into a loud mouthed troublemaker. Btw make sure you smile at the hallway camera...

As for the N word, there are racists in every group. It's a deep conversation. Except for childhood & high school, most of my life I've lived in mixed neighborhoods including a few cities. It's an emotional issue that is best discussed with understanding & peace in mind. The media does a disservice to everyone by not including a full story of what happens in the streets to everyone.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I took a college class where sometimes my female classmates would use the women's restroom. But it was a single person bathroom and this building was isolated from the rest of campus and this class had only women in it (men don't realize they should take Child Development classes too,) and we knew there would never be a man in that restroom.
I am amazed to hear for the first time of the boldness of my sex in other cases. I guess since I never went into men's restrooms I never had a way of discovering that there were women in there!

 

[Val2]

I hate double standards. I feel that either everybody can do something, or nobody can do it. There can't be a "well, this person can, but this person can't." For example, apparently black people can use the "n-word," but whites can't. It's ridiculous. I'm not a person who wants to use the word or anything, but I just hate the fact that people think ethnic origin separates the right to use a word. Another one that I just learned today: Women can go into men's restrooms when the women's restroom is full, but it can't be the other way around. Again, I'm not planning on snooping around women's restrooms anytime soon, but it's the principle that gets to me. And it seems that in the effort to end things such as racism and sexism, the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction with the double standards.

Do these bother anybody else?

Definitely bothers me, especially the first example you gave. I also get REALLY upset when a police officer speeds even though they ticket speeders everyday. Another one that use to bother me is in school you're not allowed to use your cell phone or eat snacks in class but while you're in class the teachers cell phone rings and they're sitting at their desk eating snacks.

 

[dudeman]

Yeah, double standards are pretty much the entire reason I left the last forum I was a regular at. If someone was acting like a jerk, the other members would call them on it, as they should. But if I did the same thing (calling a jerk on their jerkishness, that is), those same members would act like I was the one causing trouble and whoever was acting like a jerk would be completely ignored as if nothing had happened. This happened frequently and eventually, I got sick of it.

 

[Gomendosi]

dudeman, we try our best not to let people be picked on, if you feel that way here then please inform a moderator and one of us will look into it as we tend to like to avoid having members arguing or bickering in our threads. No matter how nicely worded an argument is, it is against the rules. Hope this helps to put your mind at ease ; ]

 

[Jess]

Unfortunately I feel like I have double-standard beliefs myself. Like "I'm emotionally fragile so no one can criticize me, but I'll criticize you because you can handle it." I hate this about myself.