Getting a new pet after the passing of an old one is in no way a betrayal. Often it becomes a living memory of a beloved companion. The times of happiness and contentment they brought are closer to the surface, more tangible.
e.g.
Potato Cat's coat pattern is eerily similar to my CatCat's coat pattern. There are certain pictures I have that it is nearly impossible to distinguish between the two cats. Yet there are profound differences. CatCat was as introverted as a cat could be and she was barely seven pounds. Potato Cat is a confident, personable cat who is nearly fourteen pounds.
I had CatCat for two decades before she passed. When a friend gave me Potato, it was a watershed moment...One, we definitely needed another cat, two, we learned Rue Dog was amazingly good with very young animals. Rue saw Potato Cat as his charge to watch over.
With Zwi's passing, we knew going in we were going to get an Aussie puppy. We had been aiming for the spring, but then we got the message about Marlowe. He has been an amazing addition to our pack.
In Marlowe we've seen hints of Zwi's sweetness, patience, and friendly nature, but Mar has also clicked with Rue in a way Zwi never did.
Marlowe isn't a betrayal of Zwi's memory. He is a reminder of how much Zwi would have loved meeting Marlowe. Having a new puppy has also brought fresh energy into the house. We've been facing a changing of the guard since mid summer...watching minutes tick down, knowing what was coming.
One of the emotions people don't often discuss with loss is the awful sense of simple relief when those we love are no longer struggling, fading a little more each day. They are at peace. The guilt for feeling that sense of release is normal. And that guilt is a result of the unexpected relief...that is what feels like the betrayal.
We've said goodbye twice in four years. And both times it broke me, but it was the right decision. So were Potato Cat and Marlowe...they aren't replacements, they are the next chapter and a step toward growing beyond the losses we've had.
The grief doesn't diminish, people keep growing, both mentally and emotionally.