Difficulty Recognizing People

[breadfin]

Not sure if this is just a me thing- but it has always frustrated me- and has put me in a lot of awkward situations. One of my son's, who was diagnosed PDD, has the same problem.

It's recognizing faces. This isn't just with people that I've met once- this is with people that I have met several times- even those who have come to my house for visits (such as neighbours) and with whom I have had huge conversations- they've brought their spouse and children, and we've talked for over an hour or two. And yet if I see them again, in a store for instance, I can't for the life of me recognize them- my husband is very valuable in such situations because he recalls everyone's faces and names. I just can't do it. In fact, it takes me a while to recall people I've worked with- and those that have worked in the same building with me- forget it- will not remember them at all.

Anyone else have this problem- or is it just me because it is very frustrating.

N

 

[King_Oni]

Well, it seems that there's a possible link to autism (and similar diagnoses) and something that is called Prosopagnosia.

This is an article about it

As for myself, yes I do have problems with it sometimes, though it's not really "consquent" in that I don't recognize anybody. I must add, that if people have really distinct, not facial features, it helps me a lot to put a name (and possibly an identity) to them a bit more... think tattoos, "weird" hair, piercings, a specific style of clothing or just in general the frame of reference where I meet someone. But yeah, with recognition comes a deal of logics and memorisation that's not directly just "the face".

 

[breadfin]

Thank you sooo much for that article- I'm going to print it and save it!

I always thought maybe I was mad or something- but then my son has the same problem- and I've been meaning to post this question for a while but just now got the courage to do so. It just seems like such an odd thing when everyone around you seems to recognize everyone else and you're having trouble recognizing someone you met yesterday.

I'm going to read up on this and start working on it!!

Thanks greatly!

N

 

[Geordie]

Me!

I think I have this problem of not recognizing people.

But I remember others' characteristics, like what they do and what they like. So who cares if I don't recognize them? I know their tastes and that's really more important in relationships. Plus, my inability to remember others is a distinctive character by itself

 

[epath13]

At 1st I've thought maybe I don't have such a big of an issue with that but now I'm thinking I do have trouble with recognizing people sometimes. As for names, I don't really care any more. Most of the names I never remember unless I've written them down ot typed them a couple of times. As for faces it's like this: for me there're people who blend in and people who stand out, I will most likely remember those who stand out because I usually pay more attention to them. It's almost like people who blend in are "drawn" in pastel tones or tones of gray, people who stand out are "brightly colored" and I don't have enough storage for all the "nuances" just for "primary colors". That's why blending in people are perceived more vaguely.

 

[WildCat]

I remember people by face, tone of voice, clothing, name, etc. I've never had too much trouble with this as I've got mental snapshots of everyone I know fairly well, enough that I can recognize them one way or another.

I hear that it's a common problem for those with autism, to be unable to recognize faces or facial details, but you know what my problem is? Describing faces. Seriously, it's funny how I can tell people apart without mistake by looking at them yet I can't describe them off the top of my head.

 

[kasmanaft08]

I hear that it's a common problem for those with autism, to be unable to recognize faces or facial details, but you know what my problem is? Describing faces. Seriously, it's funny how I can tell people apart without mistake by looking at them yet I can't describe them off the top of my head.

Actually I have this problem too. People used to ask me what my (ex)boyfriend looked like all the time. I really had no clue how to describe him except blonde and what kind of clothes he wore last I saw him. If I ever had to interview for a police sketch, even if I know the person extremely well, I doubt I could do it.

I confuse people a lot. Sometimes I won't remember what someone looks like in the face, even though I should. It's like a dream- where you wake up and can't verbalize what the dream was about, but you remember the essence of it I suppose, you just know.

I have to be around someone a lot for me to gather it. Even when I'm familiar with them, if I have to pick them out from a crowd it takes a moment for me to register it. Besides family and people I live with, the only exceptions would be webcam- because that's really all you see and all you're looking at from a comfortable distance.

So I guess that it's not that I can't, it's that it just doesn't come naturally.

 

[cheetoe80]

I have this issue

 

[epath13]

it was kinda embarrassing yesterday a fire investigator came by our house asking questions, I told him, "you know investigators came on the day of the fire, and I told them that I didn't see much blah blah". I see the guy is smiling, later I realized, I think he was one of those investigators god to me they looked like twins, both had light eyes and dark hair, just one shorter than the other talking about facial recognition

 

[alien girl]

my mother says when i was a year old i didnt recognize my father, who's been gone for about six days and came back unshaven. she said i treated him like a stranger and it drove him crazy.
when i was about seven or eight, i walked into a room and this woman looked at me and said, "So, what are you all up to?" i knew she looked familiar from somewhere but couldnt know from where, till she took off her wig and said, "It's mom..."
once i was on a bus and caught a refelction of myself in the mirror. my hair was a bit wild because it was a windy day, and i thought 'who's that girl with that weired look in her eyes?' and then i pushed the hair out of my eyes and the girl in the mirror did the same thing.
i constantly forget people i've seen and talked to, even if i talked to them more than once, and i feel bad for hurting their feelings. when working for mcdonalds as a cashier, i asked one of the co worker who was going to go in for her shif, "Welcomd to mcdonalds, can i help you?" she didnt take this very well...
it is most certainly an aspie thing.

 

[HelloDizzy]

I can't remember names but I remember hair colors, body shapes, and clothes.

 

[Gomendosi]

The name game, oh how I hate to play that one.

The amount of times I have had a whole conversation with someone and I couldn’t remember their name. I know a guy, for like fifteen years I’ve seen him occasionally, here, there and everywhere and he always comes up and says my name, followed by how are you. I always have to use generic terms like matey or bloke or dude or buddy because I have no idea what his name is!

I don’t refer to people by name in conversation, it is unnecessary, they know who they are, and it is impolite to yell out in the street so no need for a name there either.

Unless I converse with a person on a regular basis, I will usually forget their name and even sometimes after a day or two if I have other things on my mind, if I feel it is important I may make up a nickname that reminds me, probably one that starts with the same letter as their name. The very worst thing is if you are talking to someone and someone else wants to be introduced!

 

[2vette2camaro]

I have this problem. People will talk to me and I will go on and on trying to finally get a clue to who they are- sometimes it never happens- sometimes they will say "You don't know who I am do you?".

One day a guy was talking to me and I had no CLUE who he was- well, it turns out he was a friends of ours!

My husband says one day I won't recognize him- he's probably right!

 

[Caspar]

Yes I have this problem too. As if being socially awkward isn't bad enough, prosopagnosia just compounds the problem :S

 

[Studies Shadows]

Me too. I though it was just me, glad all you folks have this problem too, lol. I kinda got a pretend act for those situations but sometimes it fails and yes, its embarrasing

 

[marraco]

I have this problem, and I think that the reason is I do not see people in the face.

One time I had a teacher women which was blonde, and at an exam, I was wandering between a sea of people, looking for my teacher. Then I found a blonde teacher, and asked her if she was <my forgotten teacher name>. She told me "No". Then I continued looking for, until I found a similar teacher, and asked her the same question, and she answered "You have just made me that question a minute ago". I never registered his face, because, she was not what I was looking for.

I frequently ask for somebody's name, as a formality, but I do not register the answer. Then I don't know the name of the people which I are talking, and I do not dare to ask again, because I'm supposed to know it.

 

[HighPlateau]

It's no joke. I have often wondered if early dementia was making a play for me, so it is reassuring to know this may be another manifestation of my AS.

Once I cannonned into a housemate in the city's main shopping street. He had been hailing me for many metres before our paths intersected and I had failed to notice, then I entirely failed to recognise him when we collided - which was pretty funny, because he was my boyfriend at the time. Luckily, he thought it was hilarious. This is the first time I remember its having happened, though it has many times since with other people.

Here is one that conjures a great deal of guilt in me. Sometimes I have struggled to recognise my own son in photographs, occasionally (to my great embarrassment) picking out a classmate rather than him; nowadays, to avoid such an appalling gaffe, when uncertain I have to just sort of generally wave the photograph in his direction and hope he will step in to do any recognition that is necessary. Actually, the consequences are nowhere near so great with your own son, because you can share a joke at mum's weirdness without it compromising his sense of being cared for; but as a mother it makes me feel terrible.

Quite recently, I was at a political rally - the sort of event where you expect to bump into friends - and was hailed by name by a woman I didn't know. She helpfully reminded me of her name, and I still couldn't place her. Eventually, it became really obvious that I couldn't recognise her at all, and in exasperation she reminded me of her partner's name. Then, of course, it all fell into place, but by then nothing could be done to repair the fact that I had utterly failed to recognise a woman with whom I had socialised on many occasions, accompanied to gigs when our partners played in a band together, shared many deep conversations with, and stayed in the same hotel room with when as two couples we met up for a week in Scotland (from Australia, that is a big deal). She was deeply hurt, and I know will never consider me a friend again. Even now, as I write, I struggle to remember her name, though her (very nice) personness is indelibly struck on my mind.

Quick tip for making introductions: instead of flailing about trying to remember someone's name to perform an introduction, do this. It works very reliably. Stand aside with an embracing gesture and smile very broadly as you look at each of them in turn - full in the eyes - and say, "You two know each other, don't you." Then take a small step backwards (without actually walking away). Even when you all know full well they have never met before, they will usually step into the breach and if you are very quick you will be able to hear the forgotten name as the person introduces themselves. Sometimes they share a joke about your forgetfulness or appalling social inadequacy, but it is all very friendly and nobody actually finds out just how "bad" you are.

 

[arthurfakaya]

I have always had this problem with facial recognition. It takes me a long time to become familiar with people's appearances (and to associate names with them). My theory is that it is a consequence of not looking at people's faces. Strangely, for me it isn't looking people in the eye that's a problem as much as studying their faces. I just seem to lock on to the eyes and this prevents me seeing, scanning, processing, and remembering their faces. The closer they stand or sit away from me, the harder I find it to look at them. It just feels wrong or sneaky to study their face, although I don't feel others are wrong to study mine, which they surely must do. But others often interpret lack of facial contact as sneaky and untrustworthy in us. Does anyone relate to this?

 

[Bay]

I have trouble recognizing people if it see them out of context. For instance, I can't recognize my neighbor if I see her at the supermarket. I can't recognize a coworker at the mall (I hate the mall anyway and tend to walk around with my head down). It's as though I need to see them in the same environment in which I met them in order to recognize them.

 

[arthurfakaya]

I have trouble recognizing people if it see them out of context. For instance, I can't recognize my neighbor if I see her at the supermarket. I can't recognize a coworker at the mall (I hate the mall anyway and tend to walk around with my head down). It's as though I need to see them in the same environment in which I met them in order to recognize them.

Ditto, except that I vaguely recognise the face, I just can't work out where I know that person from, even though I might have had a lengthy conversation just the day before. I could really use a photo album in my pocket that I could surreptitiously refer to. Perhaps I could be hard-wired with that facial recognition software the cops use as I walk along?

Lately, I've been conscious of the fact that I avoid eye contact of people in the street and have been experimenting with observing people's faces and their reactions. However, I really don't understand the rules and etiquette so for all I know I may be making others uncomfortable by looking at them - even briefly. There should be an instruction manual on when you can look at people, and for how long etc. I just don't feel like I'll ever get it.