Crossed over to psychopathy but our Princess can't go to jail so we're going to be kinky

[Rogue Princess]

I've been struggling lately. Constantly pushed past my tether, having meltdowns etc. people won't give me peace. Anyway, I ended getting pushed too far and I crossed the psychopath line. Lost that ability to know or care what's right or wrong, good or bad, good or evil. I've been concerned... Well, not concerned... I've been buying poison and feeding it to the neighbours dog.
There's so much frustration and built up crap from the people around me, I keep wanting to hurt people and take their lives. Total psychopath.
Not total though, there's still a voice of reason. Figured I was going too far and thought about prison, put that scare in my head. But yea, a few days ago a guy was asking if he could be my sub, do errands for me, etc. Idk, I got to talking and revealed to him that I am a sadist and the needs that I would like met. It was weird, I was nervous... First time opening up about my needs to anyone ever, it felt surreal. Like, am I allowed to want things? Anyhow, I lost interest in him, he was after different things.

But today I decided I need to go feed my monster, find a sub that's willing and just indulge, bring the pain, unleash my monster and explore all of that as a kinky thing in the fetish world. I just need to let out my pain and my hurt and I need to see someone else feel it. So I'm sort of starting to let myself explore these things now. Find my Mistress self. And I think, I hope, this will stop me from needing to take a life. As satisfying as it would be... I can't let myself end up in prison.

Oh yes, the Princess is a type of Goddess-alter that is created out of the best of me. So the rest of us live to make her happy, buy her treats and spoil her. We ordered her a late Christmas present, a Barbie and a Rapunzel doll, she's really looking forward to it. But she really wanted Venus Mcflytrap, we couldn't find her anywhere.
That's a DID/split personality/consciousness thing. I've got a whole world inside my head.



Hmmm.....

I should probably not hang round here long after this. Now I've revealed I could be a potential killer. Takes a lot for the world to push you to where I am. Well, I doubt I wouldn't get caught after the first. I've noticed how obvious the trails and evidence I leave are.....

 

[tree]

Sounds like going to prison would be rather redundant for you, actually.

 

[Mary Terry]

@Rogue Princess
You need professional help. Normal, mentally healthy people do not poison dogs or regularly fantasize about killing or hurting people.

 

[Rogue Princess]

I've tried for years to get help. The irony is they finally found me a therapist 2 weeks ago.
It was 2018 I was brutally attacked and given brain damage. I've been tortured by everyone around me since.
Yesterday my neighbours had leafblowers, kept going Infront of my window, they pushed me into a meltdown that ended with me blacking out. B

These people cause me constant meltdowns.


I don't see any kindness, compassion or decent people in my world.

It was difficult to poison the dog (he's ok by the way). But that dog killed my babies. They were my everything.

 

[tree]

@Rogue Princess
What babies?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am happy that, unlike you, I did not choose cruelty. Despite my feelings of isolation due to my social dysfunction that I attributed to a cruel dismissal of my feelings, I could never act in such a manner.

Please find help. While I have little problem with kinks I would rather approach them in a joyous manner rather than using them to denigrate another. Can't you do that?