Awkward...

[Sherlock77]

Tonight... Followed my nose (via a Facebook suggestion) to an event a poet friend of mine was involved with. It was some sort of open mic, I wanted to get out of the house for awhile anyway. It turned out to be an open mic for people with mental illness, it seemed good.

The awkward part, thankfully brief, was the break between performers with everyone milling around the small cafe, voices jumbled together. I didn't know anyone except my friend who was the MC, and she was busy with other tasks, we only talked very briefly.

Eventually I spent most of the break time outside, where the ceiling wasn't quite so low My friend encouraged everyone to meet someone new on the break, I felt so awkward I didn't meet that quota.

I had a similar situation at a church function on Good Friday a couple of months ago, after the service everyone was invited to the snack room, low ceiling, voices jumbled together. Even knowing a few people in the crowd I just wanted out of there! I only stayed briefly.

I've always been like this in similar rooms, why I often have trouble going to pubs, even though that is such a standard place for people to mingle in western society, that low ceiling again, among other reasons.

 

[Streetwise]

sounds like claustrophobia try gradually doing it going to a closed in room, then standing at the door ,going in for a second et al

 

[Bolletje]

I know the feeling. Even thought I'm fairly well adjusted these days, breaks during social events such as the one you just described really make me wish I still smoked. Smoking was a perfect excuse to get outside and a way to bond with the few people outside. This is not me saying you should smoke though

 

[Sherlock77]

sounds like claustrophobia try gradually doing it going to a closed in room, then standing at the door ,going in for a second et al

Not claustrophobia, depending on how it's defined.

Once the performance starts and there is something to focus on, and not feel forced to chat with anyone, I'm fine and can focus on the performance.

 

[Sherlock77]

I know the feeling. Even thought I'm fairly well adjusted these days, breaks during social events such as the one you just described really make me wish I still smoked. Smoking was a perfect excuse to get outside and a way to bond with the few people outside. This is not me saying you should smoke though

I often go outside at such events just to get some fresh air, even if I don't smoke

 

[Streetwise]

oh just a plain panic attack

Not claustrophobia, depending on how it's defined.

Once the performance starts and there is something to focus on, and not feel forced to chat with anyone, I'm fine and can focus on the performance.

 

[Bolletje]

oh just a plain panic attack

Doesn't have to be. I plain dislike feeling like I'm forced to socialize as well, doesn't need to be medicalized.

 

[Streetwise]

i wasnt referring to you and fortunately im glad i can express my point of view as well

Doesn't have to be. I plain dislike feeling like I'm forced to socialize as well, doesn't need to be medicalized.

 

[Sherlock77]

Like tomorrow night I "might" to a jam night a friend hosts, I'll just see how tired I feel after work.

I will photograph it if I go, even between sets the ceiling is quite high and I typically will deal with that better. During the jam I will be very active taking photos and won't notice a thing. Heck photography is my main obsession, I'll be completely zoned in.

 

[Grandmother B]

Doesn't have to be. I plain dislike feeling like I'm forced to socialize as well, doesn't need to be medicalized.

Me, too, and I'm NT.

 

[Bolletje]

i wasnt referring to you and fortunately im glad i can express my point of view as well

I didn't think you were refering to me, I just thought you were a bit quick to slap labels on someone else's story.

 

[Streetwise]

Me, too, and I'm NT.

the truth is when i read i DONT like being medicalised i think they've got a problem but they've decided to dump on me
i have to play by the rules on this forum so everybody else has to including you and that includes not dumping on me

 

[Streetwise]

so why did you refer to you as i if you DIDNT think i was referring to you

I didn't think you were refering to me, I just thought you were a bit quick to slap labels on someone else's story.

 

[John M]

I experience similar issues. If I have a clear context to communicate with someone then I'm fine. Being in a room full of people isn't a clear context so I have no reason to communicate. I've never been comfortable at parties for this reason. I like being social sometimes but all I really want to do is be around people. I don't want to communicate with them unless I have a reason to. Its hard to find a group of people that are comfortable with this.

 

[Questella]

I've had this, gone to an event with a friend that immediately ran off to say hi to other people and told me to make some friends. I just stood there the entire night like, "um?" **friend magic!!** yeah I felt totally stupid. I ended up spending nearly 80$ at the bar drinking because I felt so out of place (I tend to drink topshelf and drinks were pushing 20$ a drink with tipping the bartender), I totally should of snuck in my own bottle. x.x I couldn't even get a good buzz because I was so uncomfortable. _._,

Then after the event he got invited to an after party of his one friend that hated me and told me I needed to have somebody come get me because I couldn't go with him. I spent an hour crying at the bar then cried at home and got into a fight with dude at home. The whole night was just stupid. Maybe he was expecting me to make friends and find another after party? I've never been able to do that. x.x

I like it with my dude though he never runs off and expects me to socialize on my own at any sort of event. I try not to follow him around at his family parties because I think it seems totally awkward for his family but other than that I stick with him whenever we go out together. ((Didn't have the babysitter for us both to go out the said night above))

I often go outside at such events just to get some fresh air, even if I don't smoke

This too, I often try to move around to the different areas of the venue often so I'm not being stagnant and weird.