Aspergers and High school

[Art-Lover74]

I'm a 23 year old young woman that has Aspergers Syndrome. I was diagnosed when I was about four years old. I knew I was different from the other kids, but I didn't know what AS was until I was in high school. I hate myself for having this disability. I've meet people in high school, but I felt left out and isolated because I was different. I don't think anybody knows that I have AS. I struggled to fit in, but I was always pushed away and end up alone. I was frustrated. I was never part of a group of friends. I only have one friend that is very true to me and she never ignored me. I have friends outside of high school and connected to a few of my childhood friends made me so happy. I sometimes feel rotten because of my disability and stupid, but I'm not. I feel stupid and sometimes I regret my childhood because I wasn't in the same level as other kids my age. Even today, I'm still frustrated and self harm myself and feel depressed at times. I feel like I'm pressured. I wish Autism wound go away, but unfortunately, it can't. I'm a college student and my mind will be focused in the present.

 

[Jeff]

Don't hate yourself for asperger's, we're just different. But we are still valuable. You seem like a good person.
I wish I could help you more. It feels a bit bad only being able to give text on a screen.
I haven't fit in with people in my life either.

 

[Ereth]

I don't think that you "weren't on the same level" as a kid. You were just dealing with something you didn't understand. And look how far you've come! You're in college! You might still have trouble making friends, but most people in college are a little more mature than high schoolers. Every day is a new chance to reach out to someone else.

Do you receive counseling? If not, please consider it. I'm no doctor, but you sound like you might be struggling with depression.

 

[Gulas]

My strategy of dealing with high school issues was just wait. So I did. Just waited 3 years for these nightmares to end. And it did end. But once I got out, it was emptiness, nothing. I managed to get in one of the bestests university of my country. And yet still felt nothing.

The few friends I had I started to ignore them because of this feeling of emptiness. They say when you go to college or university you bloom, meet a lot of people and girls. Obviously, I didn't. It made things worse.

And to make things better I'm stuck with procastination and bad grades.

But I'm trying to fix these issues. I try keep contact with old friends who deserve my atention. I try to enjoy the beaty of the subject studied, I try enjoy lerning, not because I HAVE to score A.

I guess it's worth it.

 

[Dakura]

I'm also 23 with most likely AS, and in my last year of University and I felt the exact same way through all my highschool and university... before my close encounter with death a year ago...

And you know what? Enjoy life, enjoy the little things, the ant that may crawl about in the summer, the trees slowing losing leaves to grow another, the shape of snowflakes. Learning new and wonderous things about the world you never knew about? Or doing things you never thought you'd enjoy, like rafting or writing a novel. Discover the world, there will always be a way to live life in any ways you want, you might just have to discover it. Failure isn't the end of life, it's when you give up (it sounds really cliche I know).

And if you're different? So what? Celebrate it! (another cliche but true!) Everyone is different and unique, they all simply pretend not to be because everyone is afraid just like you and I. Keep that in mind the next time you see a person. Sometimes if you take the first step, you might discover that the other person is very much like you!! (And you did by just joining this forum I think xD)

Or don't, that's your choice, but make it your choice so you won't regret it later! ~

Finally, I'd like to say, don't regret, because it's gone, it has happened. But the future is still going to happen, the present is still happening. So make the best of it

 

[2cat007]

Don't hate yourself just because you have Aspergers. Back when I was in public school I didn't feel like I fit in either. *hug* Does anyone know about your depression? If no one knows I would consider seeing a counselor about your desperation.