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Are You Guys Open About Your Interests? Or Do You Hide Them?

C

CJO1991

Active Member
Hi, everyone!

I just joined this forum recently, so I'm very interested in seeing how other people deal with A.S. I was wondering: Do those of you with strong interests or obsessions hide them or be open about them, despite possible social implications?

I have learned over the years that it's best to hide them as much as possible, because when I start blabbing on about them, it generally turns people off, while when I go against my internal voice and don't share them, it seems to work out better socially for me.

For example, one of my biggest interests is medicine. I've been into it since I was in elementary school, and because of this, I can talk medicine with people in the medical field, read medical writings easily, explain a lot of complicated illnesses and injuries, etc. I never really share this interest with other people, but whenever someone asks me about my interests or something, I tell them I'm interested in medicine, but I treat it like it's something that just interests me a bit, rather than something I could discuss for hours on end. I really downplay the interest. Another example would be if that same person asked me what a disease was, I would give a short and simple explanation, only giving the elaborate one I could give if prodded to. It just seems better socially to have something that interests me a little bit, rather than openly demonstrating one of the obsessions that most of Aspies seem to have.

I've done the same thing with all of my interests lately (geography, foreign languages, law, history.) I do things such as act like I don't know the answer to questions I know, give shorter answers than I can, try my best to hide my interests, etc. I somewhat feel ashamed, as I feel like I'm hiding who I am, but I know that honestly, no one would want to hear me give a ten-minute soliloquy about something related to one of my obscure interests haha.

So what do you guys do?
 
I do exactly as you do. And welcome to the forum.
 
When I was younger everyone knew my obsessions, because you would find a 10 book high pile of books on the subject sitting on my school desk :)
It wasn't very often I would actually discuss my obsessions unless I was really asked about it. When I had an intense obsession I usually become quite oblivious to everyone one else in the world and focus solely on that topic of interest. I often found that I received excessive, and often quite brutal, criticism about my obsessions from both the young and the old. Now that I'm older and a bit more aware of other people, I do my absolute best to live a very private life; I don't think many people outside my family (and this forum) know my recent obsessions.
 
I try to express them but then I remember that not many people I know have that same interest, so I get ZERO discussion. I want to build relationships and make them stronger but it's kinda hard when your interests are vastly different than most people you know. So I'm going to pursue fixing that. :)

I need to get out more. And have a job where I work with others. Lol
 
I'm somewhere in the middle with this.

Most, if not all of my interests are too weird or taboo for the general populous. And if I take in consideration that most of my interests get into specific aspects it's not something I feel I should put out in the open in an attempt to discuss. It just gets me irate because I can't communicate on a similar level with someone. So I'm not screaming everything from rooftops so to speak.

That being said, I'm also not overly secretive about my interests and such. I just do whatever I want and if people are interested I don't mind giving out information about it.

I'm not secretive about my obsessions because I'm ashamed of them... if anything it's because I don't have a desire be bothered about it all the time.

The downside however for me is that I have little to no interest in more accepted things... so that at times ends up in weird arguments because I either have a rather unorthodox view on it or just don't have an opinion about it at all and that often gets people riled up asking me "how can you not have an opinion on this?"... I probably live in my own world way too much (though I think those 24 hours a day aren't nearly enough for me).

What's also interesting here is that my social circle of friends share at least 1 of my interests, so I have enough social interaction about these things. I never understood why I should put up with people whom I have nothing in common with anyway.
 
I don't like one-way conversations about things I'm not interested in, so I try not to do it to others. I channel it instead into personal projects, writing, and research. Downplaying might be a strong word, though, since I'm generally pretty open about what I really like in the hopes of attracting like minds.
 
My interest in weddings is pretty public, but that's really easy because I'm a wedding photographer on the side. Once I got boyfriend past the initial strangeness of having a new girlfriend obsessed with weddings, I didn't have to hide it so much around him.

The only one I have that I feel compelled to hide a little bit is my interest in maps. If I could cover my walls in them I would but I limit it to a few cartography websites and a special maps Pinterest board to keep myself from being totally crazy about them. It drives boyfriend nuts when I want to drag along an atlas on road trips since we both have iPhones. So that one I try to keep to myself.
 
If it's a friendly and informal setting, I'm perfectly willing to talk about them...as I am willing to hear about others' interests as well (Aspie or no). It's a bit of a litmus test: If it turns them off, they're probably not interesting enough to hang about with.
 
My interests/obsessions aren't much of a secret and never have been. However all too often they seem to prove a bit too "intense" for most people. So I've learned to keep them to myself in most cases...
 
I don't keep them secret, but I usually don't bring them up unless something prompts me to, because most people don't share them and they probably get bored by them.
 
I don't mind sharing most of my interests, but a few of them are probably best kept to myself (don't worry, they're nothing illegal).
 
Interesting to see the different responses.

I keep mine hidden not because of what they are, but because I know so much about them. A lot of my interests I have are shared by other people and aren't considered "weird" at all, but my level of interest in them would likely turn people off, so I either hide the interest or almost never talk about it.

That's one thing that I regret about college. College would've been a great place to join clubs and be able to share interests; unfortunately I was still working on dealing with A.S. and was extremely antisocial throughout my time in school. I only learned how to effectively deal with A.S. a while after graduation.
 
Absolutely no one knows about my interests in airplanes, motorcycles, cars, guns, disc golf, Libertarian politics, beer etc...

It's a big secret so sshhhhhhhhh!!!!

:p
 
For me some are hidden, if I trust them then they may see the other side to me.;)

I now realize I put up a barrier until I know some one, then lower them as I get to know them.
 
Last edited:
CJO1991 said:
Hi, everyone!

I just joined this forum recently, so I'm very interested in seeing how other people deal with A.S. I was wondering: Do those of you with strong interests or obsessions hide them or be open about them, despite possible social implications?
...... So what do you guys do?
Click to expand...

I have strong interests and I share them if they want to listen. It doesn't bother me. If NT's don't like it, too bad.
 
I can go on and on and on and on and on and on(etc.) about books, my life, random thoughts that magically appear in my mind, band, my favorite things... Yeah.
 
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