Are you argumentive?

[rollerskate]

Yeah I don't really mean to argue but I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I feel like I have something informational to offer, even when it's in conflict with what has already been said. I see it as sharing useful, clarifying information, but it tends to get received as me attacking. Usually more misinformation follows, I try to correct it, and off we go until they start with the personal attacks. Then I'm just like, seriously? What's your problem? It's usually around that point I disappear... Mainly because I'm not there to swap dumb personal attacks, what on earth does that accomplish?

I mostly try to just keep conflicting opinions/information to myself. Even if I just want to explain my stance and find out the reasoning behind theirs, which is what it is with me most of the time. I'm just curious and in order to make it easier for them to identify how to explain things to me I'll share what I've got on my end so far and pepper my conclusions with questions on what they think about this and that.

Ah well.

 

[Judge]

Sometimes I do get the impression with Neurotypicals that they want to argue a point like British Redcoats neatly lining up in the middle of the battlefield before they formally fire their volley. And that once they fire, they expect me to respond in an alike and orderly fashion.

I argue to make a point. Not fulfill a social ritual. They don't like that and I know they don't.

About all I can do is to back off if there's no real point to it all. I do that more often these days...trying to be careful as to where I pick my battles. Something I used to seldom consider. Maybe I'm just getting old!

 

[Granta_Omega]

I think whether or not someone enjoys an argument is a separate trait, but what is similar is the way some of us think when we argue though.

I generally enjoy a good argument, but only because I'm not afraid to take the spotlight, and can enjoy being the center of attention without worrying about whether people think I look freaky.

I generally have a notion that I'm right in a lot of arguments, and put opinions into a logical manner, and can get angry when I feel others are making a stupid argument based on their feelings that they can't justify. If I stopped arguing, people's ignorance would still bother me, so the argument is just how the thinking manifests itself I think, but generally Aspies probably have a difficult time looking into the thought patterns and justifications for others' views.

 

[watersprite]

I don't like confrontation. Generally, I disappear like smoke from a blown out candle. With one exception, and that is if someone messes with my kid I will go ballistic.

 

[Beverly]

Argumentative? No I'm not. Opinionated, stubborn and relentless until I'm heard? Yes I am that and that can come across as being argumentative even though arguing is not my intention.

I don't like confrontation but, I've learned to deal with it and stand my ground or, seek a workable compromise if it's a negotiation confrontation- and negotiating venues and contracts is always a confrontation. they want to charge me the most or give me the least and, I want to pay the least or get paid the most, then both sides act like pit bulls with a nice meaty bone, we aren't letting go of anything we want, we'll chew your head off first. An hour of shouting, two Titan Missiles and a nuclear bomb later, we come to an agreement. (figuratively speaking)

So not I'm not intentionally argumentative, but I'm pretty good at winning an argument.

 

[qwerty]

arguing often led to very unpredictable and often violent reactions in the area where i spent most of my childhood and this has led to me being very wary when it comes to arguing. When i do get into a debate or argument of some kind i have been told that it is very frustrating.

I take things VERY literally when somebody speaks, not so much online but definitely when engaged in conversation. I often can not see the point of the argument and tend to focus on the minutia as it is presented rather than see the bigger picture and cant spot rhetorical questions so end up trying to earnestly answer every thing to the best of my ability and concentrate intensely trying to work out all the information bombarding me which must appear pretty comical to onlookers

But i find it very exhausting, unless the argument borders on any of my special interests, then i can drone on for hours in an aspie information trance lol

 

[Jonathan Lees]

i like debating and playing devils advocate because it annoys me when people have bad reasoning even if i actually agree with their conclusions so sometimes will debate with them to allow them to improve their reasoning. i generally have to debate with people a lot as have some very left wing, fairly socialist and liberal views that not everyone agrees with and i often find myself having to defend (which i always do brilliantly).
i really hate aggressive fighting arguments and disagreements though and thankfully haven't personally really been in any, debates are a good way to use logic and take full advantage of being an aspie but is very different from fighting and shouting with others which i hate and cant cope with.

 

[Gingerpickles]

I would have loved to join the debate club and work to defend a position even if it weren't my choice. However, when conversation without a moderator turns to discussion of pros and cons, then to debate and finally, to arguing, I really don't want to participate. If the battle really heats up I don't like to stay within ear shot. I was recently drawn into an online political debate (I would never get into a face to face similar situation--I would have beat a hasty retreat) and I immediately regretted that I said anything. I learned that the participants actually enjoyed arguing. Is my behavior on the Aspie side?

I debate passionately but feel no passion in the debate most cases. I don't really like to argue, when I was young it gave me a panic attack. After a head injury though I have stopped being described as pollyanna and considered a bit belligerent. I am also more likely to argue something I have a firm knowledge of. I don't usually take arguements to heart unless there is unmistakable personal attack involved.

 

[Progster]

It depends how passionately I feel about the subject. If it's something I feel strongly about and have a strong conviction that I'm right, then I can become very active or vocal in a discussion. But generally speaking, I tend to avoid conflict.

 

[TK85]

I just can't deal with somebody having a point of view built on a faulty thought process, I'll often end up arguing with both sides of an argument because they are not well developed, they are hypocritical, they have a logical conclusion that conflicts with the premise of their position and/or they commit the crime of emotional/political bias and I feel like it's my responsibility to help them see how their thought process is faulty/interfered with.
Anyway it alienates people because you're not on their 'team'. Their thought processes are weak they think numbers=truth, if they can find somebody who agrees with them=truth, they can't see bias in themselves easily.

They can't even see the bias these days while they are pointing out supposed white racial biases.

I just don't respect the skill of politics, social game playing, even marketing as a discipline (although if I believe in a product for actual reasons, I could market it very passionately).

I'm quite capable of discussing the other side of a passionate view with anybody, except I just feel frustrated or annoyed if they see it as conflict or argument and will bail on them or point out their ****** argumentative skills on the way out, such as trying to paint me into having a position that I don't actually have. (Because their brain can't work out that somebody could see flaws in their argument without being on the 'opposing team'.)

One of my goals (before even considering that I could have this 'aspergers' way of thinking ) this year was to not engage in any of this time wasting stuff with muppets obsessed with being on a team.

This is my first post, feel free to PM me if this resonates with anybody because I am very new to the possibility of being able to get an Aspergers diagnosis.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

I just can't deal with somebody having a point of view built on a faulty thought process, I'll often end up arguing with both sides of an argument because they are not well developed, they are hypocritical, they have a logical conclusion that conflicts with the premise of their position and/or they commit the crime of emotional/political bias and I feel like it's my responsibility to help them see how their thought process is faulty/interfered with.
Anyway it alienates people because you're not on their 'team'. Their thought processes are weak they think numbers=truth, if they can find somebody who agrees with them=truth, they can't see bias in themselves easily.

They can't even see the bias these days while they are pointing out supposed white racial biases.

I just don't respect the skill of politics, social game playing, even marketing as a discipline (although if I believe in a product for actual reasons, I could market it very passionately).

I'm quite capable of discussing the other side of a passionate view with anybody, except I just feel frustrated or annoyed if they see it as conflict or argument and will bail on them or point out their ****** argumentative skills on the way out, such as trying to paint me into having a position that I don't actually have. (Because their brain can't work out that somebody could see flaws in their argument without being on the 'opposing team'.)

One of my goals (before even considering that I could have this 'aspergers' way of thinking ) this year was to not engage in any of this time wasting stuff with muppets obsessed with being on a team.

This is my first post, feel free to PM me if this resonates with anybody because I am very new to the possibility of being able to get an Aspergers diagnosis.

this is very similar to my brother (not an aspie) he is very keen on the study of critical thinking, philosophy etc. and thus he is very argumentative, he hates it when others arguments are badly thought out with flaws and will continue to argue excessively until his viewpoint is accepted (as you can imagine this pisses many people off, as often their is no convincing people as they don't look at the facts of an argument and derive their position from emotion and self righteous and are too stubborn to change viewpoint). as i said he is not an aspie so while im sure many aspies are like this being like this does not make you an aspie. i feel very strongly that peoples personality should be separate from their views and opinions (i find this rarely the case), that way you can easily change your opinion if proven wrong (we should all be comfortable doing this regularly) without changing your personality which is fundamentally more difficult to change. if you want to be more knowledgeable you have to be wrong most of the time.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

oh and i forgot to mention TK85 welcome to the forum hope all goes well and you find the answers you are looking for.

 

[NovaScotia Aspie]

Yes, you are definitely on the Aspie side. Aspies are too smart to waste their time arguing. Aspies want to explore, learn, discuss, and find solutions. Arguing is in direct contrast of an Aspies aspirations, pun fully intended.

I hate confrontations, confrontations with aggressive people make me take several steps back and at no time am I interested in confrontations. I have a hate of people that love to argue, that love to confront others.

To me there is nothing worse than a confrontational person.

I agree with this . I spend a lot of time on message boards but because I don't like to argue I generally just read what others are saying . I used to post a lot on hockey message boards but those are particularly argumentive and I like to stay out of it . I do believe it definitely is an Aspie trait that hasn't always helped me socially . There were times in my life that I should have been confrontational with someone as they were taking advantage .

 

[TK85]

Hey thanks Johnathon that's really useful to know cheers for the insight.
I've read a fair bit on philosophy and seem very hard wired to only be interested in what is 'true'. I don't know enough other people like that to know what fits in where. Or maybe I do and have only just started to realise how dominant that part of my personality is.
I do feel like most of it is hard wired, and I wondered whether the physical clumsiness aspect to a diagnosis talks about is due to self-selection bias.
At the moment I'm leaning towards having a very wide associative horizon but I've not spent a lot of time thinking about any of this kind of thing before.