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Are you an under achiever?

Jimbo

Jimbo

Well-Known Member
Since I have discovered that I am an aspie and taken all these IQ tests showing my brain actually works much better than my school teachers thought, I am beginning to realize I could probably do much more with my life.

Don't get me wrong, I have some accomplishments like running my own carpet cleaning business, adopting a daughter,becoming a Methodist layspeaker. But I think there is much more I am capable of but fear has held me back. I never went to college because it would have been too much social for me and didn't do good on those stupid sat tests.

I guess I fear getting out of my comfort zone and don't do things because I might mess up.

Anybody else feel this way?
 
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Yes, I feel exactly that way. Aspergers is a blessing and a curse. But, since being diagnosed, it's somewhat of a relief to know there are others in the same boat and that there is a name for it.
 
I feel like I let everyone down. Everyone used to (and still does) tell me how smart I was, how I was going to be successful. I used to be excited about the future. But I have a faulty personality, prone to giving up or starting over. At least, that's why I think I underachieve. And if you didn't pick it up, I also am extremely pessimistic. Pretty much all of the qualities that make someone a loser without any success or future.

I've failed math classes twice and might be doing it again (and if I do, I'll only have one more chance to make it up before I leave high school). And you can't even get an arts degree without advanced math of some sort.
 
granolaturtle said:
I feel like I let everyone down. Everyone used to (and still does) tell me how smart I was, how I was going to be successful. I used to be excited about the future. But I have a faulty personality, prone to giving up or starting over.
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Not unlike my own experience. I scored very highly on my SAT, was in top 10% of my highschool class (inconsistency and lack of interest did me in) yet I completely bombed my first attempt at college. I did not fit in. Tried two more times and lost interest in trying. Then I was diagnosed with Asperger's, which explains a lot. I lose interest in the things that seem important to the majority of people. I have strong, lifelong interests, I have been able to patch together a career based on the skills and knowledge gained by my interests, but I'm not really going anywhere with it, I am unable to see how I could really capitalize on them, and would most likely choose not to if I could. Pays the bills though. While old friends who were always so amazed at how smart, insightful and inventive I was now look at me and think "what the hell happened to him?"
 
I didn't reach many of the 'milestones' that other people my age normally reach - I don't have children, I don't have a career and don't earn nearly as much money as most my age, despite having a postgraduate degree.
 
Not sure yet how to quote TimBob, just this: Degradation in executive functioning as we age.

Do you have more info or links on this please, thanks, Clint.
 
After reading the above replies it got me thinking. Maybe I spend too much time comparing my life to others. Especially with Facebook. Your friends constantly post how wonderful their lives are and it starts a comparison game.

Maybe many of us are content right where we are. I am fairly content with my achievements but often wonder if I am capable of more.
 
Quite often, yes. I left school with D and E's, I did manage to correct some of those with further education, I got a C is GCSE Maths later at college and passed albeit barely with a BTEC National Diploma in ICT. I've yet to pass a driving test. I compare myself to my peers from school and college and I feel so left behind in a swirling chaos that is my life. I've wanted to go to university but I'm not sure if I could manage. I've had such a poor track record of doing homework on time, always leaving it to the last minute, I just don't know if I can cope with that much organisation.
 
Jimbo said:
I am beginning to realize I could probably do much more with my life.
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This thought is exactly what percipitated my last breakdown. Like others here I have watched my peers pass me by, reaching various milestones while I am stuck in dead end jobs and still living with my parents. Despite this people always tell me how smart and/or talented I am, and to an extent I know they are correct.

This only makes it more infuriating when I try to achieve something and find myself unable to get myself organized, or even move myself to action rather than merely obsessing over what I should be doing. Over the past decade I have gone to college three times. Each time I had a nervous breakdown. The last time I tried I actually managed to graduate with respectable marks, but it was an easy and unstimulating one year program that ultimately proved to be a waste of my time and money.

The frustrating part is that I know I possess the raw intelect to succeed. I know I am not a genius, but if I could just apply myself rather than having breakdowns I could achieve so much more.
 
Datura said:
This thought is exactly what percipitated my last breakdown. Like others here I have watched my peers pass me by, reaching various milestones while I am stuck in dead end jobs and still living with my parents. Despite this people always tell me how smart and/or talented I am, and to an extent I know they are correct.

This only makes it more infuriating when I try to achieve something and find myself unable to get myself organized, or even move myself to action rather than merely obsessing over what I should be doing. Over the past decade I have gone to college three times. Each time I had a nervous breakdown. The last time I tried I actually managed to graduate with respectable marks, but it was an easy and unstimulating one year program that ultimately proved to be a waste of my time and money.

The frustrating part is that I know I possess the raw intelect to succeed. I know I am not a genius, but if I could just apply myself rather than having breakdowns I could achieve so much more.
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Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble. Hopefully you will find something you can succeed in. Sometimes it may take some trial and error. I finally figured out a business I could do well in. I tried a few businesses and finally settled on starting a carpet cleaning business. It has worked out good for 11 years but it took awhile to figure out what I would be good at and enjoy doing without a lot of stress and anxiety.
 
kestrel said:
an uneven-achiever
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That is a perfect description. My inconsistency throughout life has been mystifying, but I do know that I only have so much energy to put into something, so even if it is something I enjoy and/or am having success with it, I will at some point drift off or abandon completely.
 
Yep....you are in good company. I could get an award for being an under-achiever if they gave them ^_^ I think to myself a lot, the things I could be doing, but my fear and general insecurity always get in the way.
 
I'm an underachiever for sure... and only when free of the existing structures, I actually manage to get things done to a certain level that's worth noting. I pretty much function exclusively to my own beat, both in terms of when I should function and how I should function.

It's funny though, since it means for education and/or employment I'd only fit for the simplest thing possible. Lowest level education and low responsibility manual labor jobs. But usually after having a chat with me they all realize I'm way too clever for any of that and more than once people who would be supervising me for said jobs were like "there must be a mix up, since I don't know how you'd be suitable for just this" and thus the problem of not getting hired has, more than once, been the fact that employers didn't want to hire me cause they couldn't offer me a challenge suitable to my mental functioning fearing depression and me looking for another job instead as contributing factors.

Yeah.. and schools... I've adddressed it more than once here on the board, but let's just say, signicant results and my high school diploma stem from attending adult high school when I was in my early 20's, attending school on my own terms and attending when I wanted (which came down to me attending school about 2 hours a month or so... just doing the exams, barely attending any classes) and I was pretty much a straight A student there.

I'm noticing that, ever since I'm not working or in school for the past, almost 4 years now, I've learned a lot more about myself, learned things I like to learn and feel I function more like I want to function, rather than this odd dictate on what I should do... in a sense I'm growing a lot more to full potential in my current situation, even if it doesn't come to fruition as such in terms of a paycheck and all.. (yet; who knows where it will lead and if it will lead to financial gain, at least I'm not feeling my life is being dumbed down)
 
I've never failed at anything...unfortunately I've never had the opportunity to fail [or succeed]
 
As I have gotten older now. I find myself asking the ultimate big question. What is achievement? What is the ultimate goal? You step back and look at the big picture of human history and you gotta ask yourself. What are we working for. You're born, you move some earth around, and you die.

So ya! I'm an underachiever. But it's not because the goals are unreachable. Ive always believed that "if there's a will, there's a way.". For me. It's a question of, is achieving the goal worth the trouble. I've work my ass off to achieve some goals out there. Only to find out that they are not what I wanted or expected.
 
Cosmically speaking I may view what may constitute "achievements" in a very different way.

That it's not about things that might have given me deep satisfaction or pride, but something else. A lifetime of social struggle that permeates nearly every aspect of my life. Not that I ever overcame this struggle, but rather that I existed with it for a very long time.

That it's some kind of "life experience" that my soul on another plane of existence will treasure for eternity. In essence, I believe this is why I am here and by my own soul's design. I never promised me a rose garden! :eek:

Relationships, work, possessions and status? IMO, in "the big picture" I suspect they carry little meaning for me in this particular life. That my struggle and unhappiness has great meaning beyond this temporary plane of existence.

That all said, I think I'd like my next life to be very different. Probably entailing just another form of struggle of some kind.
 
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FreeDiver said:
As I have gotten older now. I find myself asking the ultimate big question. What is achievement? What is the ultimate goal? You step back and look at the big picture of human history and you gotta ask yourself. What are we working for. You're born, you move some earth around, and you die.

So ya! I'm an underachiever. But it's not because the goals are unreachable. Ive always believed that "if there's a will, there's a way.". For me. It's a question of, is achieving the goal worth the trouble. I've work my ass off to achieve some goals out there. Only to find out that they are not what I wanted or expected.
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I love this, couldn't have said it better myself.
 
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