JohnDoeeoDnhoJ
New Member
Ill get straight to the point but first, some context. Basically I have a friend of mine who is autistic. he also happens to be religious and i was also religious but am not anymore. im also bi. when i told him that i wasn't religious anymore he, at first, seemed fine with it but then threatened to tell my parents. i immediately got mad because i was expecting that reaction and it actually happened. later on that night i told him i was joking. 2 weeks go by and i bring up the topic again and he literally lied and said that him threatening to tell my very religious parents i wasn't religious was just to see if i was actually religious or not. at that point i took his lie and then came clean that i wasn't actually religious. he got mad, surprise, and kept harassing me about how he wanted to bring me back to being religious so i got pissed. more than anything it seemed that he was more worried about himself going to hell because he thought that he could've somehow had an influence on me. 2 weeks go by, and because he realised i was bitter about what happened, he apologised. honestly i first felt relief but then still felt mad because to me it seemed like he only apologised just so he can still be on good terms with me and not because he actually felt bad about harassing and threatening me for his own selfish reasons. he also happens to be homophobic or atleast according to him, he isn't anymore because he made a new years resolution to be kinder to everyone regardless if he agrees with them or not. i don't know if i should believe it because the thing with him is that he doesn't seem very genuine in the way he speaks atleast to me anyway. he also gets attached to me as well even though ive had countless falling outs with him. he also seems immature in some ways compared to other people our age. another problem i have is that a lot of the stuff is easily swayed by what the majority says. he also has some anti-pc opinions that border on selfish (like how when women talk about the amount of rapes that happen against them, he'll feel attacked because he thinks thats an attack on his gender and chirp on about rapes against men.). Another thing i don't like is how he will only change his toxic behaviour because he sees that I'm effected by it and won't be able to see his fault otherwise. for example, if i say how bad rape culture is against women, he'll keep lashing back with 'but what about men that get raped'. this will put me off of talking to him and only when he notices this is when he changes his view on why rape culture is bad against women. he changes views because of me and not because he feels bad for the female victims of rape. this seems very disingenuous to me. he feels guilty for hurting me but not what he should be feeling guilty for. that puts me off further. He also sees me as a close friend even though I really don't since I can't trust him fully and the stuff he's done in the past. I think disregarding his autism, he's had a history of being toxic. admittedly, I have also been a complete asshole to him in the past for selfish reasons too, you could even say I'm being unreasonable with making the assumptions I am or just paranoid and if you think I am please let me know. I also later on told him that i converted back to being religious because i just didn't trust him. he has no clue im bisexual. the reason why i dont wanna tell him is cus his parents are good friends with my own, so if i tell him, that can easily get to my parents if he isn't trustworthy. he does have some good sides too, he seems like he cares for his friends a lot but at the same time I have a very hard time fully trusting most things he says or does. What do I do? what advice do you have for me that I can use? I don't mind how harsh your words are even if they are towards me i just need some advice on how to deal with this situation.