I just need to write. I've felt pretty up and down this week. Extreme extremes, as well as moments of extreme wellbeing, moments of extreme ailienation and frustration, moments of extreme anxiety and terrible grief, and increased connectedness and comfort.
Oh well, I guess it's good in that, my life is never boring.
I am coming to terms with a total reinvention of myself, well, not total, I'm still a mum of 7 people, but only one left at home with me, I still have the same values and I'm me. I'm still a creatively inclined person, but whereas I used to sing and compose music all the time, I now write and paint and I am interested in learning to sculpt and make ceramics and paper ceramics. I used to be a lot more social and outwardly political, but now, I'm scared to go out and be me, even more than I used to be.
I have always been a big reader, and interested in human sciences and social sciences, but now, I have started moving towards learning to craft things and learning about more practical earth sciences. Well I say practical, I have always been practical in lots of human centred practises, food prep, nurturing, health DIY, like massage, nutrition, herbs, psychology, advocacy and parenting, but having given up on "fitting in" in terms of finding a paid position or attending the uni course I was doing, I am turning to hand crafting arts and horticulture, writing more and exploring visual art development.
Developing my skills and being creative and learning new things is what lifts my spirits.
Oh well, I guess it's good in that, my life is never boring.
I am coming to terms with a total reinvention of myself, well, not total, I'm still a mum of 7 people, but only one left at home with me, I still have the same values and I'm me. I'm still a creatively inclined person, but whereas I used to sing and compose music all the time, I now write and paint and I am interested in learning to sculpt and make ceramics and paper ceramics. I used to be a lot more social and outwardly political, but now, I'm scared to go out and be me, even more than I used to be.
I have always been a big reader, and interested in human sciences and social sciences, but now, I have started moving towards learning to craft things and learning about more practical earth sciences. Well I say practical, I have always been practical in lots of human centred practises, food prep, nurturing, health DIY, like massage, nutrition, herbs, psychology, advocacy and parenting, but having given up on "fitting in" in terms of finding a paid position or attending the uni course I was doing, I am turning to hand crafting arts and horticulture, writing more and exploring visual art development.
Developing my skills and being creative and learning new things is what lifts my spirits.
