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The frustration of not getting "it"

You know. "It". That thing. The abstract idea. The Full Set.

The ability to be understanding and social just like all the rest.

"It"

The thing that makes you able to have friends. And the ability to make them.

The abilty to think beyond laterally.

It.

****ing hell.

Doesn't help that my mom (who I live with out of nessesity and love) has taken a passive stance to my aspurgers.

"You'll grow out of it"

And every day that I don't she gets more irritated with me.

As if I'm SUPOSSED TO CHANGE OVER NIGHT

GONNA BE A DAMN MIRICILE EH MA?

"it"

It's stopped me from getting jobs (My handwriting is terrible). It's stopped me from being more empathetic to a proper point (I feel for you completely or I dont get it). It's stopped me from being... normal.

"it"

****ing "it"

:banghead:

I've tried to explain that this won't happen soon to mom.

Hell I'll probably be 30+ before I finally get "it."

But no.

I'm on thin ice with her.

In danger of being tossed out.

Luckliy I'm in Jobcorps right now, so if i gotta leave I can and move out...

But I can't

I done the math and jobcorps resourses alone can't help my survive one stinkin day on my own. The ability to move out at the end of this all is just... A nice thought.

I feel like there's no way to save this with mom.

I feel like there is no way for me to survive out there.

I feel like thats it.

Game over.

And the fact I can't get ahold of anyone to confirm my aspergurs...

Fun.

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KcSpot
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