There are so many things I want to do, that I feel I need to do - so many projects. But I guess I view myself in different roles with respect to those projects. And I am better at fully indulging in one at a time, but for many hours at a time, and there aren't enough hours in the day....especially once I start working, there won't be. I want to lose weight, be fit. I want to keep a clean home. I want to spend time with my dog. I need to stay ontop of work materials for work. I want to read books to prep me for work as an Aspie. I want to read other self-improvement books. I want to engage in spiritual activities in my private life and read spiritual books, I also want to prep for spiritual activities with my community.
I used to manage stuff like this with a planner...then the planner started feeling overwhelming, restricting, like an intimidating tyrant. I don't like using it at all now, but I think I need to.
I feel like I'm viewing my life through a microscope, but somehow I have gotten onto the wrong power. Not sure how or why I got to this setting - there may have been a good reason. But I need to switch powers now so that I can focus in the correct way, see the correct layer on the slide of my life, or see it in the right way, so that I can have a better sense of control and calm and understanding - to be okay with it.
Also, thinking of these things as all individual/separate, and feeling I need to switch into different roles for the different goals makes it feel confusing and overwhelming. It's hard to integrate it all into a whole. Maybe I do need to become a slave to my planner and just adjust to that feeling.
Others say those on the spectrum need structure - I do...kind of....if I need to get something done on someone else's terms. But right now i struggle with any imposed structure, I just want everything to be unstructured and free for me. Obviously that won't work for when I start working again.
There is just so much that I want to do....and not enough hours to do it....and once I start work, it will seem there is even less of a chance....but of course, I need the job, that needs to be my top priority right now given my financial situation. My mind is circling right now.
I feel there is little progress. Or it's super slow. And all of it seems of equal importance.
Maybe I need to prioritize in terms of what would make me feel best, most confident.
I used to manage stuff like this with a planner...then the planner started feeling overwhelming, restricting, like an intimidating tyrant. I don't like using it at all now, but I think I need to.
I feel like I'm viewing my life through a microscope, but somehow I have gotten onto the wrong power. Not sure how or why I got to this setting - there may have been a good reason. But I need to switch powers now so that I can focus in the correct way, see the correct layer on the slide of my life, or see it in the right way, so that I can have a better sense of control and calm and understanding - to be okay with it.
Also, thinking of these things as all individual/separate, and feeling I need to switch into different roles for the different goals makes it feel confusing and overwhelming. It's hard to integrate it all into a whole. Maybe I do need to become a slave to my planner and just adjust to that feeling.
Others say those on the spectrum need structure - I do...kind of....if I need to get something done on someone else's terms. But right now i struggle with any imposed structure, I just want everything to be unstructured and free for me. Obviously that won't work for when I start working again.
There is just so much that I want to do....and not enough hours to do it....and once I start work, it will seem there is even less of a chance....but of course, I need the job, that needs to be my top priority right now given my financial situation. My mind is circling right now.
I feel there is little progress. Or it's super slow. And all of it seems of equal importance.
Maybe I need to prioritize in terms of what would make me feel best, most confident.
