I recall many of times throughout my adolescent years when I would sometimes feel normal, but other times I was a complete monster. I have never been the type to want to learn new things or for that matter, stop at whatever it was I was doing. Banging my head in the floor, flapping my hands (more so as a child), poorly developed motor skills, motor tics, sticking to only one or two interests that I have. Bringing all that to mind, my grandmother would always go around telling people about my interests making me feel embarrassed or just plain dumb. She did it so much that at one point, I would start calling her a liar right in front of whoever she was talking to. I too would swing and hit her once I hit puberty, cussing her under my breath and even wishing death on her.
I don't know personally if the anger is more of an Aspie trait or if it's simply a psychological issue. Until I get time off from work to get my official diagnosis, questions will continue to pop in my head.
Scary enough as it is with the tics, they continue to become more vocal along with the involuntary movements. I'm decent at drawing and something that I do along the lines of a tic, I will tilt my head off to the side. Does anyone else do this? Sometimes, I get so confused along the lines of social skills and my limited interests, I don't know how to talk to anyone about it. Luckily, I've found solace by being a member of this page. My social skills were never the best, but when it comes to people I think are nice and I've seen them in person more than once or twice...I don't meet a stranger.
My one close friend has always suspected there was something different about me as well. One being the fact that we never could understand each other very well. Two-he was always interested in things that never interested me, and finally...The staring issue. The first time I met him was my first day of high school. I didn't know him from Adam, and truthfully I didn't want to sit by him either, which is exactly what the teacher did to me. We talked a couple of times briefly after that and then I realized he was one of those that were less fortunate than most people in our area. Unemployment is 10:1 in my community so not many people can afford to send their kids to school with brand new clothes (which is the first thing I noticed about him).
I've been told throughout grade school and high school that I am rude. Most Aspies will probably agree with me when I say; "It's only my thought process. I cannot comprehend very well what is going on or being said, so if I don't agree, I will speak my mind." Truthfully, I speak before I think unless I'm writing about something that I really like. My senior project was a film critique which I did on Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight. In all honesty, though I consider my writing to be good, the teachers would always find a flaw of some sort which I didn't take very well. I've never been a fan of constructive criticism. I always take offense to most anything if it suggests I am not doing something correctly.
Thoughts, Questions, Comments? Let me know.