Another theme that seems to be repeating itself is that of Aspies seeking to feel accepted. Many feel rejected by partners, by family members, by classmates or other friends, in the workplace, by the wider society & by their culture. I was doing some reading when the thought occurred to me: that's a lot of rejection! Now, the shrinks of NT society inform us that we Aspies tend to be recluses. Some of indeed are true recluses BUT that word implies that a choice was made.
What seems to be happening is that many desperately want to be one half of a couple. Many would love to have a small circle of friends, or just to feel accepted & like a valued part of society. Many feel tolerated (sometimes barely) rather than accepted: a degrading experience at best. One Aspie here mentioned the possibility of accepting being treated as a second class citizen in his societal context. THAT was an example of how a person may feel overwhelmed by the prejudices of society, decide that it's just too pervasive to change & accept his place as a lesser person.
It doesn't take an expert to see how stressful, anxiety provoking & depressing this is. I'd argue that a possible majority of Aspies become reclusive by force! If one only feels accepted when wearing a disguise, is it worth it? One could argue that the NTs are also wearing an assortment of social masks. The difference is that the theatre, the masks & the accompanying scripts were written by & for them in their language. We have to make babbling noises we hope sound passably like their language.
I'm a recluse by choice. I don't really want to be accepted by society or any other group. I know I have the attitude many deaf & hard of hearing people have for the rest of society: they wish it no ill but don't want to become members of it. For Aspies that do, besides going in drag or contenting oneself with being 2nd class, what are the possible solutions that allow the Aspie to live in dignity?
What seems to be happening is that many desperately want to be one half of a couple. Many would love to have a small circle of friends, or just to feel accepted & like a valued part of society. Many feel tolerated (sometimes barely) rather than accepted: a degrading experience at best. One Aspie here mentioned the possibility of accepting being treated as a second class citizen in his societal context. THAT was an example of how a person may feel overwhelmed by the prejudices of society, decide that it's just too pervasive to change & accept his place as a lesser person.
It doesn't take an expert to see how stressful, anxiety provoking & depressing this is. I'd argue that a possible majority of Aspies become reclusive by force! If one only feels accepted when wearing a disguise, is it worth it? One could argue that the NTs are also wearing an assortment of social masks. The difference is that the theatre, the masks & the accompanying scripts were written by & for them in their language. We have to make babbling noises we hope sound passably like their language.
I'm a recluse by choice. I don't really want to be accepted by society or any other group. I know I have the attitude many deaf & hard of hearing people have for the rest of society: they wish it no ill but don't want to become members of it. For Aspies that do, besides going in drag or contenting oneself with being 2nd class, what are the possible solutions that allow the Aspie to live in dignity?
