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Aspie social rule book.

ThDude

Well-Known Member
Ok so I saw this on another aspie forum and It looks like a good idea.

What we do is post social rules that we have learned or are working on, and label them by number. This is ment to be like a rule book for us almost however not ment to always be taken seriously.

A rule I am learning now v
#1 when asked "how are you" a person is not actually interested in your well being 90% of the time. They expect a fine, or "can't complain" answer.

I'm struggling with that one.

#2 laugh if others are all laughing at a joke even if you don't find it funny.
 
It took me much to long to learn:

#3 When a girl says, "It's cold in here" it means she wants to cuddle.
 
That one still flys over my head.

#4 if your talking and someone walks away, don't keep following them and talking. They are trying to get away from you
 
Let me put this one out there:



#5 when people say they will "see ya later", they may not mean that same day so, don’t ask what time and where!

(Instead of saying "see you later" yourself, my parting comment has become either "see you some other time" or "I'll see you again")
 
I like this one :)

anyway, I'd like to add to the "how are you" thing:
say "I'm fine" or "I'm good" (which for some reason seems to be more appealing to some people even though it's not grammatically correct :) ) but also ask them "and how are you doing?" or " how are you?" or something like that, it seems that people who ask usually like being asked as well.

in Ireland (at least when I was there) "how are you" means "hi", don't say "I'm fine" to that; "cheers" means "thanks" (Irish folks are welcome to correct me :) )

#6 if your guest (not a date situation) states he/ she's cold, warm, thirsty or anything like that it usually means that you have to accommodate their needs or at least acknowledge them if you can't accommodate. (Let's say, turn on air conditioner, or give them something to drink). That's from a personal experience, believe it or not, I though a person was simply stating a fact by saying, "It's hot here". She actually wanted me to turn on air conditioner.

#7 apparently, and I'm learning new things about it every day, if you invite people in your house it's good to provide them with snacks and drinks (not necessarily alcoholic, it's better to provide them with non alcoholic beverages unless it's a party, evening gathering or when alcohol is mentioned somehow in an invitation) even if they come for a simple chat. If they don't feel like eating or drinking, it's fine, at least you'll be prepared if they do, and especially if they expect it from a host. This might not be applicable for every region though.

a few safety tips, which are not exactly 100% proven but might be useful, so I'm just going to put stars next to them:

* A few years ago I was a huge fan of "Cops" and similar shows, watched them all the time. In one of the shows some officer was talking about how to recognize a gang: a group of people standing at a location without an apparent purpose, dressed in the same or similar clothes and I'm not talking about Mormons here :) sorry :) they might wear baggy clothes that it not well recognizable, without easy to identify features (for instance white t-shirts and black pants, white hoodies and black pants, grey hoodies, some even use red color), they might be stocking something (like a car) or someone. The reason why I mentioned that is because when we moved to our "new" house I saw those kind groups of people quite a few times. In addition to that signs of increases gang activity can be indicated by occurrence of certain type of graffiti on, let's say, abandoned buildings. The only tip the the officer had is to lock all the doors and get out of the location as soon as possible without making eye contact. Reporting them to the police in many cases wouldn't have an immediate result but if local police have resources they might increase patrol in that area.

* If you see a suspicions car whether they present threat at the moment or not (by suspicious I mean, people are in the car, it doesn't belong to any of the neighbors or their friends and family, if someone gets out of the car and walks around seemingly without any specific purpose) report them to the police immediately, and if possible make a recording on a security camera. They might be stocking someone's house.

* (Usually for young women) When you are in a bar, with someone who you don't know very well or alone, do not leave your drink unattended or accept drinks from anyone.

* When a guy invites you home saying that you're just going to watch TV or drink some tea or whatever, especially if he's trying to accentuate it - he doesn't mean it. I didn't have to learn this one, but some girls, for some reason trust that, have no clue why. It's not true for every guy obviously, but it's always better to be on a safe side.

* this might sound a little racist, or nationalistic whatever, but I'm talking from personal experience. Guys from countries like Turkey, Egypt, Lebanon and places like that can be overly polite and nice to women, they might appear like perfect gentlemen. I've talked to many guys of those cultures, a couple of them tried to full me but in the end cracked. They have no respect towards women who are not of their culture, they usually only use other women for sex. And again it's not true for every one, I've knows 2 Turkish guys who were married to women not from their culture and had, what to us would be, regular families. It's always good to know where the person stands culture and religion wise, believing in "how beautiful you are", in all the flowers and diamonds and what not might not be a good idea.

* I've also learned that if a person have a certain look in their eyes, certain expression on their face - you can not trust them, they usually have something to do with some sort of criminal activity, but I don't think I can clearly describe this one, if I find a way, I'll do. And, no, I haven't seen that kind of expression on anybody's faces here yet :D

* One more thing, almost forgot, when you hear loud scream outside (when, let's say you're inside the house) ALWAYS carefully look out of the window even if you think those are just teenagers fulling around. Last weekend I heard screaming early in the morning, but didn't react right away, thought drunken teenagers again, it was a huge fire across the street, I called 911, fire trucks were there within the time they usually come (about a minute or so, we have fire station nearby) based on that it might be that nobody or almost nobody called 911 before that. House burned down to the ground despite of all the efforts, there were jumping electric wires that was probably hard to get under control..., it's good that people were able to get out safely but they did loose everything.

I think this is it for now... :)
 
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a little correction to my post "fool" not "full" :)
(in "this might sound a little racist, or nationalistic whatever, but I'm talking from personal experience. Guys from countries like Turkey, Egypt, Lebanon and places like that can be overly polite and nice to women, they might appear like perfect gentlemen. I've talked to many guys of those cultures, a couple of them tried to full me but in the end cracked. They have no respect towards women who are not of their culture, they usually only use other women for sex. And again it's not true for every one, I've knows 2 Turkish guys who were married to women not from their culture and had, what to us would be, regular families. It's always good to know where the person stands culture and religion wise, believing in "how beautiful you are", in all the flowers and diamonds and what not might not be a good idea.")
 
Ok, "stalking" not "stocking" :) if I read my post a few more times I will definitely find tons of other mistakes...damn it, hopefully it's still clear enough, yes... I hate making mistakes, what can I do? :)
And to be fair, apparently I can't even use the term in that sentence... I know, nobody probably cares about this besides me, that's why I should stop writing now and move on :D
 
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epath13, I may have noticed your smelling pisstakes but I overlook them as I think you could be on the spectrum LOL
No, I think we all have trouble spelling because the fingers on the keyboard can’t go as fast as the thoughts through the brain ; ]

That brings me back to the list:

#8 Try not to always correct the grammar or speech of everyone who talks to you, if they’ve misspoke it usually doesn’t help if you’re pointing it out!
 
#9 correcting anyone about just about anything is not a good idea.

I have a problem with this, perfection can never be so, but we can try.
 
#11 people don't really want the truth, they can't handle the truth. Now that's not saying we should lie all the time, but most people would rather them be lied to then their egos hurt.

#12 it does not matter if a person(girls) is 700 pounds and on a turbo charged hover round scooter, if they ask you if you think they are fat the answer is always "no"
 
Looks like nobody wanted to do it, so here goes nothing, number 13 and it is befitting of the number too!

#13 If you’re ever going to say something about somebody, be aware that you should always be prepared to say that same thing to that persons face...
 
#14 If someone repeatedly borrows money (or other things repeatedly) from you every time you get your paycheck (Even if they pay it back within days) it doesn't mean they're close to you, or that they value your friendship, it means they're simply using you because they know you'll give them the money every time.


This is something that was happening to me repeatedly for months. THe person in question returned the money religiously within days, but when my dad found out, he flipped. He sat me down and pointed out how the woman is using me because she knows I'll loan her the money. He pointed out how she had money for a shopping trip the day before and a cinema trip the night before that and how she doesn't budget, cause she knows she can just loan from me. My dad has taught me a lot of social rules and stuff
 
#15 Don’t ever bite off more than you can chew, that's both literally and figuratively speaking!
 
#16 When your date asks you if you'd like a mint, don't say "No thanks, I'm fine" because clearly you're not fine. You have bad breath, and your date is attempting to be subtle.
 
#17 In Australia if you say, "Are you taking the piss?" or "You're taking the piss, aren't you?", it means, "You're joking, aren't you?".
But if you say this to someone from the UK, they see it as picking a fight - a personal insult.
 

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