Hi
@Annaa, hope you're well this week, feeling a bit better and brighter (or at least, not so bad) and that if you've returned to class then it's going ok. School can be a tricky, stressful and confusing environment to handle for ASD people, so you're doing the right thing putting your mental health first. If and when you're ready, let us know how you're getting on.
As to your question, I want to say first off that the critical point to take away from all this, even if you ignore everything else we've said, is that
what you want and feel matters most. How do
you feel about
him, beyond all the superficial niceties
? Does he give you a good clean vibe? Does he make your heart feel light or heavy? How do you feel mood-wise after a conversation or encounter with him? Is it exciting or anxiety-spiking to be around him? Is he someone you could see yourself alone with? Would you trust him to take care of your pet or little sibling (if you have one)?
I say all this, to let you know
it doesn't matter if he likes you or not, if he wants your friendship or something else, if you don't like or want him as well. You are the one who possesses your own feelings, and putting yourself first in matters of the heart are essential. It may feel flattering or like a refreshing change to have anyone deeply interested in you and asking after you at all, especially if you may be lonely at school, but this doesn't mean you have to accept attention from just anyone who bothers to look your way. You are worth so much, and you have a right and the power to pick and choose on whom you spend time or emotion.
I want you to know this relationship dynamic is in your power to dictate, the ball is in your court. Take some time for yourself to figure out what if anything you want out of it, and on what terms. Because if you do want a relationship beyond friendly collegiate acquaintanceship, then it will benefit you and this boy to know what the boundaries, expectations, and deal-breakers are. I know that probably sounds heavy and like a lot of intimidating work, but we're trying to keep your safety in mind here.
As for this guy you're wondering about, he does in some way sound interested in or by you, that's for certain. As other posters have wisely said, though, at your ages and in your situation, it's difficult to glean the reason why without having confirmation. It's a pity that people aren't like Sims, with flashing diamonds above their heads to tell us how they feel and what they're truly after!
At this point in life, this boy you're dealing with has likely not had much experience with women or dating (if he has already, I would probably curve him), so he's feeling out what he should do or say to get and keep their attention. From how he's been acting with you, it doesn't sound like he's into any disturbing PUA (that's Pick Up Artist) or MGTOW mentalities, which is a good sign.
However, as
@jsilver256 ,
@Aspychata and
@Cryptid point out, he may be using sweetness as a bait, to hook girls on whom he can switch up afterwards. A lot of young men & boys these days have minds that are sadly saturated by p0rn and by older men with damaging ideologies instructing them in very inhumane ways to act.
This is very sound advice:
His ideal romance might look a lot different than yours. If you have boundaries in a relationship, be prepared to defend them.
It basically means that if he tries to push or coerce you into anything you're not sure about, then the word "no" with no explanation is your best friend. Don't be afraid to decline anything or walk away or cut off contact/block if you feel discomfort that's beyond nervous excitement. A bad vibe is a warning sign that needs to be listened to and honoured. This lad being kind and gentle to you for a while, whether a few days or a full school term, is nice, but
it doesn't mean you owe him anything. Your heart and your body are very precious and belong to you, make sure you treat them as such.
Respectfully, I would challenge this comment:
It’s very common for NT guys to separate love, lust, and friendship in ways you might not ever understand. But the fact that he has not asked you out yet or been ‘inappropriate’ most likely means he’s probably a decent guy.
Imo
all guys tend to separate love from lust from friendship--even some 'player'-type Shane McCutcheon women do (I'm a bi female, so I've met a few).
'Decency' as a trait is in how we treat people with no expectation of return or reciprocation or reward, and until you know what this boy really wants, it's best not to assume intentions.
And 'going steady' culture hasn't been common or a social norm for decades now. Asking people out formally seems almost quaint. For the age group of the OP and for the times we're living in, I'm not sure it signifies much one way or another if this lad hasn't made an official overture. Most teens are too awkward to do this, anyhow.
He also once told me that he wouldn't want me to go, like a dude in my class said as a joke he wouldn't care if I committed suicide I mean it was really unprovoked that's just that dudes humor he didn't actually mean it so don't worry.
I hear you, that this lad in your class who told this 'joke' has a dark sense of humour. Even still, it's a very unkind and damaging thing to say out loud to another person, and you would be within your rights to be upset with him, to expect an apology or to want to avoid him. It's a covert form of psychological bullying (I've been through it too, a long time ago--actually from a boy in highschool), and he really shouldn't be behaving like this.
What's more, talking in the way he does indicates he himself may be going through something. I wonder if anyone's flagged this to a teacher or authority figure? This is a sidebar and not related to your question, though.
