• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

I am losing interest in writing film reviews.

Metalhead

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
Fifteen years ago, I had a website that I treated like a second job. I would get all the latest releases on DVD from Netflix while watching most of the new releases at the cinemas. Those were fun times. I also maintained a job and went to the gym daily. I was 70lbs lighter in those days.

Everybody supported my website except for my mother, who attacked it on every imaginable angle. She intentionally made plans for me every Friday night because she knew I was advertising that I would post new content on my website every Friday night. She got really vicious when I kept on telling her no.

Eventually, alcohol became more important to me than the website, and that was why I shut it down - because I could afford to keep it up or I could buy some bourbon, but I could not afford both. My mother told me she was proud of me for being a responsible adult and giving up on my dreams. My site had 2,500 reviews written over the course of a decade. All of that is forever gone.

So I am not too terribly enthusiastic about building up a massive library of reviews again.
 
We could really have a long pity party. Sorry about your loss, we got the wrong parents.
 
Did you by any chance look at the Wayback Machine or the Internet Archive to see if a copy of at least some of the reviews is on their servers?

I am sorry I do not know how to empathize as well as I ought here; I've never lost a 15-year project to something like. It must have been pretty awful if movie reviews are now reminiscent of that other situation.
 
Gerontius said:
Did you by any chance look at the Wayback Machine or the Internet Archive to see if a copy of at least some of the reviews is on their servers?

I am sorry I do not know how to empathize as well as I ought here; I've never lost a 15-year project to something like. It must have been pretty awful if movie reviews are now reminiscent of that other situation.
Click to expand...
My old site is no longer on Wayback Machine or the Internet Archive. All that writing is gone for good.

I must live with this regret for the rest of my life. I gave up a dream because of my mother’s nonstop complaining about it and because Jim Beam was more important to me at that time.
 
JB helped you tolerate the abuse you suffered, effectively numbed you. The one thing l noticed, is l am quick to notice abuse, and abusive situations now. Have you ever thought about becoming a counselor?
 
I wish I could have my old life back, with the job that worked for me, the endless movie watching and reviewing, the gym membership, before I got put on drugs that made me gain 70lbs in six months while my mother kept on insisting I should not see a doctor about how Rispirdal was screwing with me, I should try harder to keep the weight off.


Extreme anger extreme regret.
 
I hate my life and I wish it would end in a way that I would not be condemned for committing the one unforgivable sin.
 
What's happening with the friend who was going to help you get a new site up and running? Is this something you are still interested in?

It's hard to read about your lost work. Very sad. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so badly right now. I hope you can emerge from this phase with some new optimism and focus on how you could live a healthy and fulfilling life.
 
I can only hope you can find something to make you happy again. But I'd not let your mother's past actions get to you. She doesn't deserve to be apart of your life in any capacity for her kind of sick treatment toward you.

Metalhead said:
proud of me for being a responsible adult and giving up on my dreams.
Click to expand...

This is the words of a mentally sick individual. Someone who despises your success on any level.
 
Oddly, I just started back doing some for our local production crew that is back together. Building up the social media footprint, basically. Also, oddly, 15 years ago I was still writing for one quality house what would end up the summaries on the backs of DVD's. Just like you, a lot was going on with a quite narcissistic person that made it hard to enjoy and think clear enough of the films I would watch and want to review. I was emotionally affected, and I started to see that my reviews were, as well. I stepped away from it to focus on other areas and more script polishes, but being in specifically genre projects, the emotions tugging at me helped.

Just the same, don't give up what you truly love. If anything, see if you can find your way back to it and enjoying it as you once did. There's always room for true reviews of films because the bulk of what's out there is just hate, misinterpretations or someone trying to get popular by being sensational or over the top. Meh to those folks. I prefer intelligence, a mind that's an obvious film study and just actual substance. I hope you can get back to it.
 
The most important thing you can do now is to leave all that behind and think forward. Because if you let those things from years ago mess with you now, it will screw things up for you. Again. It's not easy but I think it really is what you need to do. It would be a shame if bad things from the past, a long time ago, makes you fail now. The things your mother did, the site, the job, these are things that are behind you, you need to look forward and make something else work.

I also have some regrets and old things that keeps me from moving forward sometimes. So I'm not really in a position to say "just do this". I know it's difficult. But I also know the past can't be changed and it's such a shame when the past makes our lives miserable now. It's so important to let it go.
 
Last edited:
I know how you feel to an extent. I lost about a dozen books I wrote and haven't felt like writing since.
 
Bringing back the C&H obsession I thought I had recently recovered from.
notfilename.png


The best thing I have done for my creativity... I stopped trying to be creative. I went to go focus on other area's of life. I drew inspiration from the life I was living, devoid of intent of inspiring for creative works.

You can't force it.
Be ready for when the drive, and creativity return, but until it does return, go live.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom