Hello.
My name is Sarah and I am 35 years old and I come from Germany.
I haven't been diagnosed yet but many people in my environment tell me that I am an Asperger.
At first I wouldn't believe it.
Yes I have ADD but after researching what Asperger's is, I started to believe them.
I grew up knowing I was different and didn't really fit in anywhere.
I always felt from another planet and people told me that.
I never really had friends.
I always played alone or read books on end, or listened to music, or drew pictures or wrote my own stories.
I had tendrums ( I don't know if that is the right word ) as a kid and always felt misunderstood.
Other kids bullied me or pretended to be friends just to lure me into a corner and to hit and kick and spit on me.
I also had a few traumatic experiences in my childhood.
I cant stand the inside of a paprika ( the seeds ) it is disgusting for me, just like many tiny things gathered together. ( just the thought of it is ugh for me ) I guess it is my phobia ( Thrypophobia ).
I have always been sensitive to light ( I hate summer because first of all it is to hot and to warm ( and for me it is a torture because during summer I can't hide my body so well because I am fat, which is not my fault it has to do with my thyroid but doctors in this ****** little village don't give a **** about people just about what they can earn. so they diagnosed my thyroid but don't really treat it with the right amount or does of the meds, aka, they never regularly check my thyroid ). The sun makes me tired and makes me run around with almost closed eyes because I can't stand it.
This I can think I have been sensitive to noises. I could never really stand when people yelled at each other and most of all when they yelled at me. When I go to my training in the next bigger city I have to go to the big train station ( Cologne ) and it really hurts my ears. I cant stand it so I listen to music. I can't stand it when people especially my neighbors who are living above me stomp around like a marching band or when their kid jumps and stomps and screams. it is horrible for me. I can't sleep because the kid won't go to bed before 12 in the night ( which I find is a real no go, kids should be in bed around 8 ( at least ). Then they listen to loud Techno ( I love music it relaxed me but not Techno, that can't be called music, it gives me headache and makes me feel all nervous and it makes me aggressive and makes me wanna smash everything next to me ), with the bass turned up as high as possible so that everything vibrates and shakes in my apartment.I really hate it. Sometimes i think they do their jumping and stomping and Techno crap on purpose just to anger me. I never really have my peace. I need to learn so much for my training and I always tell them to take care a bit, but they simply don't give a ****. ( Assies we call such people in Germany, people who give a **** about others and who think the world belong to them and they can do whatever they wanna do and everybody has to take care of them but they give a **** about other ). It is really unbearable. But they don't understand. Ignorant stupid people.
Then I have the thing that i can only eat yogurts with plastic spoon. I don't like the feeling of metal neither in my mouth nor on my hands.
I talk very fast when i get excited about a subject.
My intelligence drops to almost non existing when I am nervous and and afraid.
I hate it when people ( even my so called friends ) touch me or wanna hug me.
I can't stand certain smells. ( For example the odor of some people, especially during summer ugh ). I need very long time when I do grocery shopping because I can never decide and when people push me it is even worse.
I have my rituals when somebody interrupts me doing them I get nervous and angry and have to do them all over again, from the beginning.
At night I lock all my doors and I have to check if I turned of everything, otherwise I can't sleep quietly. I need two hours to fall asleep ( a doctor once told me because I think to much and that my brain is constantly thinking and working and that that is the reason why I cant fall asleep and why my sleep is the tightest ). Right now my neighbors are being very disrespectful again and right now I think they are doing it on purpose, and right now I wish i could open my mouth and yell at them. Because that is something I can't do either, telling people what I feel and all that.
I don't have a big selfestem. My best friends says : Where there should be a selfestem who have less then 1% of a selfestem.
Well I guess I talked to much now ( another thing I have, if I start writing I can't stop.)
Sorry for having bothered you with my story, I hope you don't mind.
There is a lot more but that would be to much to type down.
My name is Sarah and I am 35 years old and I come from Germany.
I haven't been diagnosed yet but many people in my environment tell me that I am an Asperger.
At first I wouldn't believe it.
Yes I have ADD but after researching what Asperger's is, I started to believe them.
I grew up knowing I was different and didn't really fit in anywhere.
I always felt from another planet and people told me that.
I never really had friends.
I always played alone or read books on end, or listened to music, or drew pictures or wrote my own stories.
I had tendrums ( I don't know if that is the right word ) as a kid and always felt misunderstood.
Other kids bullied me or pretended to be friends just to lure me into a corner and to hit and kick and spit on me.
I also had a few traumatic experiences in my childhood.
I cant stand the inside of a paprika ( the seeds ) it is disgusting for me, just like many tiny things gathered together. ( just the thought of it is ugh for me ) I guess it is my phobia ( Thrypophobia ).
I have always been sensitive to light ( I hate summer because first of all it is to hot and to warm ( and for me it is a torture because during summer I can't hide my body so well because I am fat, which is not my fault it has to do with my thyroid but doctors in this ****** little village don't give a **** about people just about what they can earn. so they diagnosed my thyroid but don't really treat it with the right amount or does of the meds, aka, they never regularly check my thyroid ). The sun makes me tired and makes me run around with almost closed eyes because I can't stand it.
This I can think I have been sensitive to noises. I could never really stand when people yelled at each other and most of all when they yelled at me. When I go to my training in the next bigger city I have to go to the big train station ( Cologne ) and it really hurts my ears. I cant stand it so I listen to music. I can't stand it when people especially my neighbors who are living above me stomp around like a marching band or when their kid jumps and stomps and screams. it is horrible for me. I can't sleep because the kid won't go to bed before 12 in the night ( which I find is a real no go, kids should be in bed around 8 ( at least ). Then they listen to loud Techno ( I love music it relaxed me but not Techno, that can't be called music, it gives me headache and makes me feel all nervous and it makes me aggressive and makes me wanna smash everything next to me ), with the bass turned up as high as possible so that everything vibrates and shakes in my apartment.I really hate it. Sometimes i think they do their jumping and stomping and Techno crap on purpose just to anger me. I never really have my peace. I need to learn so much for my training and I always tell them to take care a bit, but they simply don't give a ****. ( Assies we call such people in Germany, people who give a **** about others and who think the world belong to them and they can do whatever they wanna do and everybody has to take care of them but they give a **** about other ). It is really unbearable. But they don't understand. Ignorant stupid people.
Then I have the thing that i can only eat yogurts with plastic spoon. I don't like the feeling of metal neither in my mouth nor on my hands.
I talk very fast when i get excited about a subject.
My intelligence drops to almost non existing when I am nervous and and afraid.
I hate it when people ( even my so called friends ) touch me or wanna hug me.
I can't stand certain smells. ( For example the odor of some people, especially during summer ugh ). I need very long time when I do grocery shopping because I can never decide and when people push me it is even worse.
I have my rituals when somebody interrupts me doing them I get nervous and angry and have to do them all over again, from the beginning.
At night I lock all my doors and I have to check if I turned of everything, otherwise I can't sleep quietly. I need two hours to fall asleep ( a doctor once told me because I think to much and that my brain is constantly thinking and working and that that is the reason why I cant fall asleep and why my sleep is the tightest ). Right now my neighbors are being very disrespectful again and right now I think they are doing it on purpose, and right now I wish i could open my mouth and yell at them. Because that is something I can't do either, telling people what I feel and all that.
I don't have a big selfestem. My best friends says : Where there should be a selfestem who have less then 1% of a selfestem.
Well I guess I talked to much now ( another thing I have, if I start writing I can't stop.)
Sorry for having bothered you with my story, I hope you don't mind.
There is a lot more but that would be to much to type down.
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A lot of what you says is really familiar to me; I have sensory hyper-sensitivity too & "un-sourced" sounds bother me the most; I also have a particular problem with Techno, particularly for any length of time because I have a low tolerance to its repetition. I keep foam earplugs in my bag as a get-out clause if sounds are bothering me over-much. I also use prescription dark glasses because of light-sensitivity & migraine although they also help me a lot with social anxieties when I'm out. I don't know what to say about neighbors; I have proximity-to-others issues & so moved to a back-of-beyond place where there aren't any although I appreciate I'm lucky & not everyone is able to do that. Don't fret about venting; better you share here, as we understand! 
