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Recent content by seanaaronfay

  1. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    That is exactly what I mean. Lacking control has always been hard for me. It's like I cannot, and will not, understand why she wouldn't be okay with talking to me again. I never did anything wrong to her. I've never said anything wrong to her either. I guess I'll never understand irrationality...
  2. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    It was OlLiE, thank you. I hear what you're saying in regards to talking to her. I just feel like it wouldn't do me any good. I called her back in March and received no answer, even after I left a voicemail. Even if I texted her, I feel like I would either get no response, or I would get a...
  3. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    I cannot fathom thinking of her as "the perfect woman in my head". I feel like that just masks the situation at hand. She is someone that I respect greatly, and I fully despise thinking of her as someone that "does not sound like who she really is". I understand you're trying to help me out with...
  4. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    If only it were that simple. I do appreciate you input though — don't get me wrong — but I've called her once before and didn't receive anything from her. I did have a couple of private conversations with her about how I felt for her. But it seemed like it was just masked by the fact that (a)...
  5. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    Thank you. I'm trying to get through it :)
  6. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    It's an unfortunate thing to have to accept. I always worry that that's all she will ever be to me. I'm frustrated because I can't have a chance to have a final remark, and because I feel like I never took the chance to appreciate her presence at that period of my life. It's like I took it all...
  7. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    Thank you. I've come to realize that I will always be fighting for closure until it comes; I'll never truly feel better until I receive that closure I'm looking for (even if that closure is finding out she never had any feelings for me to begin with).
  8. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    I really appreciate you kind words Keigan. Every night, the thoughts of being around her — and wishing she was still around — put me to sleep. There are so many times where someone, or something, reminds me of her. It just leaves me wondering if NTs would think of me as psychotic for having...
  9. seanaaronfay

    Thanks! It has issues with its electronics. Whenever I plug it into my amp it crackles and...

    Thanks! It has issues with its electronics. Whenever I plug it into my amp it crackles and doesn't produce sound. So it sits unplayable.
  10. seanaaronfay

    19 and Struggling with a Loss

    Writing a book about the experience has been a remedy for me. The entire experience has reminded me how much she still matters to me, even though we don't talk or see each other on a regular basis. That's the most significant coping tool I have.
  11. seanaaronfay

    19 and Struggling with a Loss

    Hi Susan! I did try to reconnect with her a couple of months ago with a phone call, but I was unsuccessful. I left her a voicemail simply asking her how things were going and letting her know that I was curious to hear from her. But, she never called me back. It frustrates me that she didn't at...
  12. seanaaronfay

    Asperger's and disconnection

    Hi all, As an individual who's dealt with Asperger's for the past 12 years, I've struggled so much with making and finding friends my own age. I don't talk to much to anyone my age outside of work or school. My biggest struggle of all, which has essentially fueled the fire, is the loss of...
  13. seanaaronfay

    19 and Struggling with a Loss

    Hi AspiesCentral, I decided to join this community and see if it would help me. I just turned 19 just over a month ago, and I'm going to be a sophomore in college this coming fall. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in April of 2005, when I was seven years old. I've struggled making...
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