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Recent content by kblackbird

  1. kblackbird

    When the S/O is your life-raft...

    I am pretty good at hiding it all inside or going where no one can see me to freak out. My family was extremely strict for certain things of "not allowed". And being that I'm from the South in the US, doubly so. Which created worse traits in other areas of my life/behaviour/mind.
  2. kblackbird

    When the S/O is your life-raft...

    It's sometimes in the morning, sometimes during shutdowns, but the most common instance for me is what my sister and I have termed "zoning". She and I both do it, and it consists of staring unblinkingly at no particular thing with no speaking. Admittedly, it feels amazing on, well, on all...
  3. kblackbird

    When the S/O is your life-raft...

    Thank you. I might have to try the idea of a planned hand signal. I'm used to having to force speech because of how I was raised. It amazes me that there's wonderful (though rare) people that come along and are understanding like your husband is.
  4. kblackbird

    When the S/O is your life-raft...

    He sounds like a perfect friend!
  5. kblackbird

    When the S/O is your life-raft...

    I guess I'm paranoid about what others are thinking, I'm hypersensitive and over-vigilant around most people. Thankfully, there was no smoke. However, there were drunken people which was obnoxious. I will have to try earplugs if we're ever stuck going to another event, thank you for the idea!
  6. kblackbird

    When the S/O is your life-raft...

    We talk a lot. Vastly, compared to my past relationships. We are very comfortable with being extremely open with each other, and it sometimes surprises people. We try different things, and I am willing to put myself through my worst fears just for him. He's not NT, not really sure what the...
  7. kblackbird

    When the S/O is your life-raft...

    I try to tell him as often as possible that I appreciate what he does, and I also tell him I will try my best never to take him for granted. I do what I can to verbalize, so chaos doesn't happen. I hope I am able to give him equal exchange, but I feel as if what he does for me isn't able to be...
  8. kblackbird

    When the S/O is your life-raft...

    I just got done attending a very LARGE wedding. Now, a group of small people I feel like everyone is staring. A large group of people and I'm easily overwhelmed, and it feels like a person three feet away is standing immediately next to me. I smile even past my face hurting, because I'm...
  9. kblackbird

    Hi I'm K.

    Thank you, and yes. I have constant hobbies/interests, reoccurring hobbies/interests, and ones that I hold for a time until I'm bored of them. Some constants - art of every kind, singing (I love impersonating styles and accents I hear), reading (I tend to check out 13-20 books on a subject...
  10. kblackbird

    Hi I'm K.

    Thanks everyone for the welcomes.
  11. kblackbird

    Hi I'm K.

    Felt it would be rude to not introduce myself even if I'm terrified. I join forums but I don't really contribute because I feel too nervous. I'm undiagnosed, but have been diagnosed PTSD by one doc and anxiety by another. But I've been not "normal" since before the abuse. So I dunno. Three of my...
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