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Recent content by chincey_james

  1. chincey_james

    Intrusive Thoughts

    I only overthink. It's a matter of making goodness out of my overthinking. Lately, I've been focusing on tackling one frightening goal at a time. For example, I just went to the dentist for the first time in almost a decade. It was far easier than I thought, and I'm incredibly proud of myself...
  2. chincey_james

    too weird/autistic for love?

    Uniqueness is priceless. Who would pursue the average?
  3. chincey_james

    Attempted the guitar again and too daunted to draw

    I have been playing guitar for most of my life. In my opinion, there are two secrets to learning an instrument: 1. Enjoy every stage. A beginner should find joy in imperfection. Music is about expressing feeling even in private. If the goal is to impress yourself or others, then you likely...
  4. chincey_james

    Have you ever been told you had a demon?

    There's enough negative realities in this life. We don't need to add demons into the mix to explain anything. The idea of demons is lazily used to punish anyone who dares to be different (or has no choice in the matter). People are free to believe as they please of course, but I personally would...
  5. chincey_james

    Alcohol to get through social situations

    The feeling of being healthy will only grow and feed into itself. Nutrition and sleep does wonders. What an exciting time in your life. A chance to become new. Stim away! I also had to learn who the real me was and that meant being as "weird" as I need to be to get by.
  6. chincey_james

    Alcohol to get through social situations

    I used alcohol to cope in my 20s before I knew I was autistic. It nearly destroyed me. Here's the truth I wish I knew then: Alcohol only apparently removes anxiety. In actuality, it causes more stress than it relieves. It is a potent poison and carcinogen. The number of its victims is...
  7. chincey_james

    Reasons to live?

    1. Curiosity. Life is always fascinating upon analysis. We don't know what life is, and anything might happen, including good things. 2. The pleasure of wise and moderate living. A little pleasure is better than too much. 3. Spending time with loved ones who understand me. 4. Hobbies...
  8. chincey_james

    Vegetarianism

    My veganism arises from compassion, and that compassion applies to meat eaters as much as it does animals. For anyone on the sidelines and considering going plant-based, I recommend a documentary called Dominion. It is a disturbing film, not for the faint of heart, but it is what pushed me to...
  9. chincey_james

    Masking abilities deteriorating over time

    That's true. This feels like a crisis of faith in my ability to "make it work." A period of doubt after years of unthinking belief. Masking is taking more energy for me now, and this means that my masking is going to have to evolve. I need to find a middle ground and a moderate way to exist in a...
  10. chincey_james

    Masking abilities deteriorating over time

    That is an interesting point. I do admit that much of the time I consciously choose to mask less now. The unconscious aspect of this is more frightening to me though, and I probably should have specified that earlier. Lately, I often find myself walls-down and having more "meltdowns" than I...
  11. chincey_james

    Do you know the name for this? Or do you do this too?

    I have always imitated and incorporated voices and phrases. It did not occur to me how often I did this or how strange it was to others until I got older. The voice is the original instrument, and I suppose some people take more joy than others in playing it. All good musicians learn riffs and...
  12. chincey_james

    Masking abilities deteriorating over time

    Has anyone else found that their masking abilities deteriorated over time? I used to be an expert masker. From a young age, I spent every bit of my energy on projecting normality and seeking comfortable responses from family members, associates, and strangers. But ever since my diagnosis last...
  13. chincey_james

    The Concept of Blood

    I find blood unsettling. Not in movies or video games, but in real life. Somehow, the wetness of blood seems so different than the mostly dry external experience of having a body.
  14. chincey_james

    Anxiety making you flush.

    Absolutely. Redness and tightening of my cheeks. I hate it. I find it tends to happen when multiple people are looking at me and waiting for me to speak. Or when I've been asked an unexpectedly personal question.
  15. chincey_james

    Vegetarianism

    I have been vegan for a few years. It won't save the world. It won't even save all the animals. But it lets me wash a little blood off my hands from this dirty business of life. You can't eliminate harm, but you can choose to reduce it a little. The meat and dairy industries treat animals like...
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