Hi, i need some help with friend making

[R3B3LCAUSE]

I want to have more friends. If I become friends with her than it would make it easier for me to make friends with other people wouldn't it? I don't see why I should have to wait for her to be single before I try to be friends with her. And her boyfriend lives a long way away so don't have to worry about him being around very often. And I wasn't thinking of asking out someone else's girlfriend, I just think she is a nice person who would be a good friend

At this point I see my feelings about her as being more of an obstacle than anything because i get very stressed around her and it makes it even harder to be social. For example if I didn't feel that way about her I probably could have said hi to her when we were sitting together the other day. I don't know how to calm myself down

 

[Soup]

I understand what you mean, Rebel: you want to make friends with her & maybe hang out a little. I am not accusing you of trying to steal someone else's girlfriend. I am just saying that her boyfriend might not see it that way since you have an obvious crush-type attraction to this girl. I would hate to hear later that the boyfriend got wind of you asking his girlfriend out for coffee (or whatever) & that he got mad at you or misinterpreted your intentions. Many boyfriends (& girlfriends too) can be paranoid about opposite sex friendships.

 

[Ste11aeres]

About the texting, texting's pretty impersonal, talkign face to face is muchj more emotionally satisfying, so she might not enjoy texting, that might be why she doesn't do it. Or she could be following a rule that says girls can't initialte texting, the guy has to do it first. Or she could think it would be misinterpreted as romantic interest, whereas (maybe) like you she would rather have friendship than romance. If she prefers friendship, she might hold back on showing that if she thinks you would misinterpret friendship as romance.

P.S. Even Neurotypicals sometimes are not sure how to interpret things.They are no mind readers.

 

[Mark_D]

First I should tell you that you're not alone. When I was in high school I was scared to death of girls. I would not talk to any girl who I found attractive for fear of rejection, even just socially. I badly wanted to be accepted by females. I also never had more than one or two guy friends at a time.

Do you have male friends, or at least guys you talk to other than just saying hi to each other? If you don't then you should work on having conversations with guys who have a similar social status as you at school. You will discover it's way easier to talk to a guy because there's not that tension you get with girls.