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KevinMao133

KevinMao133

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  • KevinMao133
    I don’t know if this is an aspie trait but..

    I’m started to think maybe I’m too self centred and self absorbed

    Given I’m single, I focus on myself 90% of the time. Hard to focus on others when there’s no one to focus on
    KevinMao133
    I don’t know if I’m the only one feeling this way but I consistently feel like hiding

    I don’t know. I don’t feel safe in public

    I’m very private and I don’t reveal myself, unless it’s with people I trust

    Anyways, yeah, that’s about it
    KevinMao133
    I’m in a bad place mentally

    I’m confused

    On one hand, being isolated is not a good feeling but on the other, I really don’t want to waste time on people that’s irrelevant

    Women frustrates me. People too
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Sorry about that. Sounds like a bit of a struggle right now.
    KevinMao133
    Shake my head

    They asked me if I’m a resident of the building

    Dude why is it so hard to stay low key?

    I don’t want to brag, is that a problem?
    View previous comments…
    annO
    annO
    Looks do play a role in how people respond to and interact with another person's prescence.

    It seems unfair on the surface but it can be credited to our instinct of survival. We tend to avoid things and people that remind us (even subconsciously) of an object or person that has harmed us in the past.
    annO
    annO
    I picked a beautiful flower once but it had tiny tiny little prickliest that you don't feel until a few minutes later. There is another plant that looks similar to the Silver Leaf Nightshade but it isn't even related. I avoided both plants until I took a native plants class and learned about the other plant.
    annO
    annO
    It's easier to fix our object perceptions but not so easy to fix our perceptions of humans because humans are unpredictable. Would you agree?
    KevinMao133
    Had a bad experience at an restaurant today

    I was forced to tip

    It was only 2 dollars as I gave them 10%, but still it’s a bad look

    I feel terrible, I have to do something to make this up
    View previous comments…
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    @Forest Cat I feel bad for tipping

    I don’t just give my money away for free. You want it? Earn it, don’t expect it
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    It's unfortunately become quite the norm. Maybe not forced tipping, but tipping in general is. It's turned earning wages into a joke at any restaurant that supports tips. People get paid so little that tips are they only way to earn a decent amount of money. Those that force tipping are particularly extreme examples of this.
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    You feel bad for giving away two dollars? It's two dollars. Don't feel bad, it could be worse.
    KevinMao133
    Weekdays and weekends, it doesn’t matter sometimes

    It can be a Monday and I might just have a chill day, playing video games and watching YouTube

    It can be a Sunday and instead of having a funday, I might just start working

    I don’t have to work like others. I’m already set
    KevinMao133
    Being competitive has a down side

    Win at all costs, with that mentality, I’m less patient

    I also find people to be annoying and expect too much

    Again only I can figure out the solution, only I can do better
    S
    Slime_Punk
    Competition can be a great motivator, provided you can take losses well! Sometimes other people have to win, too, but if that part doesn't faze you, then I'd say you probably have a 'winning' attitude!
    KevinMao133
    I got a problem with people who look down on others

    Yeah I said it. I hate snobs and snobbish people to a major degree

    They claim they are successful yet they don’t have a successful mindset. Their brains don’t match with their so called intellect

    I certainly don’t know how these fools got far with their narrow mindedness and the narrow view towards others

    Brainless will love the brainless, vice versa
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Opinions are just that. And everyone is entitled to a opinion. Just as long as it's a free world.
    KevinMao133
    The more I think about this, the more I dislike this

    Everyone asks you what you do. It’s like your value is being defined by your job, rather than self. It also feels like your worth plummets if you aren’t as successful

    This is not right. I hang out with everyone because there’s something that I don’t know and there’s something about everyone that I can learn
    tree
    tree
    I don't think of it as being evaluated.
    I think of it people getting a description, something to remember the other person by.
    A way to get to know them, a little.
    LadyS
    LadyS
    I know it feels that way within certain groups (Indians are like this), they definitely assign a value and status to a person by their job, salary, and title. Big time.
    KevinMao133
    I just attended a meeting

    I always knew how bad I was at socializing and that my socializing skills are subpar

    After the meeting, I realized how far behind I really am

    I probably won’t reach the level of NTs, coming to realization
    S
    Slime_Punk
    I think most of us can reach that level, but it requires dedication and practice. We might have to put more discipline into it, but we're not a lost cause!
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    I was just thinking about something: I think it’s good I’m experiencing pain as I’m not avoiding problems and moving on but I’m not sure if I’m willing to deal with the process. I’m living by myself, wish I can have someone who can occasionally help me
    KevinMao133
    Just an update: after severe pain I went to the ER last night

    Doctors told me my issue wasn’t serious and prescribed Tylenol and Advil. I’m feeling fine right now

    We will see where this goes
    S
    Slime_Punk
    If I've learned anything in life, it's this: if it persists, consider trying another hospital
    KevinMao133
    I’m dealing with a strange situation

    I normally don’t socialize but today I had a great experience. My confidence is finally back, I just want to socialize and party all day

    I thought I was an introvert, I guess not. I also guess I have an identity crisis now. I just want to have fun all the time and enjoy life
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    What about a little bit of both? Sometimes quiet solitude and other times socializing and having all that fun that you want. Maybe balance would lead to maximum enjoyment.
    KevinMao133
    On the outside I look calm and stoic but on the inside I’m dealing with stuff few can relate

    This explains my demeanour. This explains why I’m ultra protective of my privacy and this also explains why I’m not curious at all, like I don’t ask questions

    Well I am curious and I want to go deep, but I do my best to control my emotions as I don’t want to be seen as nosy

    I hate the culture I grew up in
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Did you ever consider bringing the inside to the outside more often and letting go of the vigilantly stoic image? Perhaps allow yourself to express to those around you what’s going on on the inside?
    KevinMao133
    To say I don’t want friends is a lie

    I’m by myself all the time, so I want friends, sometimes

    Problem is it’s hard to find. I will watch YouTube instead, or continue to work
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    “I want friends sometimes,” is how I feel, too. They have to be the right kind of friends and only in small doses. All my friends are long distance or computer only friends. I think I like it like that.
    Luc Ienn
    Luc Ienn
    Same for me too. There are days when all I want is to talk to someone about everything I think is interesting. I can spend weeks on a person like this.
    After that, I need to go hide and collect more things to share again. I can’t spend time with people if I have nothing to share.
    KevinMao133
    Anyone else get annoyed by people sometimes? I mean I supposed to be stoic and remain vigilant but there are triggers
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Supposed to be stoic at all times? Sounds exhausting. And impossible. Getting annoyed with others is part of living.
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    I am often annoyed with myself, not just others
    KevinMao133
    To whomever is suffering or dealing with difficulties, here’s a quote I’ve learned:

    “No one has control over you, but you.”

    Took me a while to figure this out. Still trying to incorporate this into my day to day life as well as decision making
    KevinMao133
    I just realized something, my ego is often getting in my way, I can do better. Hard to fix the issue though
    S
    Slime_Punk
    This is a very wise realization! I think most of our problems stem from this, and it's definitely difficult to overcome, but absolutely not impossible!
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Hard to fix, but not impossible. Realization is the first step.
    KevinMao133
    Most people these days are weird and stupid. Again I may be outdated but fools my age, can’t deal with them. I prefer someone who’s older and can guide me through life. People who are my age depend on me to do everything, yet they offer nothing in return
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