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When advice and society collide

Like some I’m not employed and like some I’m seeing a therapist. But unlike some, I’m somewhat content with my life at the moment.

As I’ve written in one of my earlier blogs on this forum I seem to live in quite aspie-optimal circumstances. Even my social worker commented, last year, that it’s not that odd I’m doing pretty fine now, given that my life is pretty much adjusted to how it works best for me.

However, here’s the conundrum I’ve been running into by talking to professionals, by reading some forum posts and even, yesterday, as I was visiting a bookstore and decided to browse their psychology section and sat down to read a few books they had around (which is also why I’m probably no fun to take shopping, lol).

See, what I’ve become to realize is that useful advice to actually maintain a certain mental equilibrium, to preserve a proper mental state and not appear as crazy as I could be, is that while these methods work, they’re hardly realistic things to work with in society nowadays.

My therapist and I discussed my current mental well-being and she told me I was actually doing alright and there’s no real cause for concern. And she’s right. I know very well how to maintain this mental equilibrium at the moment. My issues are in fact reactionary. My depression isn’t clinical or chronic like my friend has it. I don’t wake up in a terrible mood every day, I don’t think life sucks every day. But I wake up in a terrible mood when I get triggered. But realistically, those triggers cannot be taken away, since these are often things that are just a part of life.

I’ve discussed if there’s something to be done about it, but she told me that such things will eventually get to most people if they’re in the same situation, with a similar outlook as mine. My therapist said, she might probably react the same. And thus, the problem sounds more like a situation, an environment and an overall perspective that needs to change. But given my situation, both financially and mentally, it’s not really that the ball is in my court.

So, what I’m seeing happen is therapists acknowledge my issues and pretty much tell me “it’s not your responsibility since this situation would give the same outcome for anyone”. They know what needs to be done for it to get resolved, but it’s the most impractical option ever. Better yet, the solution isn’t even possible.

Law prevents any funding or perspective to actual progress and improvement and that seems to be a recipe for a nice revolving door of insanity for the time being. Therapists see this happening with a lot of their clients.

But without going into too much of the legal system, which seems to be different for each country, here’s one of these brilliant advices I’ve read the other day.

“In order to avoid issues it’s best to change your environment around so these troubling triggers aren’t as prevalent”.

Yes, right there, on the money, something I could’ve told anyone and in fact something I’m doing myself right now. Which is why I’m probably less unhinged than I ought to be. But this also means I have to take it a step further. At home it’s easy to maintain, but books also speak about adjusting your workplace. Yes, as much as I would like this to happen, I can hardly walk up to my supervisor and demand he make adjustments because otherwise I’ll barge in and shoot the place up since it triggers all kinds of things mental.

It’s hardly realistic advice. Yes, one can try and discuss this, but in a world where you’ll get fired and 20 others are lining up for your job (and might even be interested in doing it for less pay) the prospect of demanding adjustments to say out of the therapist’s office is a hard sell. Better yet, don’t even ask for an hour off to visit your therapist, since that’ll already cause issues for plenty of employers.

I’m lucky my therapist respects my opinion on medication and rigorous intervention and seemingly does share my opinion that amends should be made from both sides more than this notion that I’m a faulty product, like some therapists will probably pin down on us.

But still, the notion on finding useful advice that actually has some solid support and footing in society as it is now seems to be harder and harder. Which I find quite ironic in that we all strive for more individualism, yet being an individual and needing adjustments that are there for you specifically are being frowned upon. You’re only as much an individual as others allow you so it seems.

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King_Oni
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