Sustains

The pain will not sustain me, for long.
It will drain me.
It will attain me. Hoping it wont bring shame to me. Wont replace me. Rename me. Make me blame me. I cant suffer. Cant expose. Nerves exposed. Bliind eyes turned. Waves afoot. How long till I see fit. Crooked ridge. Lost hips blended bridge. I dont wish. No hope. No sight. No guided flight. My minds a wobbly mess. My brains scrammbled soup. I dont know anymore. Hopefully something I do helps someone. Im not fading for just nothing. Need to get back to myself. Get back to reality . What reality even is? Its flipped around on me. I dont know it anymore. Dont know myself anymore. There once was an open door now I feel alone and broken. When I thought I was free and clear. Help me through this? You cant, you dont get it, no one does. Not even me.