You might be an Aspie/Autie if?/Jokes

[Mia]

If your life's ambition is to produce "Webster's Dictionary--The Movie".

 

[Myway]

If your life's ambition is to produce "Webster's Dictionary--The Movie".

Good one. I like it.

 

[Full Steam]

- You need backup to phone through a take away order, otherwise everyone is getting a surprise meal.
- Rehersing in your mind what to say during a phone order, and then hearing words come out in random order when you start speaking. "what the he'll did I just say?" (hot flush rising, and panic beginning).
-Going to great lengths to find food with the perfect crunch. Roast potatoes are best, but pickled gherkins on toast with olive oil works well (olive oil makes toast crunchy especially if you toast it quite brown and oil it when hot. The pickles add crunch, and the required soft resistance)

I don't like crunch without a bit of softness.

 

[The Outsider]

Some of those things fit me a lot like not making up my bed, doing basic shopping counting as social interaction, and eating like five types of food to name a few.

• Even in chat rooms and gaming you try to type with perfect spelling and grammar.
• You have 2,000 something tabs opened in Firefox and need to use an extension to force limit the amount of opened tabs at once.
• If you don't post on a message board for awhile, you'll start a new thread instead of replying to one out of the blue.
• You question why people don't seem to question what they are told.
• You think about counterarguments and comebacks to discussions that have long since past.
• You don't understand why people who certain things so seriously in video games. If what happens to the AI is fictional, why is it a big deal to do bad things to them?
• You'll spend a long time reading pointless Internet arguments in hopes of finding new points brought up.
• You stress out when picking a profile image for websites, programs, and gaming. You feel that you shouldn't use a particular character unless you know a lot about them because then you expect people might think you know a lot about said character. You also don't like the idea of not acting like said character. Profile images are serious business.
• You'll sit here and try to make this list longer just because you want too instead of just replying already.

 

[Mr Allen]

You hate talking to call centres, especially Foreign ones. Also, you hate it when you send an email to someone, expecting a reply within 24 hours, and they don't even acknowledge your email. And finally, you make specific arrangements to see about a job, and you go, armed with a copy of your CV, to see about said job, and the person you've been told to ask for at Reception, is not there but they send their Colleague to meet you, annoying innit? And then they don't even discuss the particular job you went about! Smh.

These are all things that annoy the crap out of me, and it's 17 years and 3 months almost to the day since I was diagnosed as Aspie.

 

[Mia]

You might be an aspie/autie if:

You can visualize the map of Middle Earth better than a map of the real world.

 

[Full Steam]

- You know the battle hymn of the Ents march word for word.

- And all the words to a hammerite advert from the early '90s.

- When you go out for a walk in the woods, on the way back it seems like a different walk because you saw it from a different angle. You thought that was normal.

 

[Nitro]

Or as Nitro once mentioned to me, our need to arrive on whole numbers pertaining to the price and/or volume at the gasoline pump. Guilty as charged.

 

[Nitro]

I have data backed up seven ways to Sunday...
some of it right here on the AC servers

 

[Nitro]

Y'all such a silly bunch

 

[tree]

There are an additional six pages of similar material here:
You might be an aspie if...

 

[Mia]

You might be an aspie if:

...you want to sky-dive or bungee jump, but you wouldn't do it if you had to drive through traffic to get there.

 

[Mia]

Middle aged and going to college and petrified by the question "what is your major" because you don't know if it should be, English, Russian, Art, Art History, Psychology or whatever your next interest will be, or if you should pursue your own personalized major program in Eremitic Studies or Anti-Social Science.

 

[ChrisN]

You dread receiving a gift from Yankee Candle
You buy 2 of things, every thing.

 

[OkRad]

number 3 and 5 is me,i want to be non verbal again as i do not like the verbal world i have been dragged into by people who told me it would make life easier.

This makes me very sad. You're amazing, Tooth, and they had no right to do that to you. But they did not take who you are away. They could never do that. And one day you might get it back

 

[korbin]

• You have 2,000 something tabs opened in Firefox and need to use an extension to force limit the amount of opened tabs at once.
• If you don't post on a message board for awhile, you'll start a new thread instead of replying to one out of the blue.
• You question why people don't seem to question what they are told.
• You think about counterarguments and comebacks to discussions that have long since past.

I have a thousand tabs open at any time. I often find myself thinking of counter arguments weeks even months after the fact, I'll often bring the evidence to the other party only to be told they don't remember that argument.

 

[Full Steam]

Chrome works better as Firefox only uses one processor core. Chrome creates a new instance for each tab so multiprocessor pc will run better.

 

[Liam Sifr]

You get coffee from the same Starbucks place every day before work, and refuse do so at any other outlet on your off days because only those guys get your coffee right.

 

[toothless]

This makes me very sad. You're amazing, Tooth, and they had no right to do that to you. But they did not take who you are away. They could never do that. And one day you might get it back

thankyou mate, i honestly apreciate that!
i know being non verbal made things more difficult for me but that was my life, and to be brought into a world where i struggle every day to verbally string words together on top of the ridiculous amount of pressure i get to verbally speak is not a world i want to live in.
it stresses me out big time and i can understand exactly how so many aspies feel they would be better off non verbal,i never understood that until i was forced into the verbal world.

 

[OkRad]

thankyou mate, i honestly apreciate that!
i know being non verbal made things more difficult for me but that was my life, and to be brought into a world where i struggle every day to verbally string words together on top of the ridiculous amount of pressure i get to verbally speak is not a world i want to live in.
it stresses me out big time and i can understand exactly how so many aspies feel they would be better off non verbal,i never understood that until i was forced into the verbal world.

You just brought home to me how much energy I expend on talking. I am not non verbal but the amount of brain energy I spend on wondering:

"What to say, why did I say that, now what will they think of me, why didn't I just not say anything? What will I do if they start to talk to me AGAIN?",

LONG conversations in my head with certain people to be able to prepare for ANY AND ALL verbal contingencies (ie a greeting, a question, a slight, a blowoff, a kindness I want to return, )

And then maybe I want to be nice, "How can I let them know they made me happy and I appreciate them? But then they might think I am coming on to them, but I am TWELVE inside, and they don't know that, do I tell them? I should tell them! No, I cannot.....but they are confused..."

It never stops. It interferes with my special interests and ability to self soothe and ability to even think to get through my day.

I stopped eating totally one semester will all this chaos on how to engage with my profs, especially one who took an interest in me (in a good way) which left me with endless practice sessions in my head that just exhausted me and I dropped out!!!

OMGOSH!!!!!!! This on TOP of trying to even survive day to day? Trying to eat and avoid sense issues and everything else.

Oh Yeah.........if I could be non verbal I would, Now if I try, I scare everyone. If I never was, it would just be me.