Why do you befriend people?

[epath13]

Back to the question of posting and therefore relating to other people:
I've been browsing through my FB posts and I have to admit they are very normal Just some everyday stuff and on occasion interesting info I came across.

And BTW when I saw NeverEnder's profile I finally decided to have timeline as well

OK back to the subject: I think it all comes to actually finding people with the same interests and relating to them if there's a need. I post neutral stuff because it is neutral, anybody can relate to that. As for the kids, I love my kids and that's what women talk about when they have them As for other subjects, let's say: problem solving, educating people with high IQ and processing difficulties, information processing, and more over spiritual development - finding similarities in different cultures without judgement, that's not something I want to discuss over digital cup of tea (I'm referring to FB). But it would be great if Aillas (he's not here but I say it anyway ) posted more stuff about art and things, I always find it interesting.

So I guess I am still living in 2 worlds, mine and what is considered to be, normal. I hated it before but it was because I though, if people accept one part of me they should accept the other as well. Now I realize, a lot of people do accept they just can't relate to it and it's very different. And the ones who don't accept struggling themselves and their attitude towards me has nothing to do with me. I can only learn my lessons through them and wish them luck in learning theirs.

 

[epath13]

I hope people will be able to read my posts without paying attention to grammar and orthographic mistakes, no matter how many times I check my posts I still manage to make them. Some people might not pay attention to that, especially because English is not my native language but it annoys me a lot! I know the reason behind it but still... eh, well...

 

[Arashi222]

Why do you befriend people online?
I befriend people who have similar interests or who are interested in being friends with me. I tend to stay on this and one other forum other than that I don't really talk to people online.
what makes you decide to do so?
I guess its people who friend me first. I am a bit wary right now of others. I had opened up for three years to two people and they screwed me over. So I just I wait usually before I try to be friends with someone. Sometimes I will talk to people but unless they attempt with me first I don't reach out right now. I'm so used to people just being mean to me.

Do you befriend anyone you know, talked to a few times, or someone you like and actually want to be friends with?
Before the current people who hurt me before I joined this forum I had started to reach out to people more. Now I've gone back into my shell more an I wait for others to find me interesting enough to reach out to be friends. I tend to find out if I like them or not but usually I get so exicted that someone wants to be my friends with me that I don't really care how I meet them.

 

[Alpaca]

Anybody's welcome to add me/me add them to Facebook. I know I'm new, but ya'll my people and this site has already had a profound impact on my life, so PM or whatevers.

 

[Aalo]

I'm quite eager to add people on places (like fb) if I have some real connection. Online buddies are welcomed, but I never befriend friend of friend unless I'm going to meet them or have met, but never just after meeting once, it'd feel too clingy and I don't collect friends. But in cases like moving to new city I can add all people attending to same activities as I'm, even before we've talked, because I always hope it'll lower my to tension of really speaking to them.

On some sites I befriend people just to be able to follow their posts and news never mind if they're politicians, authors or a neighbor.

But on sites for more specific interest I hardly befriend others than someone I know more close. It's not about secretivity, but about not trying to make friends on places where there's no talking, just pictures, charts or such.

 

[Cilantro]

I hardly ever befriend people online, though I have picked up a few close friends from various forums over the years. They were people I found myself posting in response to frequently and laughing with, so our personalities are highly compatible and we have lots to talk about. The more we talked the more we found in common, the more we helped each other grow, and the more we found to do together.

Otherwise, though, I'm uninterested in online friendships. I attract a lot of very unassertive conversationalists, which means I pretty much have to play the entertainer if I want their company. Not something I'm interested in doing while I'm at home in my pajamas or taking a break from creative writing.

On Facebook I'll add pretty much anyone I know or have known just so we have quick access to each other, but a friends-list there is really just a contacts-list.

 

[Firnafth]

First of all, I'll use an operational definition of a friend: somebody whom I would make an effort to stay into contact with if we ended up in a situation where it wasn't so easy to interact. I count few people as friends.

I am normally disinclined to befriend people online. I am glad to make acquaintances but rarely put energy into cultivating a friendship. I will not bother befriending people on the basis of typed interactions with them (forums and chat groups). I may work on making friends with people I interact with on voice chat, but I am extremely picky about the kind of people I trust, so I rarely make these kinds of friendships. Some people work to befriend me, but this has a mixed success rate for them.

I befriend people because interacting with them has a strong positive effect on me, and because I feel I can trust them to respond appropriately to me if I talk to them about personal issues.

I strongly agree about the Facebook friend list really being a contact list.

 

[anne.bc]

I either befriend people to prevent loneliness or because they seem cool. Pretty straight forward. I don't do cliques, but they still exist in my circle of acquaintances. *sigh*

 

[curious_pep]

I've been thinking about this question for a few days now.
Why do I really want to befriend people? hmmm.
If I were to be 100% honest it's because I don't want to not have friends. Not having friends has been an issue for me growing up so as I learned the art of making friends (emulating them and acting), it's just become this "thing" where I HAVE to have friends because if I don't...i feel like I am different? Have failed? And it affects me inside negatively because it really bothers me.
But, do I want friends so I can share things with? Not really. When I do finally get a friend I spend most of my time with them concentrating on making sure that I am keeping eye contact, being engaged in the conversation, asking them questions and not keeping my interests the center of everything. I am constantly keeping myself in check. Then I feel like I don't want friends. haha.

It's a weird thing for me. Because I also like attention but at the same time do not. Perhaps it's attention on the topic that is interesting me the most and I like it when others share the same enthusiasm. So, it bothers me when I don't have people to share that enthusiasm and I seek for people who do. But when I finally do find someone, it ends, because friendship requires additional things other than just what interests me!

haha. I'm a weirdo.

 

[Lector Tiberius]

I enjoy frienships if it's the weird anomoly that actually "works". I do have relationships with people that I have maintained over the years but I also have alot of reasons not to want to intereact with people and have them in my life. Generally, I feel that most humans are are great source of frustration and confusion to me. I also feel like it's too late to learn all the social cue stuff , I guess. Well , I'm not sure I want to. I would rather just go about my day and be left alone, not in the sense "ignored" but not always be in the posistion of "whats going to happen now?" I don't mind talking to people online or texting , as it's easier for me to comunicate but not to be negative , I've also had alot of bad experiances with people that I've met online. So , I tend to be careful

Right now , I kinda need a "regroup" ( break ) I've been living in not the best place for about a year now and I'm moving into my new place in about a week so it will be nice to have new breathing room and not have to deal with bad neighbors ..

 

[jimited]

I used to yearn for friendship because I hated being lonely, but even when I am with friends I find it too difficult to try and act "normal" and end up feeling like I am acting all fake, such as faking facial expressions and small talk because for years I have been told I never smile, why do I always look so miserable and why am I so quiet? I hate the fact that I find eye contact with most people difficult and that people think its rude, don't get me wrong I have got good friends and I can act like a bit of a joker, if I have something to say I will say it and I am known to be very argumentative especially when its factual based, but I find life much easier without social contact and I avoid it all. I have my own little family but complete solitude is the only way I feel comfortable.

 

[xubly]

I've been thinking about this question for a few days now.
Why do I really want to befriend people? hmmm.
If I were to be 100% honest it's because I don't want to not have friends. Not having friends has been an issue for me growing up so as I learned the art of making friends (emulating them and acting), it's just become this "thing" where I HAVE to have friends because if I don't...i feel like I am different? Have failed? And it affects me inside negatively because it really bothers me.
But, do I want friends so I can share things with? Not really. When I do finally get a friend I spend most of my time with them concentrating on making sure that I am keeping eye contact, being engaged in the conversation, asking them questions and not keeping my interests the center of everything. I am constantly keeping myself in check. Then I feel like I don't want friends. haha.

It's a weird thing for me. Because I also like attention but at the same time do not. Perhaps it's attention on the topic that is interesting me the most and I like it when others share the same enthusiasm. So, it bothers me when I don't have people to share that enthusiasm and I seek for people who do. But when I finally do find someone, it ends, because friendship requires additional things other than just what interests me!

haha. I'm a weirdo.

Lol, I found your post interesting. I don't think you're a weirdo. You may just be unique also, do you keep yourself in check because you're worried you'll lose your friend? If that's the case, I don't think you should be worried when you're only being yourself. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and just be who you are.


-Anyway, to answer the question..I thought I always made friends pretty easily, but looking back into the past, it may have been harder than I thought it was for me. I think as a child, I kinda just dealt with the fact that I couldn't change who I was anyway so I tried to be friends with everyone. They seemed to like me, but moving from different place to place made me feel insecure about who I was. I was picked on a lot for being a different type of Asian. In other words, I was 'ghetto' compare to the 'nerdy' Asians in the school district. I then learned there were new types of people in the world..mean ones. I never stopped trying to make friends though. I think that only made me not want to judge those around me even more. I welcome anyone to be my friend as long as they want to. I'm not extremely picky about who I befriend, but their loyalty is what really matters to me. I hope that answers the question.