When thinking others have it worse, does benefit one

[Streetwise]

i personally dont have the ability to communicate love that is unconditional !whenever it is needed, it doesn't exist in my brain
i've conditioned myself to try its not very successful i'm just way too stressed

Lost my little aspie Princess...still trying to win her back.
She was the most adorable lovely little thing you ever did see...Sigh!
I would do almost anything for her...but she isn't ready for love yet I guess?

So that quote is painful for me presently...but I do believe in True love!

 

[Molly]

Haha, that's the only drawback, the male suitors, I have to keep changing my route to avoid the pests as I am not interested lol. Got a wolf whistle yesterday which made me giggle. I started waving at him as I thought I must know him, lol. I didn't. It's nice to get attention though. I think.

I was thinking about you yesterday and wondering what you'd do. Lol, I used to do that, back out at the last moment, it's so good that your anxiety stopped as soon as you made your decision. Result.

That's similar to my garden party invitation with my family, as soon as I decided to decline I felt so much relief like a weight had been lifted.

Good for you for putting yourself first and standing your ground. And the little notes sound adorable. That's what I do with my envelopes seal them with motives. Sometimes we just need to say no. Glad you had a good time and had no guilt, well done. That's a nice gesture, the butterfly your spiritual sister sent you, I look forward to seeing it.

Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you had dogs, and I totally understand that we cannot bond with every dog, I couldn't. The two I have now are exceptionally special to me. Aww, Archy your sausage dog sounds very cute indeed. Perhaps you could take him out again one day. What do you do to keep occupied if you don'tmind me asking?

Do you ever go walking around where you live in France, do you feel safe enough to? Or is the anxiety too much.

Yes, that's a good term. I was crushed as he was and still remains the only person in my life who 'got' me. Six months later I bought myself a giant dog, Well he was six weeks old when I got him but he soon grew - a Labradoodle, who takes a lot of work and attention - I have to wash and clip both dogs every four weeks it's the Poodle coats - and with the other mad dog I have I am kept occupied and relatively sane. Oh yes, it's tortureouse staying with others, even when they like us it never feels right.

Lol. Yes, sometimes we really need to push ourselves and make the effort. I know exactly what you mean. I keep forgetting that social interaction is an ongoing process. The home made cards are a fab idea.

 

[Maelstrom]

i personally dont have the ability to communicate love that is unconditional !whenever it is needed, it doesn't exist in my brain
i've conditioned myself to try its not very successful i'm just way too stressed

Yes dating is hard...I tend to blank out if stressed with too much new things to deal with at once.
I am getting better at expressing true warmth...keep trying @Streetwise ,but try to feel what you say and do...feel the warmness you show in the moment with a touch of the hand, or warm words.
I got so I could feel warm inside after awhile...it gets easier with time and practice.

 

[Streetwise]

i mean the love g~d creates not the love connected to a marriage
its a quote from the new testament

Lost my little aspie Princess...still trying to win her back.
She was the most adorable lovely little thing you ever did see...Sigh!
I would do almost anything for her...but she isn't ready for love yet I guess?

So that quote is painful for me presently...but I do believe in True love!

 

[Streetwise]

oh its happens but the problem is panic disorder :-C
does what it says !!!everything!!!!!!!! is disordered it makes being sentient a war every day, i also think im getting anxiety from a hormonal imbalance :-C possibly menopause gp won't test me ah the n.h.s

Yes dating is hard...I tend to blank out if stressed with too much new things to deal with at once.
I am getting better at expressing true warmth...keep trying @Streetwise ,but try to feel what you say and do...feel the warmness you show in the moment with a touch of the hand, or warm words.
I got so I could feel warm inside after awhile...it gets easier with time and practice.

 

[Molly]

Yes, I agree @Maelstrom it does become much easier expressing warmth with practise.

It's very easy with my dogs, it feels natural, but so hard and awkward with humans. Guess that's down to my upbringing, but it's worth the effort. For example, I used to have to force myself to say Good Morning etc to people and smile, when out walking my dogs as that seems to be the thing to do for most NTs. After about a year of forcing myself, it started to become second nature and began to feel more natural and even felt nice. I am still not 100 percent, I never will be, but I am glad I am at least making the effort to blend in.

 

[Suzanne]

Hi @Suzanne Ahh, that's good to hear that you too feel 'lighter' when you husband goes off to work.

Sorry about the self conscience, I can really empathise with that. It can be crippling, can't it. That's where my dogs come in handy as I can fuss with them if I think people are looking at me and they get all the attention anyway so it works out well.

I am glad that your husband is supportive, that's so important.

I work from home and only ever go out when I walk my dogs three times a day. I am forced into social interaction even though I am against it in principle lol. I talk a lot to other dog walkers and have even made some good dog-walking 'friends'. My dogs are the friendliest dogs on the planet and people are drawn to them and me yikes!! Which is a real pain when I have days when I don't want to talk to people.

My husband died in 2014 and I am just starting to make a new life for myself now, very slowly - we were married for thirty years, had I been with him since I was 17.

I know I would never go out if it weren't for my two dogs.

Oh, was it yesterday, the date with your friends? How did it go? I hope you enjoyed it.

will take a picture of the butter fly and upload it here.

 

[Molly]

That's so pretty @Suzanne thanks for uploading it. Lovely colours.

 

[Suzanne]

That's so pretty @Suzanne thanks for uploading it. Lovely colours.

I was not expecting it, when my husband handed the same envolope as I gave her, and to find a lovely little litter and this butterfly folded up inside.

 

[Streetwise]

do you remember Wendy alec you must now go to her Facebook page her username is Wendyalec 777
shes recounting the impact of a prophecy and shes added it to the post its like its written for you and me

Lost my little aspie Princess...still trying to win her back.
She was the most adorable lovely little thing you ever did see...Sigh!
I would do almost anything for her...but she isn't ready for love yet I guess?

So that quote is painful for me presently...but I do believe in True love!

y

 

[HelzBelz]

Lol - that quote bugs me because, despite how things COULD be worse, for me, it's relative to what is going on in my own life and how I'm coping with it all. I know I'm a bit of a pessimist but when there are unexpected significant events in my life (eg, my son self-harming, starving himself and his attempted suicide followed a few months later my older sons motorbike accident resulting in a broken back) I struggle to hold everything together and put one foot in front of the other. There might be a million ways things could be worse, but if I'm struggling to cope, telling me, or telling myself that things could be worse makes me feel like I shouldn't be upset or not coping. I'm grateful for so many things (his broken back didn't affect spinal cord, so no paralysis, and my suicidal son accepted help and has made big strides towards healing) but I don't like feeling like my own pain is being minimized. I was traumatized by my sons suicide attempt and spent almost 8 months getting up multiple times a night to check on him, and needed to accept my own grief in relation to his childhood innocence.
I realize this is a little deeper for this thread, but even the days where I'm just feeling a little low and lonely I struggle not to resent people who think reminding me of all I should be grateful for will stop that feeling.