When mini meltdowns, ruin important events

[Suzanne]

Sunday and yesterday, had me out for most of the day. Sunday, being the worst, since it was very social and I honestly hated it all! To be honest, I cannot stand falsehoods and I could tell that is what it was. It was a wedding anniversary of a couple we have known for some years and they invited us along, which was lovely, but they are the kind of couple that are not the in crowd themselves, and one could tell that the most prominent guests, were not true friends! So, anyway, the cake came out and everyone started to clap and I am sorry, but I just could not join in; seemed inane to clap for a cake!

Monday, was not too bad, but still too long.

So today, was my third driving lesson and I was close to tears, because I felt I was not at my best. He said to my husband that when he gets a new car, he should get an automatic, because he knows I can drive that, but it is too much to drive a manual. I panicked and get confused!

Friday, I am going again and this time, get to drive a "real" car but automatic, to see how I fair.

I am just so disappointed about today!

 

[Lealea]

I know this feeling to well, I've had a busy day too with shopping and I dont know why but the nicer the weather the fuller the supermarket tends to be, it wouldn't be my first choice of places to go in this heat but unfortunately there's things in life I must do. So after that stress I stop for food at a bakery and sent my partner in they didn't have what I asked him to get so he comes back to the car and proceeded to tell me what they did have, major information overload and I zoned out when he finished I just told him to pick whatever..after eight years he should know what I eat. Then I took the kids to the pictures to see the minion movie and just made it in time after running my partner around to his friends. I'm tired now.

Automatic or manual it's all about the person's preference my sister prefers an auto I prefer a manual. The thing is if you can drive a manual it's easy to drive an auto but not the other way around. It just takes practice and if you want to drive a manual dont let them push you to drive an auto just because it's easier.

 

[Suzanne]

I know this feeling to well, I've had a busy day too with shopping and I dont know why but the nicer the weather the fuller the supermarket tends to be, it wouldn't be my first choice of places to go in this heat but unfortunately there's things in life I must do. So after that stress I stop for food at a bakery and sent my partner in they didn't have what I asked him to get so he comes back to the car and proceeded to tell me what they did have, major information overload and I zoned out when he finished I just told him to pick whatever..after eight years he should know what I eat. Then I took the kids to the pictures to see the minion movie and just made it in time after running my partner around to his friends. I'm tired now.

Automatic or manual it's all about the person's preference my sister prefers an auto I prefer a manual. The thing is if you can drive a manual it's easy to drive an auto but not the other way around. It just takes practice and if you want to drive a manual dont let them push you to drive an auto just because it's easier.

I know the feeling too, when one's partner asked something and yet, wow they should know, but I guess the fact is that perhaps they are a bit confused at that moment too? I do chuckle, even through it is not a chuckle, because that is exactly how it happens with me; my poor husband has to go and get something to eat for me.

Why do you prefer a manual? My husband reckons that once I get used to the roads, I will easily pick up the manual and perhaps he is right, but my instructor reckons not! But to be fair, my instructor said that today he wanted me to drive in town and yet, there were unexpected major road works and other closures and I got confused and panicked, when really, he should have reverted it, but now thinking about it, he thought it was my last lesson and thus, I guess felt it had to be done! He also tried to get me to do some turns using the steering wheel and the accelerator, but I just couldn't do it today. I kept either not turning the wheel or putting my foot down too hard. It felt like: patting one's head and rubbing in circles, ones tummy!!!!

Oh and thank you so much for responding; I admit, I was getting sensitive and wondered why so many looked but no one answered!

 

[Lealea]

I prefer it because it feels more skillful, and I have more control over the speed and power of the car. If I want to push the car a little bit more to get up a big hill I can, if I need a bit more extra speed I drop a gear. Over here if you take your car test in an automatic you can only drive an automatic, if you pass you test in a manual then you can drive both. When I get old and lazy then ill probably be more inclined to get an automatic . Manuals use less fuel so that is a concideration, and manual transmissions are cheeper to repair than automatics but if you have a manual and your heavy on the clutch then that's going to wear and tear easier so that really depends on the car and your driving style.

But at the end of the day your the one who's driving the car and you need to feel confident in doing so. Just give the automatic a go and see how you feel from there.

 

[Judge]

Sunday and yesterday, had me out for most of the day. Sunday, being the worst, since it was very social and I honestly hated it all! To be honest, I cannot stand falsehoods and I could tell that is what it was. It was a wedding anniversary of a couple we have known for some years and they invited us along, which was lovely, but they are the kind of couple that are not the in crowd themselves, and one could tell that the most prominent guests, were not true friends! So, anyway, the cake came out and everyone started to clap and I am sorry, but I just could not join in; seemed inane to clap for a cake!

Monday, was not too bad, but still too long.

So today, was my third driving lesson and I was close to tears, because I felt I was not at my best. He said to my husband that when he gets a new car, he should get an automatic, because he knows I can drive that, but it is too much to drive a manual. I panicked and get confused!

Friday, I am going again and this time, get to drive a "real" car but automatic, to see how I fair.

I am just so disappointed about today!

Total honesty here. I went through HELL learning to drive a stick-shift. My father tried, and he simply ran out of patience. Thank God for my mother, who persevered to see me eventually master manual transmission car. And to this day, I still drive a stick. Six forward speeds even!

Hang in there. There IS a learning curve to driving a stick-shift. Not something likely mastered in a day.

 

[Beverly]

For me , learning to drive was a six hour long panic attack. My cousin Stan taught me to drive and, refused to let me get out of the car, or park for longer than one minute until I learned. That was in a VW Beetle so, was a manual transmission. I hated it and, was beyond panic to furiously angry by the end of that day, but, I could drive and, got my license the next morning.

I hated it at the time, but it taught me that if I really want to learn something new, push, panic if I must, push some more, get mad, none of it matters, just keep pushing until I learn it. As much as my fool brain might think it will kill me, it won't and, I will learn it, my subconscious defenses will make sure I do because that is the only way out of a very bad, horrible situation.

I know everyone can't push through panic attacks, frustrations and seemingly endless failures non stop to learn something but that is what works for me. Learn at your own pace, and ask all of the questions you need to ask. let the instructor get frustrated with you, as long as they explain everything you need to have explained, it doesn't matter what tone of voice or facial expressions they have while doing it.

 

[wyverary]

I drive a manual, much prefer them. Learning to drive on one was hard, and you have to adjust to different cars a bit. I drive up and down a lot of hills, and it gives me a feeling of control.

That said, if you mostly drive in densely populated areas, sticking with an automatic is probably best. It'll keep your foot from going numb and save you a lot of money on clutches!

All that said, I really feel your pain. Look on the bright side: I have a theory that the more anxiety one has while learning to drive a vehicle, the better drivers they turn out to be.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I know that feeling of being simply unable to do something because it's expected. Or manipulated.

I was once in a public speaking group where one of the organizers was a "collector" of people an likewise expected that along with dues, we were also going to do his marketing for him. He stood in front of each person as they sat, close to the end of the session, and held out the business card for us to just take from him.

I could feel my stomach going as rigid as iron, and to this day I don't know why the reaction was so intense. All I had to do was take the card, and to not do it meant public challenge of the silent and final sort. I needed a support group. Can't I just get along?

He stood in front of me and I just could not take the card. I am not to be taken for granted.

The room was so silent that we heard the card drop to my desk.

No one spoke to me as the group broke up. I abandoned them just as silently.

Interestingly, the man has tried to connect with me a couple of times since. I didn't respond. I didn't need his friendship, for in truth that wasn't what he was offering; he merely wanted to connect someone who was good enough at what she did to qualify for his "network." And for his marketing. But not his inner circle.

 

[Suzanne]

I prefer it because it feels more skillful, and I have more control over the speed and power of the car. If I want to push the car a little bit more to get up a big hill I can, if I need a bit more extra speed I drop a gear. Over here if you take your car test in an automatic you can only drive an automatic, if you pass you test in a manual then you can drive both. When I get old and lazy then ill probably be more inclined to get an automatic . Manuals use less fuel so that is a concideration, and manual transmissions are cheeper to repair than automatics but if you have a manual and your heavy on the clutch then that's going to wear and tear easier so that really depends on the car and your driving style.

But at the end of the day your the one who's driving the car and you need to feel confident in doing so. Just give the automatic a go and see how you feel from there.

I get the skillful part, because it is REALLY simple to drive an automatic. But mmm the speed and power? Not so sure, for even with an automatic there is speed control ie with the excellerator. Although I do find it is a hard slog trying to climb a hill!

 

[wyverary]

I get the skillful part, because it is REALLY simple to drive an automatic. But mmm the speed and power? Not so sure, for even with an automatic there is speed control ie with the excellerator. Although I do find it is a hard slog trying to climb a hill!

Yes, this is where a manual is most helpful; climbing a very steep hill, 2nd gear is your workhorse.

This has heretofore gone unmentioned, but I'm increasingly impressed with CVT (Continuously Variable Transmission) technology. Compare a model of car with CVT to an identical with a traditional (say, four-gear) automatic and the improvement in gas mileage is astounding. I got 35 MPG on my dad's Subaru...an SUV!...on one trip to a nearby city.