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Featured What are your aspie fears and how many of you share my own?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Hopeless_Aspie_Guy, Mar 11, 2017.

  1. Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

    Hopeless_Aspie_Guy Well-Known Member

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    1) Afraid of the future and the passing of time as it could bring bad things to my life
    2) Afraid of losing my parents (as I’d be devastated and struggle to cope without them)
    Afraid of depression/anxiety as it can almost mentally incapacitate me for a while and I’m holding back tears
    3) Afraid of growing old or seeing those I know or care about grow old.
    4) Afraid of rejection/failure as it makes me feel inadequate and hits my self-esteem
    5) Afraid of being alone or uncared for (women aren’t supposed to love me and I struggle making new friends)
    6) Afraid of obsessive or self-destructive thoughts that cause chaos in my mind
    7) Afraid of forgetting things and losing my memory (as I live for the things that were once great in my life)
    8) Afraid of attractive women (as I know how my unwanted hypersexual side will perceive them and create problems for me)
     
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  2. kay

    kay Well-Known Member

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    Good timing on this post from my perspective. I woke up late after spending half the night awake with my political fears. I can't calm down and I'm eating so little most days that I am losing weight. Being middle age, female, and in the USA my fears are to some degree justified and are shared to some degree by everyone I know, my therapist included, so how can I be calm?

    I too am certainly afraid of the future (as well as the next few minutes). My sister is sick, my mom in her 80's, my boyfriend much older than me, and a couple of friends as well, three of my friends have diabetes. I worry about all those people all the time. Without them I will be very lonely and can't imagine I could ever make new friends.

    And then I worry about me still not being able to work much and don't know what I could ever do that I can keep up with. I don't have a math and tech brain and have a couple of learning disabilities on top of the aspergers.

    I think most of the fears you list are going to be shared by a lot of people. NT's struggle to some degree with the same fears but obviously the autistic brain, or at least my brain, is certainly well built for extreme anxiety. And then the situations we may find ourselves in are no help.

    Therapists really don't offer much help, either. My current psychologist is a very nice woman who does her best but I don't think she or any other therapist of any kind has any idea how to help people with disabilities and certainly not ASD.
     
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  3. toothless

    toothless this is mr shadow,my support cat V.I.P Member

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    i am LFA and not aspergers/aspie but would like to offer a different view of the spectrum.
    for me,i have no fears beyond the usual-any form of change whether its to my routine,or furniture being moved around or having to attend somewhere new,i live in the moment and dont ever think about fears;example; like my family dying [including my even more beloved pets] but when these thoughts naturally come to my head i just process them then in a logical unemotional way and move on,so i dont really have fears much.

    i have extreme anxiety, almost constant,wasnt this bad in my youth,its my rough life experiences in institutional/residential care and the continuous grooming/cyber bullying that got me sectioned that have led me down this path,i really struggle with it,but again its not because of worries or fears i dont think as i dont think anything,its a feeling-physical and with bad agitation on top.

    i think being LFA makes me more immune to fear,it makes me live strictly in the moment,and this is one of the qualities i have,people think there arent any good sides to LFA,my experiences would prove them wrong i think,its just because they think of big mainstream things when they think of 'qualities' and 'skills' like driving a car,buying a house,having a proper job etc.
     
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  4. DudBomb

    DudBomb Active Member

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    All of the above.
    And this. I don't feel my fears cause my anxiety. It is more like instincts gone wild. Like a deer caught in the headlights of an eighteen wheeler.

    Before I was diagnosed I had one job where most of my coworkers were female. I was very self conscious, and found myself frequently holding my stomach in. After a couple of months, I couldn't go into the building without involuntarily holding in my stomach. The pain from doing so eight hours a day, got to be excruciating. I eventually quit.
     
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  5. toothless

    toothless this is mr shadow,my support cat V.I.P Member

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    i feel totally the same,its so crushing isnt it? do you get any medication for it? i am on around 8mg haloperidol as the anxiety in me causes severe challenging behavior.
    i also get PRN lorazepam,and i smoke CBD oil which helps take away the physical feeling of anxiety...plus,ive been taught mindfulness by quite a few people that really helps to,have you tried mindfulness before,dud bomb?
     
  6. Rich Allen

    Rich Allen Well-Known Member

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    There's only 2 major things I'm scared of, Snakes and cold Showers, I hate Showers in general though, would much rather have a Bath if possible.
     
  7. NeoPhile

    NeoPhile Can I get a "Bright not Broken"?

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    I'm afraid of dentists. I'm missing three teeth, and yes, I'm afraid of losing my parents as well.
     
  8. Nemo

    Nemo Open mind, guarded heart

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    Scared of anyone going through childbirth/pregnancy, scared of spontaneous human combustion, scared of entering dark rooms, scared of being assassinated.
     
  9. WildCat

    WildCat previously known as jonathan V.I.P Member

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    Wasps. Absolutely, no shadow of a doubt horrified by wasps. If you wanna see me play princess, bring those little demons over and let's have some fun!

    Can't really think of anything else that scares me as much as that.
     
  10. DudBomb

    DudBomb Active Member

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    I was on buspirone for about five years. The last two, over maximum dosage. I couldn't tell that it made much of a difference. I believe my anxiety was progressing faster than the increases in dosage.

    I have always had a high tolerance to both physical and mental pain. I don't see this as a good thing because pain is a reaction to injury. This can allow injury to continue unchecked, leading to worse problems than feeling pain.

    If by mindful you mean meditation, living in the present, accepting the thoughts that come, not judging whether or not they are right or wrong, then yes. It works good at home, but when I'm in a social situation, it goes right out the window. It is like being better at something while drunk, that you learned while drunk. I forget the term used.

    I get frustrated when people ask what I am thinking when my anxiety is at it's worst. It's hard for me to explain to someone who doesn't know, that there is no internal thought connected to my anxiety. It is a feeling, not in words, that I am losing control, unable to take in enough information to make a proper threat assessment, even though I don't experience thoughts of being threatened. I begin to sweat, easily distracted by movement in my peripheral, feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, blank mind, forgetfulness, doing my best to get out of the situation as quick as possible.
     
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  11. Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

    Hopeless_Aspie_Guy Well-Known Member

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    My Grandma turns 80 this year and whilst I'm not quite as worried about losing her as I am my own mum, I can certainly say that her age somewhat troubles me because she is still valued by me second only to my immediate family. I manage to avoid thinking too much about that one somehow which is good.
    The end fear of loneliness is something I certainly relate to and is the unfortunate selfish fear at the end of it.

    I don't fear showers, but yes I rarely have them and always prefer a bath (even though a shower is quicker admittedly).

    It saddens me a bit when people aren't close enough to their parents to care and yet if they're depressed and perhaps don't even have friends to turn to either then I do worry for them and I know that must apply to some people on here.

    Yer too often people think their needs to be a specific issue for someone to be upset, depressed or anxious (and to a degree their are always things that contribute) but often it's just the raw feeling itself rather than the context that keeps you down.
     
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  12. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    I'm afraid of heights, loud noises, some social situations, and being lonely (because I'm not great at making friends). Used to be scared of small spaces but got over that the last time I went caving. I've never really been scared of death/ old age, or of people dying, I cope very well with that sort of thing.
     
  13. Rich Allen

    Rich Allen Well-Known Member

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    Forgive me for being flippant, but you're not going to be the next US President, I wouldn't worry too much about Assassination, Assassins tend not to bother with people who aren't famous or Politically powerful.
     
  14. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    I suppose that depends on the sort of life one leads, and how much they may choose to "flirt" with controversy. Assassination isn't just for chief executives or those solely in the public domain. It's another way of expressing murder with aforethought- in particular with a political motive. This can involve those who facilitate abortions, as well as women who seek them. Neither being those with any notoriety or necessarily wanting as such.

    Example:

    Throughout his career, Tiller was a frequent target of anti-abortion violence. In June 1986, his clinic was firebombed. While it was being rebuilt, Tiller displayed a sign reading "Hell no, we won't go". On August 19, 1993, Shelley Shannon shot Tiller five times, while he was in his car. At the time she attacked Tiller, Shannon had been an anti-abortion activist for five years and had written letters of support to the convicted murderer Michael Griffin, who had murdered Dr. David Gunn. She called him "a hero".

    Tiller was fatally shot in the side of the head on May 31, 2009, by anti-abortion extremist Scott Roeder during worship services at the Reformation Lutheran Church in Wichita, where he was serving as an usher and handing out church bulletins.

    George Tiller - Wikipedia
     
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  15. Nemo

    Nemo Open mind, guarded heart

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    Look, I don't think I'm going to be assassinated. I know it's an irrational fear and it was mostly when I was younger.
     
  16. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Oh... I'm just pointing out that it can happen to people who aren't even in the public domain. But the odds still remain remote of it happening to much of anyone. Quite different than stepping out onto a busy street without looking.

    My irrational fear? Constantly making sure all doors are locked and worrying that every time I park my car it will get stolen. But then if it happens it won't be the first time.
     
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  17. tdrfreebird

    tdrfreebird Active Member

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    I share most of your fears. Additionally:
    -Afraid my life's goals and dreams will be unrealized
    -Afraid that I am unlovable
    -Afraid I have nothing to offer to a woman, or anybody really
    -Afraid I am beyond repair, and will remain defective until I die
    -Afraid that my worst self is just actually who I am, my purest self
    -Afraid that I will eventually lose all empathy for people and become a sociopath
    -Afraid I will turn to hard drugs in order to cope
    -Afraid I will die still living with my parents
    -Afraid I will eventually kill myself
     
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  18. Full Steam

    Full Steam Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    That's me too.

    I'm not sure it's exactly a fear for me, more like anxiety about people messing with my stuff.

    I get it when the kids are in my study, and I would never leave my car unlocked when I pay for petrol, even though it's pretty safe here.


    Death I'm OK with, and most other fears. I know I'll go on afterwards, and life's not to be taken seriously.
     
  19. Azul-Infinito

    Azul-Infinito Active Member

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    I like it! I was reading about Buddhism today, and made me think that a life of real truth and real happiness it has f#%$ all to do with things like car, house, job . I think self actualization is a more real path to happiness .
    Not that ive attained self actualization or enlightment... but Im workin on it.




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    My Biggest AS fear is that my Spock like hyper logic makes me too blunt. That in turn makes me feel like my personality is abrasive, when i really am a well meaning person. I obsess about this all the time.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2017
  20. Caelix3

    Caelix3 Well-Known Member

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    Scared of being raped.
    Scared of some men.
    Scared of water.
    Scared of heights.
    Scared of bugs.
    Scared of bloody mary.
    Scared of the dark.
    Scared of being alone.

    Probably loads more of fears, but these are just some I could think of.