The many faces of colleagues

[Lifesahaze]

Does anyone else find colleagues really difficult to cope with?

I work in an open plan office, although have managed to get the corner desk which is great. Generally I get on ok with colleagues, although I'm really struggling with the culture at the moment. There are three people close by me, and they're all very pleasant... to your face. But each of them has bitched about the other two when they're not there.

As an example, one (say A) has been bitching about B not answering the phone, would never use the phone etc. Then to B's face she'll say that she shouldn't be expected to have to answer all these enquiries on the phone! Don't get it, never will. Which one is correct? What A said to B, or about B?

There just seems to be lots of this today and I'm finding it hard to cope with. Each time they go into a little huddle I wonder whether they're bitching about me - part of me says not to care and part of me is getting very paranoid.

 

[Suzanne]

To answer the question of the female talk ( sorry I just hate using the form: b*t*c*), actually A is in fact right, because it is at work and thus, every call should be answered.

But if I were in your situation, I too would be like you, but because I am not, I can look at it and see how it is.

Why I have never been able to work in that kind of environment; way too stressful for me.

Personally I would just keep yourself to yourself. I am learning, even though it is a dfficult lesson to learn, that you cannot please everyone and just recently I read this from an aspie.

I used to enter a room and wonder if anyone liked me.

I now enter a room and wonder if I like everyone.

I bounce between the both; which is a huge improvement, because it was only ever the first one.

 

[Lifesahaze]

Thank you - sorry about my use of the word. I agree she's right that the phone should be answered, but just really don't get why she said something different to the person's face! Just... grrr.

I really like those two statements - they're amazing! Thank you, it's a great way of looking at things.

 

[Suzanne]

Thank you - sorry about my use of the word. I agree she's right that the phone should be answered, but just really don't get why she said something different to the person's face! Just... grrr.

I really like those two statements - they're amazing! Thank you, it's a great way of looking at things.

No apologies needed. I just don't like using those terms; but that is me.

Because it is easier to talk behind someone's back that to their face.

Your moto should always be to build up and so, if she talks behind your back, then it can only be positive.

Yep, I love them too ie the statements.

 

[Kirsty]

I think B is right. I don't answer every phone call. If they really needed me, they'd leave a message. I have a life and I'm not grounded to work all the time.

 

[xudo]

I hated working in an office. I can't do small talk and if I'm really honest, I actually don't care about your personal life and what your kids are doing in school this week. It's not just a female thing either (although far more common) as I've known men who were worse for bitching than women!

 

[Kirsty]

I've known men who were worse for bitching than women!

There's very few of them.

 

[Bolletje]

Men are the bitchiest, gossipiest critters on earth! I prefer men to women though
I'm getting on well with my fellow students for now, but I'm dreading getting back into the workplace. Not looking forward to forced conversation over lunch breaks.

 

[Judge]

In my experience, overtly competitively workplace environments usually bring out the worst in people- regardless of gender.

 

[xudo]

There's very few of them.

Yeah, I did say women being bitchy is far more common. The men I've known who were, were few and far between but some were far worse than any bitchy women I've known.

 

[Maplelucky13]

Does anyone else find colleagues really difficult to cope with?

I work in an open plan office, although have managed to get the corner desk which is great. Generally I get on ok with colleagues, although I'm really struggling with the culture at the moment. There are three people close by me, and they're all very pleasant... to your face. But each of them has bitched about the other two when they're not there.

As an example, one (say A) has been bitching about B not answering the phone, would never use the phone etc. Then to B's face she'll say that she shouldn't be expected to have to answer all these enquiries on the phone! Don't get it, never will. Which one is correct? What A said to B, or about B?

There just seems to be lots of this today and I'm finding it hard to cope with. Each time they go into a little huddle I wonder whether they're bitching about me - part of me says not to care and part of me is getting very paranoid.

I work in an open plan office with colleagues, and I find it a challenge not to become anxious about how they perceive me. I find this is particularly when colleagues are reacting strongly to something, or talking in huddles like you say.

I had a colleague who I made friends with, and that helped as I had a person to run things past, as a sense check. I work from home two days a week now which is helpful. Another thing that assists is taking breaks such as popping to get a drink to get away from the floor a bit.

 

[Questella]

In my experience, overtly competitively workplace environments usually bring out the worst in people- regardless of gender.

I don't get why people like competition, I'd rather hide than br forced to compete with people over something stupid...

 

[Judge]

I don't get why people like competition, I'd rather hide than be forced to compete with people over something stupid...

Some private sector managers feel it's more pragmatic to harness peoples' predatory instincts than to rely on them to cooperate with one another in a joint effort.

Under the same roof it just leave employees at each others' throats in the long term. But that's just my observation and experience.

 

[Questella]

Some private sector managers feel it's more pragmatic to harness peoples' predatory instincts than to rely on them to cooperate with one another in a joint effort.

Under the same roof it just leave employees at each others' throats in the long term. But that's just my observation and experience.

I don't feel you can really be in competition and work as a team at the same time, when you're competing people tend to do anything and everything to hurt and hinder the others from progressing

They make no sense

 

[Judge]

They make no sense

That's what I once told my mother when I came home with an extraordinary amount of useless homework assignments. I had a fourth grade teacher who believed in punishing the entire class whenever an individual student did something wrong.

 

[Questella]

That's what I once told my mother when I came home with an extraordinary amount of useless homework assignments. I had a fourth grade teacher who believed in punishing the entire class whenever an individual student did something wrong.

Did you get credit or points towards your grade at least?

 

[Judge]

Did you get credit or points towards your grade at least?

No. But Mom had some choice words for the District Superintendent of Schools.

The practice stopped shortly thereafter.

Luckily they made a point of not revealing the taxpayer who lodged the complaint.

 

[Questella]

No. But Mom had some choice words for the District Superintendent of Schools.

The practice stopped shortly thereafter.

Luckily they made a point of not revealing the taxpayer who lodged the complaint.

Why would anyone do it then? I'm confused, we'll I'm glad they stopped, that's goofy.

 

[Judge]

Why would anyone do it then? I'm confused, we'll I'm glad they stopped, that's goofy.

That's my point. Just because something seems irrational doesn't preclude people from being irrational. Especially when they wield some degree of authority.

 

[Kirsty]

I had a fourth grade teacher who believed in punishing the entire class whenever an individual student did something wrong.

That's how my boss operates these days.