Telling people - Advice please.

[CaveDweller]

I'm sure this subject has been covered elsewhere here but this is where I am at this moment and I would value other people's views.

I'm just recently diagnosed and felt ready, if not slightly keen, to tell people I know about my this. I feel that it is not something I should be in any way ashamed of.

I've told a few people and the reaction has been mixed to say the least. Not I'm not sure whether to just leave it at that.

How have others dealt with this?

 

[Nitro]

I feel it should be shared on a need to know basis. Most of the world is troubled by the word alone and will not understand it at all.

 

[CaveDweller]

I feel it should be shared on a need to know basis. Most of the world is troubled by the word alone and will not understand it at all.

That's what I've picked up. Aside from my sister people have squirmed when I've told them. A couple have asked if I can get medication for it, which seems to suggest they think it is some sort of mental illness.

 

[CaveDweller]

I feel it should be shared on a need to know basis. Most of the world is troubled by the word alone and will not understand it at all.

That's what I've picked up. Aside from my sister people have squirmed when I've told them. A couple have asked if I can get medication for it, which seems to suggest they think it is some sort of mental illness.

 

[Nitro]

I make a point of telling some so they stay away from me

 

[Kari Suttle]

I would share on a need-to-know basis. Most people, unless they have experience with AS/HFA/autism themselves, will not understand and will probably question whether you have it or not. One friend did that to me and the other accepted it but seemed unsure. Granted, i'm not officially diagnosed but my closed-minded parents agree i have it so....yeah. Again, i would share on a need-to-know basis because most people don't get it.

 

[Warmheart]

Need to know, 'cos: I'm adorable enough as it is, why just make people jealous?

Seriously, I need to consider how others may feel hearing this news, how it may affect them. Yes, I am sharing my condition, but people will have their own feelings upon hearing this diagnosis.

There can (understandably) be misunderstanding, fear, aggression, defensiveness, denial etc. (Well, there was when *I* learned I had this! Hah! ) Other people have a right to their feelings on this topic, too.

Before I share, I aim to remember:
1.) I do not need external validation
2.) Any aggressive/nasty reactions say more about them than me. They suffer, and their suffering is spilling over. Composure with quiet compassion rather than defensiveness is key. No need to agree with nasty, but I'll let them feel heard & understood.
3.) Re-orient to my reason for sharing-- "So, here are some ideas to support my challenges that could optimize my job performance/ability to connect well as a romance partner/capacity to be a good friend" etc.

Responses I have gotten include: and .

 

[CaveDweller]

I would share on a need-to-know basis. Most people, unless they have experience with AS/HFA/autism themselves, will not understand and will probably question whether you have it or not. One friend did that to me and the other accepted it but seemed unsure. Granted, i'm not officially diagnosed but my closed-minded parents agree i have it so....yeah. Again, i would share on a need-to-know basis because most people don't get it.

That's what I've picked up so far, that people really haven't got a clue what it is. I've been asked a couple of times if I can take medication for it like it's some kind of mental illness.

 

[CaveDweller]

Need to know, 'cos: I'm adorable enough as it is, why just make people jealous?

Seriously, I need to consider how others may feel hearing this news, how it may affect them. Yes, I am sharing my condition, but people will have their own feelings upon hearing this diagnosis.

There can (understandably) be misunderstanding, fear, aggression, defensiveness, denial etc. (Well, there was when *I* learned I had this! Hah! ) Other people have a right to their feelings on this topic, too.

Before I share, I aim to remember:
1.) I do not need external validation
2.) Any aggressive/nasty reactions say more about them than me. They suffer, and their suffering is spilling over. Composure with quiet compassion rather than defensiveness is key. No need to agree with nasty, but I'll let them feel heard & understood.
3.) Re-orient to my reason for sharing-- "So, here are some ideas to support my challenges that could optimize my job performance/ability to connect well as a romance partner/capacity to be a good friend" etc.

Responses I have gotten include: and .

I think I will just keep it to myself other than people who NEED to know and save myself from getting all of those faces faces you have

Seriously though, your advice and logic is really helpful. Thank you. x

 

[CaveDweller]

Just read this and quite like it. The first two lines kind of answer the question.

“I think when one becomes identified with a label that’ll become all anyone sees; the expansiveness and breadth of the all of who you are suddenly hidden from view. .... Our Western world likes to compartmentalize putting everything into simplistic categories. Now they have such terms as “neurotypical” and “neurodiverse,” separating the entire human population on the planet into two categories. I would say that “neurotypical” is a diversity as well". - Kurt Muzikar

 

[On the Inside]

Responses I have gotten include: and .

Well, I'd tell anyone just about anything for pizza.

Seriously, though, I use the need to know measure as well, and there are very few that need to know. I've thought of telling a couple of my sisters, but I don't think it would matter one way or other with them, so why bother?

I am getting together for a long weekend with some very good, old friends in June, these have been my closest friends in life, but I see no reason to bring it up and cause any possible awkwardness. Although the information would probably help them understand my odd behavior, then and now, I think its best left unsaid.

But then, if we get far gone with drinking, or there's any marijuana, no telling what might come out. I can really become a motor mouth.