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Seeking Advice

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Endoftheroad, Jun 19, 2017.

  1. Endoftheroad

    Endoftheroad New Member

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    Greetings! I am a female in my mid thirties. I met my on again, off again boyfriend online about a year ago. He has Aspergers and he also has conversations out loud to himself. My friend encouraged me to join this forum because I am finding myself getting tired of not only being placed last, but also being disrespected.
    For one, he is rude and cold. When you try to explain things to him, he flips out. Days later, he comes around as if nothing happened and will say yes, you were right.

    He's. Wry selfish. He's against premarital sex but tries to engage in foreplay. Once he's achieved his goal, he leaves me feeling like a cheap piece of meat.

    He is manipulative. He constantly calls and texts when he needs something but he's never there for me.

    He informed me that once he moves into his own home, he wants to date other women, but he wants me to be committed to him. Why should I be committed to you, when you are only using me for your present, but not your future.

    I guess I'm in a state of emergency. I long for companionship so much because I lost my fiancé 2 years ago and I don't want to be single forever. My hopes in joining this is to get advice from others to make sure I've explored all options. I have been more assertive with him and it helps, but it's hard to tell if he's interested or if he's using me. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Questella

    Questella Well-Known Member

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    Bleh, he just sounds like bad news for you. :(
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. JackSkellington

    JackSkellington Active Member

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    He sounds like a horrible person. From the sounds of it- he is using you. It's probably for the best to stay away from him.
     
  4. Keigan

    Keigan Restless Mind V.I.P Member

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    Um, run the other way.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  5. Keigan

    Keigan Restless Mind V.I.P Member

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    To add to my post, and please observe this; you did not mention a single constructive thing about this guy other than him coming around a few days later....

    Be aware that aspies love a challenge.
     
  6. Sportster

    Sportster Aged to Perfection

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    I'm inclined to agree with the others. He sounds like bad news; and based on what you've shared, I don't see any potential for improvement. Don't compromise your standards in order to fill present void. Satisfy loneliness through other venues until "Mr. Right" comes along. Don't settle for Goofus when you can have Gallant.
     
  7. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Exactly. Sounds like you have already figured this out. ;)

    Just because he might be on the spectrum doesn't make any of this right.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  8. Endoftheroad

    Endoftheroad New Member

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    You guys are awesome. It's like I have an angel in one ear and a devil in the other. I can without a doubt say I'm making excuses for him because he has Aspergers , but I find it hard to believe that he doesn't know his being manipulative. His mother is a psychiatrist and his father is an attorney and they have pushed me to kept trying but I feel like I'm lowering myself to be walked over.
     
  9. Questella

    Questella Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like aspergers is the least of his problems honestly.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. Dadwith2Autisticsons

    Dadwith2Autisticsons Well-Known Member

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    Yes he is interested in you, as he wants to use you until he can find someone better.

    I would start looking now for another that shares your same values. What is more important to you, companionship or being treated that way?

    I suspect there is more to it than an Aspie condition. If I had a lawyer and psychiatrist for parents maybe I would be talking to myself out loud too. Some traits may have come from there.

    Regardless, way too much baggage. There are tons of others guys who would be better fits.

    Whatever your interests are, and personality desires are for a man, target those places where you would mostly find that.

    Hang out there, but do not seem to needy from the surface, and those nicer guys should come, if they know you are single but just like socializing with different people with similar interests.