Ruminations

[LostInSilentHill]

I'm going in circles. First I obsessed whether I was an Aspie or not. Then I got a diagnosis. Then I was thrilled and relieved I had answers. Then I started questioning it. What if they got it wrong? Then I come on here or go to my support group and I once again feel it's right. Repeat. I'm hoping to stop this cycle and just accept it and stop questioning it.

This happens to me too, a lot. I wonder if they got it wrong if maybe I'm just over exaggerating, or making things up; I know I'm not, but I still wonder. I've always done this, even as a child and it drives me nuts but I can't figure out how to get my brain to stop. Even at night, I ruminate about everything until I fall asleep. Wish I had a pause button for it.

 

[Adora]

When I was told I was on the spectrum by my psychologist when I was 31 i had a mixture of emotions,while it didn't shock me i started to reflect more on myself and started looking for answers as to why it took so long for someone to pick it up,I have read the letter that I have from my psychologist numerous of times to help me get a better understanding of myself and it does help me to try to be more at peace at myself and not to be so hard on myself for who I am but my brain doesn't like to give me a break and i always ponder about things like what ifs and I also have issues of shutting down those thoughts at night since my brain doesn't like to take breaks.

 

[On the Inside]

The story is the same for me, Aster. I was diagnosed recently and am in my 40s. I haven't read all of the replies here, but I'll tell you what I did, and perhaps it'll be a solution for you. To keep myself from wasting time, going over all of my diagnosis materials and research again and again (which I did many times), I wrote a 1-page letter to myself that I read whenever those doubts creep into me. At first, I read it every morning and sometimes many times in a day. Slowly but surely, I've had to read it with less and less frequency and now only need it once every couple of weeks. The letter can say whatever you need it to say --write it during a time when you are most confident of your diagnosis. I hope that can work for you.

One of my therapist

The story is the same for me, Aster. I was diagnosed recently and am in my 40s. I haven't read all of the replies here, but I'll tell you what I did, and perhaps it'll be a solution for you. To keep myself from wasting time, going over all of my diagnosis materials and research again and again (which I did many times), I wrote a 1-page letter to myself that I read whenever those doubts creep into me. At first, I read it every morning and sometimes many times in a day. Slowly but surely, I've had to read it with less and less frequency and now only need it once every couple of weeks. The letter can say whatever you need it to say --write it during a time when you are most confident of your diagnosis. I hope that can work for you.

I read the dossier from my diagnosis three or four times a day for two weeks upon receiving it. It was loaded with information, all of which matched my true self image.

Trouble is, unlike a diagnosis for a disease, injury or other medical condition, there's not some proscribed treatment plan or medication regimen given. Here, you go, this what's wrong, now you're on your own again.

Reading the report over and over, I was hoping to find a clue as to what to do next, as well as trying to see how the details of the assessment might help explain all the baffling experiences in the past.

 

[paloftoon]

For me, I never questioned it. The question for me was if it was worth it to try to get a diagnosis in my mid 20s. I was never able to use it for the next 11 years or so besides a few small grants. I am so grateful it has helped me now. People can understand and believe it a bit more. At the same time, I function so well overall that I can't and don't want to use it as an excuse for the social blunders I do make. Also, in the same token, I want people I can connect well with to give me multiple chances. Fat chance most of the time, right? haha. That is what I ruminate about more- how I can minimize hurting relationships that would otherwise probably be good rather than if I'm on it or not.

Also, is it possible to get along in these multiple groups without feeling like I'm being judged unfairly as an independent person myself (pretty much)?
1. independent people on the spectrum (especially if interests are complimentary - kinda rare)
2. people on the spectrum living with their parents
3. independent NTs
4. NTs living with their parents