Overly emotional response to someone snapping at you

[NothingToSeeHere]

Does anyone else have totally overreactions to someone snapping at you?

I can't bear it, I don't really know why (I struggle to identify my own emotions), but if someone snaps at me I will normally burst into tears, even in public. It happened in the middle of a busy office at work once, so mortifying! I will then keep crying about it on and off for the rest of the day, and often the day after, and will still be thinking about it weeks later. This is even when I know that the person who snapped was probably upset or stressed over something else, or when the situation has been long since resolved.

Does anyone have experiences like this? Or advise on how to manage it?

 

[Catlover614]

I tend to overreact to snaps myself. When I get snapped at, I cry and wonder,"what did I do?" More often than not, it's THEM with the problem...not me. But, still, crying is an appropriate response to hurting. I've often been told that I need to suck it up and I don't agree with that because the more you suppress your emotions, the more you end up with resentment and bitterness which poisons us. It's healthier to feel the hurt, cry, and then move on to something that's positive. Watch a funny tv show or listen to your favorite song.

 

[Suzanne]

Yes, but not openly!

 

[SameStars]

That can sometimes be the final drop, when I already feel overwhelmed and saved up on emotions.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I usually spend a bunch of time thinking of sarcastic things I could have said back to them.

 

[Judge]

Just the opposite. If anything I'll under-react and consistent with my monotone voice.

 

[Ronin82]

When I get snapped at, I definitely either shut down and cry, or go into a blind rage. Thankfully, the shut-down/cry response is more common. It sucks, I keep telling people not to yell at me, and they don't listen...I'm learning to not associate with people who can't respect my very necessary behavioral boundaries. The response strength has actually gotten worse over the years, so I can't tell you how I cope. Basically I usually shut down the interaction and go hide so I can cry in solitude, or I find a brick wall to punch if the anger response is triggered. Depending on who did the snapping, I may go back later after calming down to discuss the situation and work through it together in hopes of avoiding a similar situation in the future, or I may just let it go by realizing that person had a bad day and needed someone to take it out on and I just happened to be standing there. Its nothing personal.

 

[Mia]

These are triggers from unresolved childhood difficulties that people internalized. If a parent or even a teacher treated a child that way, without patience, it often startled the child and made them fearful. Later as adults, they, in a moment of anger repeated the same process.

Have responded to this at different ages by crying, walking away, becoming angry and even violent. My mother did this, as well as the nuns at the convent, think I may have grown up in fear of their impatience. For a short time I treated my spouse in the same way, but I eventually understood that he was as hurt by it, as I had been. So I stopped doing it. It's one of those behavioral inheritances that need not be passed on.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

That can sometimes be the final drop, when I already feel overwhelmed and saved up on emotions.

Same here, I react far worse if I have been very stressed or anxious, the snapping makes me 'snap' and it all just comes pouring out. If I was otherwise in a good mood I'll be able to cope with it for a while, but it will lead to a build up of emotions and then later something really silly will cause the inevitable emotional response.

I usually spend a bunch of time thinking of sarcastic things I could have said back to them.

Oh yes I do this to, if they were being unreasonable. I just wish I was able to think up witty responses at the time instead of hours later!

 

[Adora]

Yes I definitely do the minute someone is snappy at me I cry I am pretty sensitive to when people do that and I don't have control of it when I begin to cry,when I start really crying I will go on for ages which is both draining and makes me feel ill afterwards.

 

[Rayner]

I tend to under react emotionally when some snaps at me I'm not exactly why I do this. I think it's a combination of having autism,my screwed up childhood and my personality.

 

[wanderer03]

I do not like being snapped at either.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Yes I definitely do the minute someone is snappy at me I cry I am pretty sensitive to when people do that and I don't have control of it when I begin to cry,when I start really crying I will go on for ages which is both draining and makes me feel ill afterwards.

Crying often makes me feel ill as well. I know it's a healthy emotional response, but I just wish it didn't leave me feeling all light headed and sick afterwards! Not to mention that I am a very ugly cryer

 

[WereBear]

I take everything directed at me very personally and I struggle to get over it. However, in the moment I just freeze up and try to be very logical.

 

[Turanga Veela]

It depends on how overwhelmed I'm feeling myself, at the time. Well, and how comfortable I am with the person. Like if my husband and I are together in a stressful situation, and he snaps at me, I snap back, and sometimes that spirals out of control, into an angry snipefest.

But if a superior or someone else snaps at me, I usually just stuff it down and obsess over it later.

 

[NovaScotia Aspie]

I am usually appalled when someone snaps at me because I almost never do it myself. I might not say anything immediately but the other party always receives the message loud and clear that I didn't appreciate it and won't tolerate that kind of behavior. I can take almost any kind of criticism but do it in a calm rational way.

 

[Mathalamus]

Usually, i underreact to people snapping at me. or i make a joke out of something. its only if i am seriously angry or something that i snap back.

if i am the one to snap, its usually because someone said something very badly wrong.

 

[cowgirl0915]

That happens to me all the time. Sometime I can feel it about to happen others I can. What helps me is to talk about everything that happens or something I am try to do is writ down what I am feel.

 

[Paiva]

I can't stand it either. I do sometimes cry when people snap at me, but usually only when I'm close to a meltdown anyway.
Most of the time I try to avoid the person for a while. That way we can both calm down a bit.

The best advice I can give is to try and get away for a little while. In most situations you can go to the restroom, if you have no where else. Take some deep breaths and think about something else. It's never your fault if people snap at you, so there's no reason to analyze what you did wrong. Just retreat for a short while and let it go. If possible, listen to some music or do something else that you enjoy.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I am usually appalled when someone snaps at me because I almost never do it myself. I might not say anything immediately but the other party always receives the message loud and clear that I didn't appreciate it and won't tolerate that kind of behavior. I can take almost any kind of criticism but do it in a calm rational way.

I think that's one of the reasons I hate it so much. I have never snapped at anyone, and I never would, I just don't process and express emotion like that, and am too concerned with others feelings. I can't understand what motivates people to treat others like that and as such don't know how to react appropriately.

I can't stand it either. I do sometimes cry when people snap at me, but usually only when I'm close to a meltdown anyway.
Most of the time I try to avoid the person for a while. That way we can both calm down a bit.

The best advice I can give is to try and get away for a little while. In most situations you can go to the restroom, if you have no where else. Take some deep breaths and think about something else. It's never your fault if people snap at you, so there's no reason to analyze what you did wrong. Just retreat for a short while and let it go. If possible, listen to some music or do something else that you enjoy.

Yes I often retreat to the toilets or some other isolated area to have a break and try and calm down a bit. Having others around with demands or asking what's wrong just makes everything much worse!