Off comes the mask

[Shawn D]

Over the last few weeks, I've begun to bring down my mask of "normalcy" and have started to think about what I really like, and not just what I'm supposed to like as an adult.
I've reignited my interest in art and bought myself a sketchbook and colored pencils and started drawing again. Last week, I even grabbed some crayons and coloring pages at the Children's Hospital and colored while we wait for our daughter to go back for surgery.
I also bought myself some glittery Goody hair clips intended for kids, because, gosh darn it, I like things that sparkle.
I am definitely feeling more liberated now that I'm just letting myself be me and not putting on airs for everyone else.
Has anyone else felt freer since figuring out you've got Asperger's?

 

[DogwoodTree]

Have you tried oil pastels? I think they're more fun than crayons, and you can smudge them to get different effects.

 

[Shawn D]

Have you tried oil pastels? I think they're more fun than crayons, and you can smudge them to get different effects.

Not lately, but I remember I really liked using pastels in high school. I would make landscapes by tearing construction paper, coloring along the edge with pastels, placing the torn edge, pastel side up, on plain paper, and then taking a paper towel and smudging the pastel onto the fresh paper. The result was really nifty.

 

[DogwoodTree]

Very cool!! Gotta show my kids how to do that...that sounds like fun.

Having kids is a great excuse for playing with toys, lol. DH and I both enjoy buying Hot Wheels cars "to add to the boys' collection", or experimenting with new toys (kids these days get all the cool stuff!). We've got way too many toys in the house mostly because DH and I enjoy buying them so much!

 

[King_Oni]

Hard to pinpoint if it's just because of my AS, since a lot of things happened at the time I got my diagnosis.

At the time of the diagnosis I was at that point where any option for education was long gone (no funding for it), jobs seem a stretch in general... so I guess, it all culminated to where I figured "I better just do something I like rather than mope and do what society expects of me, since that's clearly not going to work out". And a lot of stuff I like is probably not really the responsible adult thing. In the past few years since my diagnosis I did have a different approach to any of the arts I engage in, perhaps due to less time constraints... which is pretty much me; I just need that idea of "unlimited time".

 

[Naturalist]

I can absolutely say that learning about Asperger's has helped me to find my own identity. Before I confronted this aspect of myself, I never felt I had a solid sense of self, because I was always trying to find the "correct" way to think, act, etc. Now, if I say or do something that gets a strange reaction from others, I can reflect on it and perhaps understand their reaction, because I know that others think differently from me, and I can better explain my own position. I can observe my statements and actions and realize, "That was so 'aspie' of me" but not in a bad way--it usually makes me laugh, rather than becoming frustrated with my alleged "shortcomings" I am aware of my quirks and grateful for my abilities. Not everyone around me thinks it is a good idea to be less focused on projecting the "correct" (socially acceptable) image, but I have found I am less stressed and not so readily prone to meltdowns. Also, I am having a lot more fun because I get to indulge in conversations with others who share my interests, and I deliberately make time to relax alone with those interests, which is something I need.

I am glad you have rediscovered art!

 

[King_Oni]

I can absolutely say that learning about Asperger's has helped me to find my own identity. Before I confronted this aspect of myself, I never felt I had a solid sense of self, because I was always trying to find the "correct" way to think, act, etc. Now, if I say or do something that gets a strange reaction from others, I can reflect on it and perhaps understand their reaction, because I know that others think differently from me, and I can better explain my own position. I can observe my statements and actions and realize, "That was so 'aspie' of me" but not in a bad way--it usually makes me laugh, rather than becoming frustrated with my alleged "shortcomings" I am aware of my quirks and grateful for my abilities. Not everyone around me thinks it is a good idea to be less focused on projecting the "correct" (socially acceptable) image, but I have found I am less stressed and not so readily prone to meltdowns. Also, I am having a lot more fun because I get to indulge in conversations with others who share my interests, and I deliberately make time to relax alone with those interests, which is something I need.

I am glad you have rediscovered art!

Yeah, that pretty much sums up my sentiment as well. Less of the "what's acceptable" and more of the "who cares if it's acceptable to others, this is who I am".

I suppose the danger therein lies than one uses Asperger's as a crutch to act out of line... or, what might be more true, that others will perceive it as such.

I will say that I've found more understanding with people when I don't specifically point out autism or anything. I don't care if people think I'm weird... I probably am, yet the notion of being autistic somehow still puts you in a weird situation of discredit I guess. It's like people think you're crazy, as opposed to just have a different way of rationalizing stuff. The moment you mention a disorder (and one many people don't know a thing about) people automatically assume you're crazy and your ideas, thoughts, emotions and feelings are inappropriate...

 

[Suzanne]

I let myself stim more in public. What I mean is that when at a spiritual meeting (Jehovah's Witnesses), I allow my legs to do what they like doing.

If I cannot cope with a situation, like recently, I will say ( gently) that I cannot cope.

What I look forward to doing, and I now think it is due to being a bit overweight, is when out listening to my music, that I go with the flow; lol not excessively, just less shy. The reason I say it is due to my weight, is because since finding out I have heart issues and near diabetes 2, I have made a drastic overturn and losing weight ( not obese, just rather a large tummy) and when I went out, for once, I felt comfortable and it hit me, that looking less "pregnant", I feel more at ease.

I am, what kind people say: cute as heck and what cruel people say: weird and babyish. I get excited basically, when someone shows kindness. I recently got a much wanted cross stitch pattern and was handed over the said pattern, and was pretty enthusiastic; again not barmy just happy! Ok, I admit, I can be like a child when excited. I mean, take my cross stitching. I have found a way to store my silks, as I am using them. Tiny see through pockets. So, every time my husband gets seeds etc, they come in this pocket and he leaves them around for me to find or hands them to me and yep, I love that so much and show my appreciation and well, you can see the pleasure in his eyes.

I may be 45, but look tons younger and am mentally much younger and so, blast it, I am not letting my age dictate how I should behave; I take on my responsibilities as a wife without bulking them, so why not have fun whilst being a wife ie looking after the house?!!!

Here is one aspie who cannot draw to save her life. Funny, because a sister of mine and my brother, are both highly talented as drawers, but I am rubbish!

 

[Judge]

It's inspiring to see y'all harnessing all that positive energy to just be yourselves. To "optimize" being Aspie...rather than defaulting to devoting so much "social energy" to being what we really aren't. So much less stressful.

Having spent almost my entire life with all those masks, it does make me wonder if I could have been more than I am had I applied myself in such a way.

 

[Harrison]

Outside of my work environment (unless I'm alone) I don't use my masks. Personal life is definitely 'what you see is what you get'. That only tends to be a problem if I get stressed or ill as I can stim more, but, as I recently found out, it can also be hilarious.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Crayons really don't get enough respect. They have an amazing range of shades from hand pressure compared to some other tools.

My big relief was finding out the cause of my sensory issues. A little messy wiring is highly preferable to the tumors and allergies random people were suggesting I had. =)