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NT privilege

Ylva

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Far from everyone is like that, of course, and I think it's more useful to think of "people who do think this way" and "people who don't think this way", but that's what this blog post talks about. Not written by me.

I’m Not Sick: A rant about neurotypical privilege. | Feminist Aspie

I am autistic, and I’m sick of neurotypical privilege.

I’m sick of hearing that I and others like me can’t live a full life. We can, and we do. We just need a little help sometimes.

I’m sick of being told my experience isn’t real, that I’m just an attention-seeker or a special snowflake, or having those accusations directed at my parents.

I’m sick of the myth that vaccines cause autism. And even if that were true, I’m sick of people avoiding vaccinating their children because they’d rather they get ill or even die than be like me.

I’m sick of autism being compared to cancer and AIDS. The latter two are diseases which can and do kill. Autism is not.

I’m sick of hearing that autism is an “epidemic”. The reason that more people are diagnosed with autism now is that there is so much more awareness regarding autism. The numbers will probably continue to increase for a while, for that reason.

I’m sick of being told I have to pass for neurotypical to be liked and accepted by my peers. I have a great circle of friends who are really understanding and supportive. If people judge me for not being neurotypical, that says more about them than it does about me.

I’m sick of hearing that stimming is a bad thing. If it’s not hurting anybody, I don’t see what the problem is. And if rocking and flapping and twitching is what’s going to stop me having a meltdown, that’s what I’ll do. I’m sick of being told in one breath that you have to learn to cope and in the next breath that you can’t do that to cope.

I’m sick of being told not to scream after I’ve screamed at a sudden loud bang. Emphasis on the word sudden. It’s not like I thought about it and made a conscious choice to scream.

I’m sick of the people around me saying “Stop that, it’s embarassing” or “That must really annoy your friends” when it doesn’t. I’m especially sick of that under the guise of “We’re used to you, but other people…” when they seem to have more of a problem with it than other people.

I’m sick of all this driving me to a meltdown and then being told that that’s embarassing too.

I’m sick of “quiet hands”.

I’m sick of most of the “treatment” for autism being based on making people on the spectrum pass for neurotypical, rather than social skills or advocacy or something else that might actually solve some problems. I’m sick of living in a society in which the most important thing, above all else, is to comply.

I’m sick of conditioned compliance.

I’m sick of literally greeting people with apologies because of the constant fear that I’m screwing up, that I don’t know how to comply. Everyone who knows me is sick of it, too.

I’m sick of struggling to make minor decisions in public (like what to order for food) because there’s only one right answer, only one way to comply, and I’m sick of not believing people (at the time) when they tell me they really don’t mind what I choose. Again, everyone who knows me is sick of it. Everyone is sick of conditioned compliance, so it seems.

I’m sick of being spoken for.

I’m sick of all the media, the panels, all the publicity surrounding the autistic spectrum focusing on people who aren’t actually on the spectrum – the family, the friends, the “experts”, everyone but the person who knows what it’s like. I don’t want to attack all those people – they’re usually well-meaning and really want to help, and please keep fighting the good fight – but seriously, an all-male panel discussing sexism clearly isn’t a good idea, and I’m sick of people not seeing that an all-neurotypical panel discussing autism isn’t a good idea either. Especially when they don’t listen to people who are actually on the spectrum

I’m sick of not being listened to because I don’t have a child or another relative on the spectrum. I amautistic. Is that not enough?

I’m sick of being treated like a child.

I’m sick of people telling me I’m “not really autistic” because I’m not like another autistic person they know. It’s called a spectrum for a reason. This counts double when they’re a child; if I’m a lot older than them, of course I’m going to be more able with some aspects of life, autism or no autism. Nowadays, I rarely have public meltdowns and I can follow the major social rules (e.g. personal space), but I’m sick of people assuming this also applies to my childhood. It doesn’t.

I’m especially sick of the above when the person telling me I’m “not autistic enough” isn’t on the spectrum themselves. How is it logical that I’m “not autistic enough” to know what I’m talking about, but you’re qualified when you’re not autistic at all?

I’m sick of functioning labels and the assumptions they carry with them.

I’m sick of the assumption that people who are verbal are “high-functioning” and people who are non-verbal are “low-functioning”.

I’m sick of people on the spectrum being told they’re either too “high-functioning” to know what they’re talking about, or too “low-functioning” to know what they’re talking about.

I’m sick of worrying that people won’t understand my needs because I’m apparently “high-functioning”. Similarly, I’m sick of the potential of other people on the spectrum being ignored because they’re apparently “low-functioning”.

I’m sick of being told that Asperger’s syndrome isn’t “really autism”. I’d imagine that people with PDD-NOS are sick of being told the same about that.

I’m sick of the constant thought that one day, there might be a pill or an injection that could wipe out people like me, that could turn me into the norm, that could make me comply, that wouldn’t care that most of my personality is eradicated along with it.

I’m sick of being told I’m selfish for not wanting such a cure, and that the people telling me I do need a cure are somehow not selfish.

Autism isn’t a sickness. Neurotypical privilege is.
 
The only thing is, that if I focus on this very much, it makes me sick. I hope I'm not seen as a traitor to admit that I need to focus on positive things most of the time.
 
The only thing is, that if I focus on this very much, it makes me sick. I hope I'm not seen as a traitor to admit that I need to focus on positive things most of the time.

Of course not. These issues need addressing, but that's not the same as worrying about them all the time. Enjoying life is important too – otherwise, what's it all been for?
 
After the initial "preach on, sistah!" reaction, my next thought was "oh great, now all those sissies are gonna pop and start going on about how all autistic people are violent mass murderers and any time we get peeved about something we'll never be taken seriously because 'it's just all in our crazy killer heads' and we need to learn to control our emotions." Why can't a person ever just be angry because a situation sucks? With her being a female writer, she also gets the chance of being dismissed because she's "just being hormonal".

I won't say I hate people. There's a lot of good people out there. I will say I hate dismissive, better-than-thou, over-controlling people who say everybody has to be just like them and anybody who isn't is inferior.
 
Really, it comes down to non-disabled privilege. I'll say this, I'm sick of being treated like a mongrel dog by the NT world. This is one of the reasons that I became a truck driver. I only have to deal in that world briefly and I my office mostly has a view that cannot be best.
 
"oh great, now all those sissies are gonna pop and start going on about how all autistic people are violent mass murderers and any time we get peeved about something we'll never be taken seriously because 'it's just all in our crazy killer heads' and we need to learn to control our emotions.

Bending over backwards didn't work. Time to try some pushing back.
 
After the initial "preach on, sistah!" reaction, my next thought was "oh great, now all those sissies are gonna pop and start going on about how all autistic people are violent mass murderers and any time we get peeved about something we'll never be taken seriously because 'it's just all in our crazy killer heads' and we need to learn to control our emotions." Why can't a person ever just be angry because a situation sucks? With her being a female writer, she also gets the chance of being dismissed because she's "just being hormonal".

I won't say I hate people. There's a lot of good people out there. I will say I hate dismissive, better-than-thou, over-controlling people who say everybody has to be just like them and anybody who isn't is inferior.
It's already happened. An irresponsible journalist wrote an Op Ed speculating that Dylan Roof is autistic. That made me upset because Dylan Roof is most likely sociopathic. Autism is a neurological condition, not mental. Irresponsible reporters do the world a great disservice.
 
Really, it comes down to non-disabled privilege.
I definitely agree, and it's part of the reason I dislike the term "Neurotypical" to begin with. A good deal of neurotypicals are facing their own struggles, ones that I don't think are any less significant than what we face as being on the spectrum.
 
I'm not an activist nor a talented writer but if I were, I'd write an article or Op Ed pointing out what wyverary and wanderer03 both said above. This media babbling and soapbox-ing has really gotten to the ridiculous and alarming stage of misconceptions and judgements. Maybe Dr. Oliver Sacks could write it.
 
It's already happened. An irresponsible journalist wrote an Op Ed speculating that Dylan Roof is autistic. That made me upset because Dylan Roof is most likely sociopathic. Autism is a neurological condition, not mental. Irresponsible reporters do the world a great disservice.


Indeed. I actually cringed almost as a reflex response when I heard of those murders. Thinking right off someone would bring up the subject of autism, whether it was warranted or not.

Another issue that is increasingly bothering me is how autism is becoming an aspect of pop culture. Computer geeks/superheroes out to save the world. Why can't we be depicted like other social minorities as just plain folks?

Stereotypes getting out of control, whether coming from Hollywood or news headlines.
 
Get ready for my usual drum-beat.

I nodded my head all the way through the article, but I'd still rather see more proposal of solutions than declarations of complaint from the spectrum community. If we're sick of anything, it's obviously up to us to change it. Nobody cares about this stuff but us. The first thing I always think of when I read blog posts like this is that the author is preaching to the choir. So great, we're all in the same boat. We can continue pointing that out to each other, or we can actually try to row the thing in a direction.

I'm still waiting for the self-advocate whose missives end with a call to action of some kind.

I don't mean to be a downer, but I just don't find these things very useful.
 
Get ready for my usual drum-beat.

I nodded my head all the way through the article, but I'd still rather see more proposal of solutions than declarations of complaint from the spectrum community. If we're sick of anything, it's obviously up to us to change it. Nobody cares about this stuff but us. The first thing I always think of when I read blog posts like this is that the author is preaching to the choir. So great, we're all in the same boat. We can continue pointing that out to each other, or we can actually try to row the thing in a direction.

I'm still waiting for the self-advocate whose missives end with a call to action of some kind.

I don't mean to be a downer, but I just don't find these things very useful.


You have a fundamental point. Complaining about something isn't a form of activism. What would be an appropriate catalyst for the autistic community to get "the ear" of Hollywood or media editors who primarily pander to the entertainment appetite of the public?

The right tv script perhaps? I still remember the series "Life Goes On". Where we learn that people with Down Syndrome can lead happy and productive lives. Now we're learning about G/L and transgendered households on the Family Channel. Surely WE have a place here...somewhere.

And in terms of outright activism, does the Rainbow Coalition acknowledge autistic people as part of their movement? I have no idea. Guess the learning curve is harder for me, realizing only in my 50s that I belong to a social minority. :eek:

One thing for sure, as long as we limit our thoughts to our own community, no one outside it will likely hear our concerns.
 
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You have a fundamental point. Complaining about something isn't a form of activism. What would be an appropriate catalyst for the autistic community to get "the ear" of Hollywood or media editors who primarily pander to the entertainment appetite of the public?

The right tv script perhaps? I still remember the series "Life Goes On". Where we learn that people with Down Syndrome can lead happy and productive lives. Now we're learning about G/L and transgendered households on the Family Channel. Surely WE have a place here...somewhere.

And in terms of outright activism, does the Rainbow Coalition acknowledge autistic people as part of their movement? I have no idea....


NBC's Parenthood was the best and most realistic depiction of Aspies I've ever seen in fictional television. I don't think more fictional TV is the way to go, however. It would take one heck of a plot/cast for the general public to be interested in the reality of AS in a central character as opposed to the quirky super-genius stereotype. A reality series would be interesting, but nobody's going to want to produce a show about Aspies like most of us here, and we're the ones who are most ignored in media and medical literature.

I've been combing through what advocacy groups there are now, looking for what isn't really happening that should. I'd love to say that once I'm settled in the UK I will be able to dedicate some serious time to spearheading something myself, but it would be foolish to presume I'll have the luxury in the foreseeable future. I'm intent on working towards something eventually, though. It's going to take time, as well it should. If anybody wants to be involved in a PM discussion to do some general brainstorming, with the understanding that this isn't going to happen overnight, I'd be happy to start one. My involvement in activism has spiked again since the Charleston shootings, and as I sit through meetings I'm paying close attention to approaches that could be modified for our use.

Edit: Rainbow Coalition as in the old Jesse Jackson vehicle that has since embraced other social justice causes? If so, not yet. I have some ties there, though. I should bend a couple of ears.
 
News reporting is dramatized because it increase's viewers and readers. It's a very competitive business and accuracy doesn't seem to matter that much. Treads start that insinuate certain groups, are guilty of all kinds things. I believe that we have become subject of one of these treads.
 
A round table discussion on public television be one idea. The contrast between someone like this so called Feminist Aspie and others Slithytoves :) like you, and several others such as JE Robinson, a couple doctors and/or neuropsychs, & get one of these journalists who have been spewing the misconceptions?
 
News reporting is dramatized because it increase's viewers and readers. It's a very competitive business and accuracy doesn't seem to matter that much. Treads start that insinuate certain groups, are guilty of all kinds things. I believe that we have become subject of one of these treads.


It's a critical concern, as fact can be so conveniently interwoven with fantasy these days. We need to move back into the realm of real people rather than Sheldon Coopers, Walter O'Briens or even girls with Dragon tattoos.
 
Edit: Rainbow Coalition as in the old Jesse Jackson vehicle that has since embraced other social justice causes? If so, not yet. I have some ties there, though. I should bend a couple of ears.


I'm not even sure he's all that much affiliated with such causes theses days. I really don't know, other than to point out the unrelated scandal with his son must have taken its toll on him personally and professionally.

These days whenever I think of the "Rainbow" I think primarily of GLBT causes rather than those of race. But then I spent a great deal of my adulthood in San Francisco.
 

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