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Not sure if aspie guy asked me out on date

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Essie2727, Feb 16, 2017.

  1. Essie2727

    Essie2727 New Member

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    He's in my class but we only talk at school. Its been only a month I know him. So the other day he was showing me a picture of some place on his phone. It was like a pub type place. He then says " I can show you it next Friday " . I interpreted this as him asking if I wanted go. Then he said for me to think about it.

    I am not sure if this is as a friends thing or a date thing. Pardon my ignorance but I always thought that aspies were a little shy or too scared to " ask a girl out ". The thing is I am not a very social person and hate public places such as bars, the movies, nightclubs etc. Im scared he won't believe me when I tell him I dont want to go because its " not my type of place".

    Im not the typical " NT " as you guys call it. Im probably the biggest loner you will ever meet. Most of my time is spent indoors doing school work , studying. The only people I speak to is my family. I have two close friends that I text sometimes and when we do see each other its just for a dinner type thing at their houses. Im a social person at school meaning I talk to fellow classmates randomly but outside of school my social life is non exististent and I like it that way.
     
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  2. OkRad

    OkRad Well-Known Member

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    That is a bit vague, but I would say it definately was his creative way to ask you out!

    you can see if he brings it up again. If you are brave, you can say you would like to see the pub, or you can say you would love to see it but hate pubs but you have a better place you would like to show him and tell him about a place you like!

    Let us know what happens!
     
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  3. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    Whether he asked you out on a date or asked you to go as friends, he definitely offered to take you there. I'd say go! It might be less overwhelming if you go together. Or if you don't want to go, tell him you appreciate the offer but don't really like bars. Come up with a counter-offer of a place you would like to go.

    As for Aspies being too shy to ask someone out: Some of us are shy, sure, but we can also be pretty direct. I know I decided pretty young that I wasn't going to pine after someone in hopes they would pick up some hints and ask me out. When I like someone, I ask them out, traditional gender roles be damned. If that person declines, I have my answer and don't pursue them any further.
     
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  4. Peatsmoke

    Peatsmoke Furiously sleeping indigo restlessness

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    I don't know what he meant by it, but that definitely sounds like something I might've done in school (unfortunately that was well before smartphones were invented). And it would mean I was asking her out. Anyway, the line between "close female friend" and "potential girlfriend" was pretty blurry when I was a teenager...

    As for the pub: do you know if it's a particularly quiet pub? I can't imagine he's really fond of crowded, noisy places, any more than you are! Can you think of anywhere else that you could meet, apart from your house or friends' houses? What about outside somewhere? Bit cold, maybe, if it's winter where you are... Or a library?? I used to work in one - it was used as a meeting place for all sorts of people, but still pretty quiet and "unsocial".
     
  5. Essie2727

    Essie2727 New Member

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    The pub seems pretty unique. Basically its a pub/board game place. It looks like a library. You have a hugeselection of board games to choose from and you go sit down and play and while you play you can order drinks and food.
     
  6. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Sounds to me like a very low key way to ask you out. Interesting description of the place. Could be fun...who knows? :)
     
  7. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    Sounds pretty relaxed, as pubs go! There are a few of those kind of pubs in the city where I live, these pubs are usually relatively quiet compared to regular pubs, and the atmosphere is a bit more cozy and relaxed. It's also a great place for a date, because playing a board game together gives you something to talk about while simultaneously providing you with a distraction from constantly overthinking the date and the conversation. At least, in my opinion.
     
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  8. Essie2727

    Essie2727 New Member

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    Lol I think you might of convinced me to go. For some reason reading the line " atmosphere is a bit more cozy and relaxed" makes me not scared of the place like I was before. I will let all of you know how it goes. Probably will not go next week but the week after.
     
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  9. Destinyz12

    Destinyz12 Active Member

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    I wish there was a pub near me like that. It sounds like an inviting place for those that prefer more low key hang-outs. Where are you from, out of curiosty?
     
  10. Essie2727

    Essie2727 New Member

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    UPDATE : So I did go to the place with him and had lots of fun. I feel so silly that I was scared to go. Thanks Bolletje again for your " convincing" reply. We are planning to go back and go to other places in the nesr future.
     
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