Managing unhealthy obsessions

[ayoungaspie]

I'm sure many of us have had to deal or are dealing with rather unhealthy obsessions. I tend to have a special interest as well as being anxious about something at the same time. You could argue that I have generalized anxiety, but that's another story. For example, in the past I have had an obsession about my height and measuring it all the time because I may or may not be done growing.

At the moment it is a particular group of people who I have become focused on, and strongly desire to be friends with them (in the past I have been friendly with them to a level, but not close friends). It has become obsessive to the point that a lot of the time I am analyzing it and wondering what I should do. It is constantly at the back of my mind and I guess that isn't healthy. I know that if there is something I can do about the worry I should do it, and in the meantime stop worrying, but it's easier said than done for us Aspies.

I'd just like to hear anybody else's own experiences and how they might deal with unhealthy obsessions. It would be good to be able to put things like this to one side instead of it affecting my day to day life.

 

[Haller]

No straightforward answer to this, given that I go through the same all the time. What I can tell you is to be patient. It used to kill me when I was younger. Now, at 36 years old, I've just learned these obsession don't last forever. They seem to choke u for days, weeks, even moths. Then, they'll go away. What I do is try to focus on something else, hopefully healthier & more productive. It's easy to look for comfort on unhealthy things, such as fast food or alcohol. You know it's typical of us aspies/autists to develop strong attachment for certain topics. You could google special interests and get absorbed in one of them. Getting obssessed with acceptance in a social groups can be really mind-wracking. Replacing that fixed idea would be awesome. By the way, I'll tell u something else I've learned through the years- There is certain pleasure & comfort in being alone. Just smile & don't try to force yourself in a social group. I've been working for years at the same place & only now I've started to be a little more open to coworkers. You have to understand that it'll never be easy or fast, but you'll find the way if you are patient. Thanks for sharing your experience!

 

[umbrellabeach]

I think I can relate to this... at least somewhat. I love classic Disney cartoons and characters, but when people use them for disturbing things, such as bathroom humor (as they've done to Mickey recently), I get really fixated on that and anxious about it because that's not what I want to associate them with - yet I can't stop obsessing over it for the longest time. As for how I deal with it... I do dwell on it for a while, naturally, and trying to stop the thoughts is useless for that time, but if I don't see anything related to it for a while, I start forgetting. Watching the character's other works - like the old classic cartoons, in Mickey's case - also helps because I remember that there's more to these characters than the film(s) I don't like.
Now that I've thought about it, your problem and mine are probably vastly different, but the title and your description caught my attention so I'm just putting this out there. I think this unhealthy obsession of mine is a result of my upbringing - my parents were obsessed with all things bathroom while I was growing up (they kind of still are), and as a result they were very disrespectful of others' privacy, thinking all their kids should be as open about it as they are. So I guess people using such stuff on my beloved favorite characters triggers a reaction in me similar to that of the verbal rape I went through as a kid and teen. I don't like seeing my friends (aka those characters) treated with such disrespect. Other people just brush it off and laugh. I ruminate on it for a long time and sometimes get so anxious I can barely eat.

 

[Haller]

Umbrellabeach has a point. Avoid the object of your obsession/fixation and you'll start focusing on something else after a while. It your obsession doesn't go away, remember to be patient. Aspies wouldn't have it this hard if we could just be more patient. You have to embrace who you are and then will even start laughing at yourself. I think that might be the point when you'll finally be done with guilt & obsessive feelings. Just as there r people genuinely making fun of their own weight, baldness or even their stuttering, why not learn to have some fun pointing at our obsessive interests? This is something I'm dealing with right now.

 

[Suzanne]

I have generalized anxiety. And get anxious with an obsession. I am aware of it being an obsession and taking up a lot of time, and so, get anxious because I know I am wasting time, which is pretty precious to me!

I had not thought about it before, but I must be obsessed with my lack of height, for it is very painful to me, to be only 5ft3ins. I cannot cope and feel horribly inferior when confronted with tall females; strangely enough, not chaps. Perhaps because my husband is close to 6ft. No matter how I try to be blase and just accept I am small, it doesn't work.

I am obsessed with the aging process and yes, with utter shame, I have to stop myself staring in horrified fascination at other people's lines and freak out, knowing that I am going to end up like that pretty soon.

I obsessed that I was not going to reach 40. For a whole year, I was convinced I was going to die before or on the 20 of December ie when I was born. I am now 45!

At first, I was HORRIFIED and sickened when my husband pointed out with utter glee that he spotted the first grey hair; he is nearly 10 year's older than me and started going grey at 29, when I met him and so, he was feeling, I guess that at last, his wife is catching up with him! But it destroyed me and I kept looking and looking and wishing the grey to disappear! I am a red head and so, the bits of grey are more white! I have now, though, taken on a philosophical view now, because the bits that I comb out of my hair, are thicker and stronger than my hair and so I have a little chuckle and think: well, Suzanne, at last, you may have your wish and have luscious and strong hair ( my hair is very fine and fly away ie static). It is cruel, that the grey should be better than my normal colour ie ironic. So, with colour being so easy today, all I have to do is dye my hair my colour, since it seems to be a favourite lol Yes I am vain, even if I am not all that much to look at!

 

[rache86]

I certainly know what this feels like. Mine are inappropriate when they are about people... Massively unhealthy. And they can be difficult to avoid at times! Do you think forcing a new obsession works?

 

[ayoungaspie]

Is it really that painful to be 5ft 3 as a female? I think it's a LOT worse to be short and male. I'm just 5ft 4in (well maybe 5ft 4 and a half). Whether I like it or not I'm going to face stigma in my life because of that fact. The female equivalent of that would be more like 4ft 11.

 

[tree]

I am 5'3."
I was considered a tall little girl. Age 10 =5'2."
After that when people were taller than me, I just figured
I was regular and somehow....they were overgrown.

This item about weight has taken my attention.
The average American woman now weighs as much as the average 1960s man - The Washington Post

No wonder everybody looks heavy/large to me.
Everyone seems to be so much thicker than I am.
I am half the weight of the 'average' American female.

 

[wanderer03]

I'm sure many of us have had to deal or are dealing with rather unhealthy obsessions. I tend to have a special interest as well as being anxious about something at the same time. You could argue that I have generalized anxiety, but that's another story. For example, in the past I have had an obsession about my height and measuring it all the time because I may or may not be done growing.

At the moment it is a particular group of people who I have become focused on, and strongly desire to be friends with them (in the past I have been friendly with them to a level, but not close friends). It has become obsessive to the point that a lot of the time I am analyzing it and wondering what I should do. It is constantly at the back of my mind and I guess that isn't healthy. I know that if there is something I can do about the worry I should do it, and in the meantime stop worrying, but it's easier said than done for us Aspies.

I'd just like to hear anybody else's own experiences and how they might deal with unhealthy obsessions. It would be good to be able to put things like this to one side instead of it affecting my day to day life.

I have one that is unhealthy that I just will never EVER act on as I'll risk grave repercussions that would make life infinitely more difficult. If I got discovered, I would be faced both with being a felon and an autistic. That is the proverbial double whammy! I think most folks have the occasional thought about a deviant act, after all, curiosity is part of the human nature. I don't think having these interests or obsessions is bad or good but acting on an unhealthy one is very poor decision.