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Letting go of figuring it out

WereBear

License to Weird
V.I.P Member
I read something on Captain Awkward that really spoke to me this morning:

My happiness in social situations increased a lot when I moved from asking ‘what is the cause of this poor behaviour/situaiton?’ to ‘do I want this behaviour/situation to be happening & what can I do about that?’​

Exactly.

I get way too caught up in trying to figure this out, like a puzzle or a mystery book. When I don't need to. I just need to deal with it in some way... which might have nothing to do with actually figuring it out.

Will try to focus on that and see what happens.
 
First I monitor.
Second I deal with it.
Thirdly and later, I look for the root cause so I can better manage in the future.
 
I read something on Captain Awkward that really spoke to me this morning:

My happiness in social situations increased a lot when I moved from asking ‘what is the cause of this poor behaviour/situaiton?’ to ‘do I want this behaviour/situation to be happening & what can I do about that?’​

Exactly.

I get way too caught up in trying to figure this out, like a puzzle or a mystery book. When I don't need to. I just need to deal with it in some way... which might have nothing to do with actually figuring it out.

Will try to focus on that and see what happens.
Oh, I totally relate to that!! I do it with television and commericials, too. I have sometimes wondered if it would be more useful for me to focus less on these things and on something else, I had been thinking "less on details, more on big picture", but what you have said here is more specific for me to think about.

Not to mention, though this analysis is very instinctive, it seems to leave me more miserable and stressed. I have actually developed furrow lines between my eyes specifically from furrowing my brow trying to figure out the trainwreck (imho) situations that I see among people - real or on TV. I also do this with myself, but I guess I immediately thought about the way I analyze other people and their interactions.
 
the bible says take the mote(speck of grit ,speck )out of your own eye before you take it out of someone elses eye
translation you need to change concentrate on changing your faults
hard to accept as autism makes you very rigid
 
I can't imagine I would ever take the grit out of somebody else's eye. I am pretty sure that people wold not appreciate having their delicate sensory organs prodded by my fingers.

But the whole notion of solving a problem without first dissecting it, it makes practical sense but also seems very uncomfortable. I have always felt that one should thuroughly understand a problem before rendering a solution. Moreover, I believe in understanding merely for the sake of understanding. Perhaps this attitude is obstructing more practical concerns.
 

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