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Ladies: What is Your Definition of a "Nice" Guy?

Cali Cat

Femme Ferale
This question was asked by another member in another thread. I thought it seemed like a question worthy of its own thread.

So, ladies, here's an opportunity to state your opinion on what constitutes a "nice" guy in the romantic sense. Perhaps your thoughts on this will be of benefit to some of our gentleman members who are unsure what this term implies from a woman's perspective.

I'll start with my personal belief. A nice guy is one who is respectful, courteous, thoughtful, kind, loyal and genuine. He can be a smartass from hell and opinionated as all get-out, but if he meets the criteria above, he still falls into the "nice" category with me.

For me, it's more about a man's actions than his words anyway. If he treats me well and doesn't give cause to mistrust him or his intentions, then what he says isn't a huge factor.

Listen to me when I'm talking, be interested in my well-being, tip the waitress fairly, talk to the animals, stand by a set of principles. Those things are more important to being a "nice" guy than telling me whatever a guy thinks I want to hear.
 
A nice guy in the romantic sense... Hmmm...
I have a problem with the wording, as it seems quite a few guys equate "romance" with "sex". If a guy's only interest in me is sex, he isn't a nice guy.

A nice guy; in general; is kind, and interested in me in a person and treat me as an equal.. He will want to spend time with me, do things with me, (not necessary extravagant or expensive things: walking the dog is good.), consider my feelings and opinions. He will have a good sense of humour and respect himself and others.
Cruelty is never nice.
 
I think of my Father and my Husband when I consider the qualities of men. Honest, trustworthy, reliable and loyal, along with that the ability to be kind and caring of others around them.

And of course the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound:)
 
Patient, loves nature, non-violent, very physically affectionate, loyal, intelligent, open-minded, protective of me, reasonably confident, not a sociopath, tolerant of my eccentricities, and knows when to tell me to shut the **** up. ;)
 
Well being a man an all. I hope my thoughts are on what a "nice guy"constitutes may be of some of useful to you ladies. I would say being chivalrous, well mannered, intelligence, a gentlemanly, worldly, well read. Would all be traits of a "nice guy" what do you ladies think of my list?
 
Well being a man an all. I hope my thoughts are on what a "nice guy"constitutes may be of some of useful to you ladies. I would say being chivalrous, well mannered, intelligence, a gentlemanly, worldly, well read. Would all be traits of a "nice guy" what do you ladies think of my list?

In relation to the term "nice," I would see chivalry, good manners and being a gentleman as traits of a nice guy. Intelligence, worldliness and being well-read are certainly desirable qualities in a man, but not so much a representation of his character. Though, I suppose they in some way might contribute to his self-confidence and make him a better person because he feels good about himself.

More and more, I've come to the conclusion that the best method of determining the heart of any man or woman is to observe the way they behave around animals and small children. "Nice" people in general treat children and animals with kindness and respect.
 
I cringe at the nice guy term...as the phrase brings bad memories back....Oh! you are such a nice guy I love you But!................un-said( I want to dump you so I can go find a aggressive exciting bad boy).
Followed by the sound of puking and engagement rings tinkling on pavement.
some exaggeration for effect.
No insult worse than a girl calling you nice ....it is the Kiss of Death.

I have seen little evidence the Ladies actually want a nice guy even tho they all say they do.:rolleyes:

Sorry! ladies old dating wounds:(
 
I definitely do not fall under the "nice guy" category then, because I share hardly any of those characteristics. BTW typing a message on an xbox controller is F***KING slow and frustrating... f**king ****. I do lie occasionally but never about anything major .. like I might tell my significant other I only had 3 beers when in reality I've had 8 or 9.
I'm not abusive physically but I can get quite verbal and say things I regret. I'm not a pursuer either, I barely have enough energy to get out of bed let alone chase a women that would in all probability find a guy like myself ugly & repulsive..
 
I definitely do not fall under the "nice guy" category then, because I share hardly any of those characteristics. BTW typing a message on an xbox controller is F***KING slow and frustrating... f**king ****. I do lie occasionally but never about anything major .. like I might tell my significant other I only had 3 beers when in reality I've had 8 or 9.
I'm not abusive physically but I can get quite verbal and say things I regret. I'm not a pursuer either, I barely have enough energy to get out of bed let alone chase a women that would in all probability find a guy like myself ugly & repulsive..
Your posts here seem to indicate a nice person. I've got nvld, get stressed toward meltdown when not enough time spent alone, have really bad verbal response myself, (hnece my comment above about being told to shut the *** up) and mostly felt ugly & repulsive too. I am striving for a balance point where I reject society's unfair and nonsense demands and assessment of my appearance and care for myself nevertheless.

Sorry to go off topic a bit from OP. The term "nice guy" as society in general uses it is different (!) from how I as a non-conforming literal minded aspie female - use it. I use it to mean a person who is reasonably, generally nice & happens to be a guy.
 
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To me, a 'nice guy' is someone who treats me as an equal, who is honest and open about their feelings, but also is always considerate of others feelings and avoids hurtful actions and words. Someone who is kind, caring, and patient.

As someone mentioned before, being kind to animals, children, and the elderly is a great indication that they are a good person.

Traits that put someone off the 'nice guy' list include: bitterness, jealously, possessiveness, short temper, cruelty, arrogance.
 
I cringe at the nice guy term...as the phrase brings bad memories back....Oh! you are such a nice guy I love you But!................un-said( I want to dump you so I can go find a aggressive exciting bad boy).
Followed by the sound of puking and engagement rings tinkling on pavement.
some exaggeration for effect.
No insult worse than a girl calling you nice ....it is the Kiss of Death.

I have seen little evidence the Ladies actually want a nice guy even tho they all say they do.:rolleyes:

Sorry! ladies old dating wounds:(

I can see what you're saying there, but I'm a woman who truly wants a "nice" guy. I was married to one for 21 years. I stayed with him in spite of his problems because he was so nice. I could have done a lot better for myself in terms of money, intimacy and excitement, but then I'd have to deal with someone not so nice and steadfast. A lot of it depends on how "nice" a woman is too, and just like truly nice guys, nice girls are hard to find. The chances of a nice guy meeting a nice girl and them being attracted to each other is exceptionally slim. Sad, but true.

What really ticks me off is when a guy pretends to be "nice" until you've fallen for him. Then he turns out to be a dick. Then I have to rearrange my whole mental process to accept the fact that the guy I'm interested in doesn't really exist. F**kers wasting my damn time. That's my pet peeve.

Oh ... and when a woman uses the "you're really nice, but ..." line on you, she doesn't mean you're nice. She means you are either gullible and she's been using you for whatever she can get, or she's really not interested at all in anything you have to offer. You being "nice" really has little to do with it. Once again, it has more to do with whether she is "nice" or not.
 
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Personally I have a difficult time relating to terms like "nice guy" and "bad boy". Mostly because the good or bad people see in each other is more often in a very individualized sense rather than solely based on societal standards. That individual chemistry plays a much greater part in this equation than any preconceived notions put forth by society or culture.

If anything I can't help but ponder that both terms were originally put out there simply to define a sense of bitterness by spurned suitors. That if the required chemistry just isn't there, such distinctions really don't matter.
 
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Good point Judge When, as communicating humans we use these descriptive words (nice, bad, affectionate, etc) there is a huge chance for misunderstanding.
They - the words - have been laden with not only society's various meanings but with an individual's subjective meanings. Our intent is to communicate and specifically to share, to expose the inner workings of an often emotional landscape.
Here we can try to temporarily escape the boxes and pushing and shoving of society.
 
Personally I have a difficult time relating to terms like "nice guy" and "bad boy". Mostly because the good or bad people see in each other is more often in a very individualized sense rather than solely based on societal standards. That individual chemistry plays a much greater part in this equation than any preconceived notions put forth by society or culture.

If anything I can't help but ponder that both terms were originally put out there simply to define a sense of bitterness by spurned suitors. That if the required chemistry just isn't there, such distinctions really don't matter.
Well I don't like a lady telling me I'm sweet and nice and she still loves me...and we can be friends Bla! bla! bla!....but she wants to go shopping for guys $$$ some more....o_O
Playing back up boy is Not! happening....:confused:
You don't like the menu fine!....but you get to be off the menu too!
 
I don't think anyone wants to hear that, regardless of reasons given or claimed.
yes and its extra bad when it is at the ring level.....she is marrying a Brazilian presently and I think she was maybe writing him while ask me for a Loooooong! engagement.....she wanted to go (alone) on a mission trip...all of a sudden just before the break up.

Sorry! for hijacking the thread ladies.........I do think a guy should be thoughtful and kind and helpful...I'm not sure those things attract the ladies initially tho.

Aggressiveness, decisiveness, a very strong ability to read subtle female signals seem to be what the ladies like more....narcissistic sociopaths also happen to be good at those things by the way.:confused:

My view is in online dating most of the nice milk toast guys get no hits while the same 5 skirt chasing sociopathic users have ladies lined up around the block...because they look strong and manly and aggressive....but they don't bring the bacon home....just tears....Bad Boys are just plain Bad to the bone.
 

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