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hi david,welcome to AC!
i am glad to see such a positive parent,back when most of us grew up parents were not so understanding,you and many other parents are a pioneer in my view.

i am like your second child,i am still 'LFA' though[classified as 'severely classic autistic until my late twenties,when my behavior stabilized,now moderate classic autistic] i became verbal in my late twenties so your son has still got time yet i think he will be verbal but it looks like you dont need anymore hope you are an awesome parent.

my parents had no hope for me they were told so many negative things including that my mother had caused my autism thanks to being cold which wasnt true [ie,the long outdated sigmund freud 'refridgerator mother' theory],they have plenty of hope for me now though.
a lot of aspies wish they were non verbal for differing reasons but speech is quite difficult for those of us on the spectrum,it uses a lot of energy, i wouldnt wish being non verbal on anyone as it is so frustrating and people dont have anytime to let you explain via AAC,PECS,makaton etc what you want to say.
 
Thanks Lady Penelope. After joining, I have been reading lots of messages in this forum, and we really feel fortunate to be a part of this group. By understanding more and supporting, and seeing the wisdom and different abilities in those on the Spectrum, this will help us parents even more in the future as our sons age and grow further.

David
 
toothless said:
hi david,welcome to AC!
i am glad to see such a positive parent,back when most of us grew up parents were not so understanding,you and many other parents are a pioneer in my view.

i am like your second child,i am still 'LFA' though[classified as 'severely classic autistic until my late twenties,when my behavior stabilized,now moderate classic autistic] i became verbal in my late twenties so your son has still got time yet i think he will be verbal but it looks like you dont need anymore hope you are an awesome parent.

my parents had no hope for me they were told so many negative things including that my mother had caused my autism thanks to being cold which wasnt true [ie,the long outdated sigmund freud 'refridgerator mother' theory],they have plenty of hope for me now though.
a lot of aspies wish they were non verbal for differing reasons but speech is quite difficult for those of us on the spectrum,it uses a lot of energy, i wouldnt wish being non verbal on anyone as it is so frustrating and people dont have anytime to let you explain via AAC,PECS,makaton etc what you want to say.
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I appreciate much this post. Thank You. It is so unfortunate that many here and in life will have parents that either do not understand, or show enough care. Perhaps in many of these cases they feel pressure from others in society to have their sons sons or daughters a certain way, but that is presuming those others are better persons than one with a condition, regardless how mild or severe.

In other cases, they may want their children to be like them, or to follow their own unfulfilled dreams, so when they start seeing that is becoming less likely, they start seeing less positive things. Or other caregivers may just feel they are too busy, or they may be too unable themselves to be a better role model. Regardless, it bothers me, as it reminds me of how my parents treated me because I could not talk or be perfect.

In my case, the lack of talking through my early twenties was not likely because of a genetic condition but some intense social fear from a very poor environment growing up. So, I only partially relate to many of those great persons with Autism and Aspergers regarding any improper parenting. I do understand the stigma from society with having a condition. But, I chose to fight instead of flee.

This meant just finding any positive trait in myself, if others did not believe in me or accept me. This kept buying me time until the strength grew and until I could find nicer persons, when I could start thinking even clearer and having more time to focus on positive things too. This did not mean I was saying I had no issues whatsoever to try to better, but just that I found peace with who I was.

We really have accepted our sons equally, regardless if their same diagnosed conditions show up in different ways. A free sample book chapter is available on our website listed at our profile, for those who want to know about my view on acceptance. Although our youngest 5 year old son Dylan is nonverbal, he is a joy nevertheless. We are confident though he will one day communicate more. If not, we will continue to do our best to make him feel special, too.

I know lots of those with Autism and Aspergers are great with looking at details, or they can be aware of so many things because of their senses. As well, they can be very creative or logical. Maybe this is why I relate in some ways to our sons, as I have some abilities there too. I had one doctor long ago diagnose me with mild Autism. Regardless if that diagnosis was true or not, it would not have made any difference to me.

This is because I try to focus on the good in every person and everything, after looking at all sides to things, and learning from any mistake or wrong, before deciding the best way to handle things. The caregivers that I find that do the best are not only more optimistic, but who are patient, responsible, open minded, empathetic, self-motivated, yet strong enough to take a stand against society, if need be, to name a few.

It is often hard to have all of that in today's society. Thanks again for your nice post. You seem like a great person!
 
Hi Everyone

As I am a new member, I just wanted to say I have just learned about clicking on those karma symbols for messages I receive, too. So thank you for the patience if there was a several hour delay in my rating of your post, or if clicked on a less appropriate symbol, as I am trying to figure out which each symbol means, and so as to how to rate messages most appropriately. And so if I undo any rating, it's just to replace it with a more fitting rating that I just became aware of through trial and error. Soon I will have learned them all and rate accordingly. Thanks.
 
Dadwith2Autisticsons said:
Hi, my name is David. I am a father of two amazing young Autistic children. Yes, they have challenges, but I see all the great things about them, with their special character traits and abilities. Each day I focus on appreciating them and enjoying my time with them.

Life was not always this way. I grew up in a very stressful and traumatic environment, and I became silent because of severe social anxiety. Going to school was tough, yet somehow I managed to get a high school and university degree without talking.

This was the foundation of my strength, desire to help others, write, and for my caring qualities. It's nice to have these forums that care about bringing together those who can relate to Autism and Aspergers, and creating a positive and healthy environment to support these special people!

David
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Welcome
 
toothless said:
my parents had no hope for me they were told so many negative things including that my mother had caused my autism thanks to being cold which wasnt true [ie,the long outdated sigmund freud 'refridgerator mother' theory],
Click to expand...
That was Leo Kanner's original theory. Someone accused Dr. Lorna Wing of the same thing. IIRC, that was a motivating factor for her emphasis in autism.
 
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