Is 'ugly' attractive?

[Professori]

it would seem that some people find certain Aspie characteristics attractive/appealing. We have always been bludgeoned with pictures of what we should find attractive/beautiful/appealing, either through adverts or models or movies, etc. However, is the conventional picture of attractive/beautiful really appealing or just accepted as such because we are conditioned/indoctrinated to accept that which is commonly believed to be attractive?

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' is certainly a very old saying, but there are very few who openly reveal that they don't agree with commonly held beliefs in this regard. In fact, many people have very poor self images/worth because they believe they are unattractive based on what society leads them to believe.

Personally, I do not find conventional 'beauty' to be attractive at all. I find that something which is different or 'quirky', or unusual looks to be attractive - it is difficult to describe, but I know it when I see it.

So, what characteristics do you find attractive/appealing/beautiful in others?

 

[clg114]

it would seem that some people find certain Aspie characteristics attractive/appealing. We have always been bludgeoned with pictures of what we should find attractive/beautiful/appealing, either through adverts or models or movies, etc. However, is the conventional picture of attractive/beautiful really appealing or just accepted as such because we are conditioned/indoctrinated to accept that which is commonly believed to be attractive?

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' is certainly a very old saying, but there are very few who openly reveal that they don't agree with commonly held beliefs in this regard. In fact, many people have very poor self images/worth because they believe they are unattractive based on what society leads them to believe.

Personally, I do not find conventional 'beauty' to be attractive at all. I find that something which is different or 'quirky', or unusual looks to be attractive - it is difficult to describe, but I know it when I see it.

So, what characteristics do you find attractive/appealing/beautiful in others?

Knowledge, something that todays young people do not seem to value at all.

 

[FreeDiver]

Are standards of beauty are so screwed up, that it's net even funny anymore. Take a look at this video below.

Knowledge, something that todays young people do not seem to value at all.

I don't know. With all the college debt out there. They must value it in some way. I myself, value knowledge. But I cannot stand the education system and the way it operates. I know that sounds contradictory. But I believe that knowledge should be acquired by curiosity and application. Not by spoon feeding methods that the established education system does. Why do we even need these expensive institutions, when we have google and the internet. But then again, that's just me.

 

[Professori]

Are standards of beauty are so screwed up, that it's net even funny anymore. Take a look at this video below.

I don't know. With all the college debt out there. They must value it in some way. I myself, value knowledge. But I cannot stand the education system and the way it operates. I know that sounds contradictory. But I believe that knowledge should be acquired by curiosity and application. Not by spoon feeding methods that the established education system does. Why do we even need these expensive institutions, when we have google and the internet. But then again, that's just me.

100% agree with you, and I fail to understand why the education systems seem to be the only ones who cannot see that!

 

[Crossbreed]

As an amateur figure artist/eidonomist, I am thrilled (visually) with conventional/idealized beauty, male & female (and I think that my standards for such are broader than most). For me, this sense was completely independent from attraction unto marriage. It was more about picking the right kind of look when creating a fictional character* (analogous to being a casting director).

I remember when I was single thinking that one is quantitatively more aesthetic, but I am mesmerized by this one...! That process was not objective at all (unless you would factor in pheromones). It wasn't that I was repelled by conventional beauty. It was just that chemistry trumped looks [alone] every time. (Of course, there are still other considerations, too.) Now, that I'm married, that chemistry with anyone else is extremely awkward,** but, at least, I now know what it is (and can excuse myself, if necessary).

*In an effort to make my figures more diverse, I invented a process that I call "theramorphing." I would take a standard male or female figure and "morph" it into a figure that was reminiscent of a particular animal form, such as a fox, lion, horse, etc.

They would still be human, but would give the impression of a particular animal. I have a gallery of such at Light Corps .

**I think that our autistic hypersensitivity may actually amplify this sensation...

edit: replaced incorrect word

 

[Professori]

As an amateur figure artist/eidonomist, I am thrilled (visually) with conventional/idealized beauty, male & female (and I think that my standards for such are broader than most). For me, this sense was completely independent about attraction unto marriage. It was more about picking the right kind of look when creating a fictional character* (analogous to being a casting director).

I remember when I was single thinking that one is quantitatively more aesthetic, but I am mesmerized by this one...! That process was not objective at all (unless you would factor in pheromones). It wasn't that I was repelled by conventional beauty. It was just that chemistry trumped looks [alone] every time. (Of course, there are still other considerations, too.) Now, that I'm married, that chemistry with anyone else is extremely awkward,** but, at least, I now know what it is (and can excuse myself, if necessary).

*In an effort to make my figures more diverse, I invented a process that I call "theramorphing." I would take a standard male or female figure and "morph" it into a figure that was reminiscent of a particular animal form, such as a fox, lion, horse, etc.

They would still be human, but would give the impression of a particular animal. I have a gallery of such at http://fanboyartist.com/u3508-studio-126.html

**I think that our autistic hypersensitivity may actually amplify this sensation...

I like your approach to 'theramorphing'! Ah, chemistry provides a different take on everything - in fact, provides filters through which we see and feel

 

[Nitro]

100% agree with you, and I fail to understand why the education systems seem to be the only ones who cannot see that!

Anyone who falls for the supposed standard of beauty by watching mass media will always be behind the eight ball in my honest opinion. I think that television,media,music and fashions are mostly a way of making money where you put your best foot forward when it is time to make a sale. Ugly or different people are not what they are looking for unless they are going for shock and awe.

The educational systems have been redesigned to dumb down the populace.Where it used to be a challenge to enter the system of higher education,they now pretty much accept anyone who can find a way to pay the tuition. Money talks when it comes to an education because it is just another part of the financial monster it thrives on.

Self-education is worthless in a world that demands validation and formal paperwork to back up the crap they demand unless you have a proven valuable skillset that someone in upper management recognizes and exploits you. I refused to enter that part of the system and cut my own way thru the waves,teaching many along the way and inspiring more to make their own identity count.

Common core education in the public school systems was not put in place to educate the masses,but more in line with making them universally easier to control on a global level. The push there appears to be towards a one world government owned by the elite who chose to run it all. The media is controlled by a same elite group with ideas and rules that are financed by those who want to steer the ship. Anyone who can't see that is destined to join we the sheeple and follow all the lemmings over the cliff.

 

[Gritches]

While the Barbie Doll girls may be pretty, I'm much more partial to facial piercings, visible tattoos, hair dyed crazy colors, stuff like that. Aesthetic beauty isn't actually worth all that much to me. If we have to speak of "standards", my number one is hygiene.

In deference to the Barbie Doll reference: it isn't just a children's toy responsible for the cultural phenomenon whose end product is for the insecurity about physical appearance to be so common as to be a norm, it's society's willingness to accept that as a status quo. Almost fittingly, as a result of the extreme impetus to live up to standards embodied by a plastic doll, you end up with plastic people who don't seem to have much of a mind of their own.

That's why I say give me the Goth, give me the freak, give me someone who has a sense of self beyond what they see in the mirror, someone who's got a story to tell, someone whose company is actually enjoyable; because unless any given Barbie is an exception to what you can typically expect from the dime-a-dozen fake blonde population, I'm willing to bet that there is not one single thing in her entire head that I would actually care to hear her verbalize.

I shouldn't be so harsh, but I'm gonna be. Truth is, it's a horribly sad thing, if you care about the mental and emotional well-being of the individual members of society at large, which we simply must.

 

[Crossbreed]

because unless any given Barbie is an exception to what you can typically expect from the dime-a-dozen fake blonde population, I'm willing to bet that there is not one single thing in her entire head that I would actually care to hear her verbalize.

I think that is reverse discrimination. I don't think someone should be penalized for having popular physical appeal, particularly if they didn't strive to get it in the first place. If their character is honorable, their looks just are what they are.

 

[midlife aspie]

I'm inclined to believe that a woman who fits the conventional vision of beauty is subject to have her own challenges, especially with unscrupulous men. There is no shortage of male idiots willing to shell out good money to exotic dancers who look good. In fact, there is a 'gentleman's' club not far from ISU that employs many girls who attend that institution, who are paying their way by looking good. Folks who don't fall into the 'pretty' category (M and F) need to be more active when looking for romance, as 'looks' are not going to attract. Conversely, since looks appear to factor so heavily with people (men especially), it is fairly easy for those with 'the look' to take advantage of others. I think this whole thing with beauty boils down to human primal instincts, and since we Aspies tend to operate on a more cognizant basis of reality, I feel we are a step up in this regard.

 

[The Penguin]

I do find it silly if someone allow society to define what beauty is. I find many things what society find is beautiful is not for me as most of it is not natural.

For me, the person character is more important to me.

Also, I can find beauty in many woman that this so call society don't consider beautiful at all. I don't find makeup always make a person beautiful at all. I never liked my ex wearing makeup as I felt she look fine without it. But I see it common women wants to wear makeup going to events and might be condition following tradition from generation to generation.

There people also consider a person over a certain weight is not attractive. I'm not one of those people agree with that.

I think people want to follow a society norm might fearing losing family or friends is they don't do so. I know I will cut ties from people won't accept who I want to be with. I'm not suggesting to do the same I'm doing. There might be reason you might not able to do this if your dependent on someone for survival support.

 

[Professori]

I'm inclined to believe that a woman who fits the conventional vision of beauty is subject to have her own challenges, especially with unscrupulous men. There is no shortage of male idiots willing to shell out good money to exotic dancers who look good. In fact, there is a 'gentleman's' club not far from ISU that employs many girls who attend that institution, who are paying their way by looking good. Folks who don't fall into the 'pretty' category (M and F) need to be more active when looking for romance, as 'looks' are not going to attract. Conversely, since looks appear to factor so heavily with people (men especially), it is fairly easy for those with 'the look' to take advantage of others. I think this whole thing with beauty boils down to human primal instincts, and since we Aspies tend to operate on a more cognizant basis of reality, I feel we are a step up in this regard.

That is really my point about being an Aspie - there seems to be a different approach or understanding of what is really appealing, irrespective of what the norm presupposes. That is why I pose the question regarding Aspie preferences. Sometimes simple appreciation is a form of beauty.

 

[midlife aspie]

Ever hear the phrase "He/she has a great personality" in response to an expressed possible romantic interest in someone you haven't met yet? It tends to be code for "they're fat/ugly".

 

[The Penguin]

Ever hear the phrase "He/she has a great personality" in response to an expressed possible romantic interest in someone you haven't met yet? It tends to be code for "they're fat/ugly".

Not necessary. However, different people will have different views on this.

 

[Professori]

Ever hear the phrase "He/she has a great personality" in response to an expressed possible romantic interest in someone you haven't met yet? It tends to be code for "they're fat/ugly".

Yes, have heard that as a cliche - the meaning is sometimes really sad, and even insulting/misleading.

 

[Judge]

The concept of attraction whatever it may truly be based on baffles me at times.

Most of the relationships I had involved some very attractive women. So attractive that at the time their interest in me was bewildering to say the least. In hindsight I think this always was in the back of my mind, wondering with a certain degree of suspicion what they saw in me. I suppose this was yet another factor that ultimately caused me to lose those relationships.

Yet in looking back, I also suspect that the attraction was not physical, but emotional and mental because I didn't relate to them the same as their past boyfriends apparently did. Ways that such women didn't appreciate. Of course in time, the more my autistic and OCD traits came to the surface, the less those other factors mattered I suppose.

 

[stefanos108]

it would seem that some people find certain Aspie characteristics attractive/appealing. We have always been bludgeoned with pictures of what we should find attractive/beautiful/appealing, either through adverts or models or movies, etc. However, is the conventional picture of attractive/beautiful really appealing or just accepted as such because we are conditioned/indoctrinated to accept that which is commonly believed to be attractive?

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' is certainly a very old saying, but there are very few who openly reveal that they don't agree with commonly held beliefs in this regard. In fact, many people have very poor self images/worth because they believe they are unattractive based on what society leads them to believe.

Personally, I do not find conventional 'beauty' to be attractive at all. I find that something which is different or 'quirky', or unusual looks to be attractive - it is difficult to describe, but I know it when I see it.

So, what characteristics do you find attractive/appealing/beautiful in others?

Yeah, quirkiness/strangeness combined with intelligence -- great combo. I have a dear sweetheart who is sun-ravaged and very ill. But, she's uniquely strange, and I'll always love her for her unpredictable nature. She beautiful, to me, as no one else could be.

 

[The Penguin]

Another problem is many retail stores having magazines near the checkout line giving an image that how a person suppose to look like despite most of the time is unrealistic and a edited image.

 

[The Penguin]

I think parents should educate their kids stuff such as in this video is not real beauty.

 

[Nitro]

Another problem is many retail stores having magazines near the checkout line giving an image that how a person suppose to look like despite most of the time is unrealistic and a edited image.

That is a point of sale tactic,they will do anything for a sale