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Featured Is this garbage?

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Rocco, Mar 9, 2017.

  1. Garbage

    19 vote(s)
    82.6%
  2. Accurate

    1 vote(s)
    4.3%
  3. Possible

    4 vote(s)
    17.4%
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. Rocco

    Rocco Wandering Trainwreck V.I.P Member

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    I just finished reading this and maybe my interpretation is way off base, but it seems like a bitter angry person wrote this trash after a break up of some sort. Some of the issues raised are good food for thought. However, I find it pure Aspie bashing. Saying we torture and abuse the people in our lives! I'm waving the bull spit flag on this.

    http://www.aspergerpartner.com/wp-c...7/OTRS-the-burden-on-spouses-and-partners.pdf


    Is OTRS real?
    Is this link biased?
    Am I justified in feeling insulted as an Aspie?
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
  2. MrSpock

    MrSpock fascinating

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    "find it difficult to learn from experience
    cannot assess complex situations"

    Lol. That's the aspie partner? Yes, it's insulting, speculative BS. A few things that ring true for me are there, almost as if thrown in to lend a tiny bit of legitimacy... but so much of it is the opposite of how I see myself as being different from NTs.
     
    • Agree Agree x 8
  3. Nemo

    Nemo Open mind, guarded heart

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    Yup, that about sums it up, @MrSpock . If anything, I feel like I'm the one being traumatised most days.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
  4. StephF

    StephF Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Total and utter bullspit ! I agree with Rocco that this is probably a backlash from an NT who feels let down.

    Insulting and derogatory. Send it to the garbage can :(
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Southern Discomfort

    Southern Discomfort Rambunctious Rambler V.I.P Member

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    Given other people's views on this article I'm going to refrain from clicking on it, I don't want to give these people traffic.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Like Like x 2
  6. pushpin

    pushpin ✩◝(◍⌣̎◍)◜✩

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    It makes me so upset to read that. It's just sickening, really, to demonize others for not fitting into the hegemonic neurotypical mold. It's total bs and most probably written by someone who hasn't yet processed their negative emotions about an ended relationship.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Like Like x 1
  7. pushpin

    pushpin ✩◝(◍⌣̎◍)◜✩

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    Also, hi Rocco! :)
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  8. xudo

    xudo something V.I.P Member

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    I had a feeling I knew what this was about before I even clicked on the link. Someone has talked more in depth about this woman and her stupid, bulls**t theories before. She has a crappy website where she bemoans aspie men. She has basically been hurt at some point, and decided to make money and gain notoriety from tarring all aspies (mainly men) with the same nonsense.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 2
  9. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member

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    It's a vengeful tantrum of someone not seeking insight beyond their assumptions of the autistic perspective.

    The individual is outraged and frustrated from trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole-- and is insulted that the hammering was hard work.

    Relationships with Aspies/Auties can be beautifully successful when our engagement, communication, and interaction are better understood viewed from an ASD, rather than an NT perspective.

    An attempt at banding together in rage without looking deeper makes no sense.
     
    • Winner Winner x 5
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  10. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member

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    Whoops, Hi Rocco!
    And hi PushPin!
    :). :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  11. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member

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    IMG_0422.JPG
     
    • Winner Winner x 6
    • Like Like x 5
  12. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member

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    IMG_0409.JPG

    ;)
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  13. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    "Revenge" websites can take other forms besides involving nude photographs.
     
    • Agree Agree x 6
    • Like Like x 3
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  14. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

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    I cannot pass a vote, because none of the three actually tick the box for me.

    First, I tried to read that link and could only stomach so much.

    I would say this: if one of the couple found out DURING their marriage that they have aspergers, then yes, this article could pretty much be accurate in "some" cases.

    But what if a person KNOWINGLY gets involved with an aspie? That is a totally different story, because they put themselves in the role of apparent saviour of the aspie.

    But even the first one is still way off base, because it has to take a disfynctional partner to continue to react so negativily when it is discovered that all along their partner had a valid reason for how they behaved and thus, should make both partners work together on achieving harmony, where this article is HEAVILY suggesting that it is all one sided. That it is the aspie's fault for all the suffering.

    I was told today, by a spiritual sister, that she highly suspects her daughter is married to an aspie and guess what? He treats her like a QUEEN; he adores the ground she walks on and is very romantic and she feels treasured by him, yet she is an NT.

    The conclusion has to be, that the NT partner is wanting to be a victim themselves.

    I am finding this a lot in my own case. That most expect me to do all the hard work. I should be the one to fit into the NT world.

    I am taking a stand against this and say to them: I have existed in YOUR world for years, so now it is my turn to have down time. Which means that I know longer will accept social gatherings and I achieved this recently. I refuse to go along now, because of the headache it gives me and some noticed and actually accept my reasoning and even more said that yes, ones with aspergers do tend to find social gatherings very stressful.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 2
  15. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I've read through a lot of these websites Rocco, pretty much all of them. One of the common patterns I see on these sites is a lack of understanding of asperger's neurology. An inability to compromise enough. People whether they have autism or not, have to act the way their N/T spouses want them to. If they don't they are being neglected or in extreme cases abused. And I'm not downplaying ill-treatment, abuse of someone is not a trait of autistic individuals. It may be related to other things, as you learn about abusive behavior if it's happened to you personally. So there's more going on here, that hasn't been self-reported by aspies themselves.

    One of many things that I've noticed with these 'autism hate' sites, are the extremes that they espouse. The NT partners are victims of aspies, yet, there is more violence and crime among people without autism than with it.

    Note: Blaming others removes the burden of responsibility from the complainer.
     
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2017
    • Agree Agree x 7
    • Like Like x 2
  16. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    It is quite unfortunate that these sort of "hate sites" can proliferate and masquerade as some kind of medical source to give it an heir or legitimacy when it is simply "garbage" and little else. :(

    To those who utterly unaware of high-functioning autism they may likely continue to follow a line of thinking in that like any relationship it has to be a 50-50 emotional contribution and investment. With no thought to how unrealistic this actually can be with getting involved with someone on the spectrum. That yes, it takes some serious compromise which at times may not be "socially or emotionally equitable" at all.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2017
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 2
  17. BrianaGiselle

    BrianaGiselle New Member

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    Hi. I just read the intro: "at risk _yadayadablahblah_traumatic _X,y,z_" and that's enough for me to pull The Face.
    While I will go back and read as soon as I'm done with this, here's what I think automatically:
    Everyone is responsible for their own level of involvement.
    Regardless of applicable classifications, a person's decision to remain in a relationship with another who's behaviors they find unfavorable or problematic is entirely their responsibility.
    While the paper's observations may be true, it is also true that anyone can get out whenever they want IF they want to. The methods of out may not be pleasurable but starting IN is a choice.
    Creating children with a person is also that person's responsibility. If one is involved with Aspie and isn't pleased I cannot imagine how they might believe adding children to the situation would be beneficial. Seems like a "misery loves company" application.
    Syndrome. Is that what it said? Something something traumatic syndrome?
    [Deep sigh.]
    Is it not personal management ability failure?
    Wellness Management Dysfunction...Syndrome.
    Ok. I'll read now.
    ;-)
     
    • Like Like x 4
  18. BrianaGiselle

    BrianaGiselle New Member

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    EDIT
    "starting"= STAYING
     
  19. Chris Russell

    Chris Russell The Talentless Liar

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    This thread has been very interesting, purely because I had been ignorant of the existence of sites like this... there are several, and yes, they are full of rubbish, and do seem to be written by angry half-wits. It's very disheartening the way that this content is wrapped up in site named in a way to encourage the patronage of families of people with Asperger's. Good job Aspies aren't idiots, or I might be worried that people would be taken in by them...;)
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
  20. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. V.I.P Member

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    The problem that this person has is really very simple, LACK OF UNDERSTANDING! Anyone who gets involved with someone on the spectrum, should at least try to understand them.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Winner Winner x 2
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