Is it crazy to not want to see a therapist?

[tryingtoregister]

Long time since i posted here.. quick backdrop :
I was diagnosed with autism when i was 3 (28 now), it was changed to pdd-nos shortly thereafter when they realized I didn't have a low IQ
I spent several years in speech therapy, occupational therapy, reg therapy.. but then when i was 9 or 10 roughly it was decided I was essentially 'cured' and didn't require any more treatment
Obviously you can't be cured, as times changed and pdd-nos was replaced with spectrum.. and the fact that I always knew something was up, I kind of realized I should have gone back to therapy

But.. I can't bring myself to do it. I kind of get a sort of (possibly misplaced) pride out of handling my issues and anxieties on my own. I talk to and tell almost no-one about my diagnosis, only my mom will ever talk with me about it even then its rare (in fact the reason I joined here is I had an anxiety overload after telling a woman i was interested in about this). I think when I look back I was basically self-medicating with pot and alcohol, two things I rarely ever use anymore. I also was more used to moving then most since I did it often so combined with some light use of substance, i was usually personable enough to make new friends..

The last year or so living in another new place, but without the crutch of substance use, I have been completely socially inept. I find myself unable or unwilling to be in public places around new ppl, and the few that do know me I can't tell what they think of me.. or it might be just in my head.. I'm not sure. Just seems like I lost my ability to function in the world, I'm so much more comfortable alone. I can go days at a time without saying a word and not bat an eye.. I don't think its a problem per-se but I feel more disconnected from the world then I ever was before.

I guess what I'm asking is.. do other people get stubborn about not seeking out therapy? Can I break through this on my own.. I'm just scared what others might think about me if they found out. I have a good job, I graduated college, by all accounts I would be considered a moderate life success for my age I presume, outside of the fact i don't have a family of my own or are anywhere close to that.. Sorry this was so long

 

[ancusmitis]

My experiences with the psychiatric system have ranged from life-threatening to traumatic to merely useless. I did need counselling, and I did get it, but not from a psychologist, and not for Aspergers. So if you think that it's not for you, you're certainly not alone. Doesn't necessarily mean that it really isn't for you, but you're the only one who can figure that out. No one else can tell you whether a shrink will help.

 

[Bird]

I've needed therapy to recover from some of the therapy I have had, but if you can find a good psychologist/psychiatrist/counselor it can be invaluable. It has always been important for me to keep my secrets, and it takes months for me to open up to a therapist, but I adore my current Doctor. However, I was very extremely flatly against it before I started. Outpatient therapy it turned out, wasn't so bad. Just don't get stuck inpatient.

 

[watersprite]

I have sought out and had therapy for a couple of specific issues that bothered me. It helped, but there was always a strange uncomfortable and finally annoying feeling. Also in my opinion by its nature therapy demands a lot of energy. Sometimes I want to do turn inward and work on things other times want to focus on life itself.
Most recently the therapist I had wanted to dig further into family of origin "stuff" and while I understood why, I just had no interest in stirring it up. So I stopped and that feels right for me for now.

 

[Tankgirlboy77]

I kind of get a sort of (possibly misplaced) pride out of handling my issues and anxieties on my own.

haha, yes. This. Me too.

I probably should go back to therapy, but i've actually been putting together my own 'operators manual' for my own mind, which i use to therapise myself. So when things go wrong and I'm confused, i go back to this and go "oh, yeah, that's how my mind works!"

 

[Tankgirlboy77]

I'm just scared what others might think about me if they found out.

Don't be worried about this either, everyone needs help at some point in their lives. Anyone who judges you for this is not worth knowing anyway, in my opinion. Don't worry about other people's ideas of a 'successful life', concentrate on being happy in yourself. That is success enough.

 

[tryingtoregister]

I kind of just wish i could get a pill that would make me more personable for a little bit lol

 

[Beverly]

I didn't have a therapist - I would to this day refuse any sort of "shrink" PERIOD. One bad experience with one cured me of ever seeking them out again.

I did have people to help me learn social skills, how to present myself in public, how to read facial expressions and body language, how to know when I am suppose to speak and when I'm supposed to listen, when to shut up and not give too much information, etc... but those were entertainment industry professionals, not psyco-therapists of any kind.

If you can find the information, put in the study time, find someone to practice with, and a wingman to be on a headset watching and listening, and telling you when to talk and what to say for a while, you can learn to socialize as well as anyone else but, it's basically taking a college course and getting an unofficial degree in socializing for us to do it. It will never come naturally, never be easy and, will always be tiring, draining and very prone to overloading us but, we can learn to do it and, learn to cope with the resulting stress and anxiety overload that becomes unavoidable if you are going to be something of a socialite.

 

[tryingtoregister]

I don't want to be a socialite lol I couldn't imagine having to deal with ppl all the time! I'm just talking about even once in awhile.. Lately almost any interaction has been overwhelming.

I hear you though.. Maybe I would benefit if I told someone so they knew they could help me. Previously though my friends (in previous places I lived) didn't know ab my diagnosis they at least on some level knew it took some cajoling to get me to go out, helped me a little with introductions, didn't specifically hold against me some communication issues, etc etc.. I just don't have anyone like that now. I'm just afraid to tell anyone I guess now

 

[hiraeth]

I don't want to see a therapist. That particular format doesn't do it for me. Regularly sitting down in a room and having this conversation where it's all digging out ME and MY problems which I try to not have hanging around on the surface in my regular life for the sake of being a functional adult - this does way more harm than good.

The way I learn coping skills is by seeking out people (this can and often will be 100% online) who have either been there and done that (mentors) or are currently there and doing that (peers) and engage in a process of exchanging ideas and suggestions that have been attempted in the real world, with a real context that shares enough similarities to be relatable to, but isn't literally my life and therefore is removed enough of psychic intensity to consider calmly and rationally. What has worked for me? What has worked for you? What hasn't worked? What lessons do you have to pass on which I can learn from? In the process of exchanging practical ideas, I may share some of the raw emotional pain with them - but it's not sharing for the sake of sharing, that doesn't really work for me. It's sharing but placed within a well defined context of knowledge acquisition. I asked a question, and here is the background behind why I asked it. Here is my context. Now what's yours?

If I need to share for the sake of sharing, there's the pen and paper. There's the random anonymous blog which I can just spew out into the internet. There are platforms where you can have anonymous text or phone chats with anonymous listeners. Those are sufficient for this purpose.

There is, however, one scenario in which I believe that professional assistance is the best (and possibly the only) appropriate form of support. I would like someone to coach me on my social skills and body language. So, sure, we can sit in a room and have an hour long conversation, and then they can help bring to my awareness things like what my face looks like, what my posture looks like, at any given time, what each of those things are likely communicating to the other person, and if the message is incorrect to my intentions (which it often will be), what kind of changes can I make to make my body language in alignment with my intentions? Watch me try to do it. Keep being patient with me until I figure it out. Keep reminding me in subsequent sessions where I inevitably forget. There is no way for me to learn about these things without another person telling me what's going on, and really.... any friend or peer would get tired of it quickly.

I don't know what that would be called or if there is even a service like that I can access though.

 

[King_Oni]

I've been at therapists plenty of times in my life for all kinds of reasons, yet aside from my diagnosis none of them really solved anything for me (or with me, since you know... they're not fixing your problems, merely giving you perspective).

The last time I was seeing a therapist, back in the summer last year, we came to a point where my therapist told me she couldn't offer me any help (and that's coming from a therapist working in a specialized autism clinic, which I got referred to by the clinic who diagnosed me since they already thought I needed more specialized care), so I'm a bit cynical about help.

Though with my experiences I've also come to the point where I wonder how much I could actually benefit from something in terms of help. I'm probably somewhat stubborn as well, but my AS is less of an issue in general and the main reason I've ended up with a diagnosis to begin with (partially due to depression and being told to visit a therapist when I applied for welfare, after dropping out of school for the 5th time), and I've come to realize that a combination of personality traits along with skillset and interests are all factors which a therapist can't help me with, at least not if that's the only help there is. Even back when I saw one, she told me that therapy (even though should didn't really know where to start and doubted there was a program that suited me) was ging to resolve much but she was well aware there would need to be more done (including stuff like some education/learning job skills; which are pretty much out of the question financially)...

So yeah, I'm cynical to seek out help in the future

 

[tryingtoregister]

King/others.. are there other ways to seek out without doing something like seeing a therapist? Seems like most people had somewhere between useless to negative experiences..

 

[shinkansen]

I've been at therapists plenty of times in my life for all kinds of reasons, yet aside from my diagnosis none of them really solved anything for me (or with me, since you know... they're not fixing your problems, merely giving you perspective).

Interesting comments. I've seen therapist several times with mixed results. CBT was particularly useful and I can recommend this.

But things have developed for me and I appreciate talking to a professional. In November 2014, I saw a specialist who diagnosed me with ADHD, got me on medication and then referred for an autism spectrum assessment. So I've ended up with the ADHD/autism spectrum combination.

Last summer, my GP referred me to a psychologist and I've been seeing him periodically since. He's been following my assessment and diagnosis. He's going to provide some sessions to help understand and manage the ADHD/ASD stuff.

I'm in the UK, and all my assessments, diagnosis, therapy and drugs have been provided by the NHS. This is the UK's free health care system. I've been pleased with the service and the various professionals seem to be talking to each other about my situation.

Still think the talking to a professional is the medicine. Even if it's just to get stuff of your chest.

 

[cygnet1993]

I can totally understand not wanting to go. Seeing a professional kinda makes you officially "broken", doesn't it? It makes you feel like you really can't get on by yourself and you have to ask for help. Most of the time one-on-one therapy is useless, unless there's something you simply need to get off of your chest. However, if you have something medically going on (chemical imbalance, depression, ADHD, etc) on top of your ASD, a doctor can help you get on meds that will at least stabilize some of the extra issues you might be dealing with, making it a lot easier for you to help yourself.

For most social issues, it's probably best to find a local group of people with diagnosis similar to your own, or to practice online. I personally ease myself into the world of social interaction slowly, on chatrooms and so forth, before trying to escape a slump.

 

[Skeleton Canyon]

I used to see a therapist for emotional stuff for a while during adolescence but not really to big into therapy tbh.
It tends to lead to me obsessing over things. I might do it for depression at some point tho.