tryingtoregister
Well-Known Member
Long time since i posted here.. quick backdrop :
I was diagnosed with autism when i was 3 (28 now), it was changed to pdd-nos shortly thereafter when they realized I didn't have a low IQ
I spent several years in speech therapy, occupational therapy, reg therapy.. but then when i was 9 or 10 roughly it was decided I was essentially 'cured' and didn't require any more treatment
Obviously you can't be cured, as times changed and pdd-nos was replaced with spectrum.. and the fact that I always knew something was up, I kind of realized I should have gone back to therapy
But.. I can't bring myself to do it. I kind of get a sort of (possibly misplaced) pride out of handling my issues and anxieties on my own. I talk to and tell almost no-one about my diagnosis, only my mom will ever talk with me about it even then its rare (in fact the reason I joined here is I had an anxiety overload after telling a woman i was interested in about this). I think when I look back I was basically self-medicating with pot and alcohol, two things I rarely ever use anymore. I also was more used to moving then most since I did it often so combined with some light use of substance, i was usually personable enough to make new friends..
The last year or so living in another new place, but without the crutch of substance use, I have been completely socially inept. I find myself unable or unwilling to be in public places around new ppl, and the few that do know me I can't tell what they think of me.. or it might be just in my head.. I'm not sure. Just seems like I lost my ability to function in the world, I'm so much more comfortable alone. I can go days at a time without saying a word and not bat an eye.. I don't think its a problem per-se but I feel more disconnected from the world then I ever was before.
I guess what I'm asking is.. do other people get stubborn about not seeking out therapy? Can I break through this on my own.. I'm just scared what others might think about me if they found out. I have a good job, I graduated college, by all accounts I would be considered a moderate life success for my age I presume, outside of the fact i don't have a family of my own or are anywhere close to that.. Sorry this was so long
I was diagnosed with autism when i was 3 (28 now), it was changed to pdd-nos shortly thereafter when they realized I didn't have a low IQ
I spent several years in speech therapy, occupational therapy, reg therapy.. but then when i was 9 or 10 roughly it was decided I was essentially 'cured' and didn't require any more treatment
Obviously you can't be cured, as times changed and pdd-nos was replaced with spectrum.. and the fact that I always knew something was up, I kind of realized I should have gone back to therapy
But.. I can't bring myself to do it. I kind of get a sort of (possibly misplaced) pride out of handling my issues and anxieties on my own. I talk to and tell almost no-one about my diagnosis, only my mom will ever talk with me about it even then its rare (in fact the reason I joined here is I had an anxiety overload after telling a woman i was interested in about this). I think when I look back I was basically self-medicating with pot and alcohol, two things I rarely ever use anymore. I also was more used to moving then most since I did it often so combined with some light use of substance, i was usually personable enough to make new friends..
The last year or so living in another new place, but without the crutch of substance use, I have been completely socially inept. I find myself unable or unwilling to be in public places around new ppl, and the few that do know me I can't tell what they think of me.. or it might be just in my head.. I'm not sure. Just seems like I lost my ability to function in the world, I'm so much more comfortable alone. I can go days at a time without saying a word and not bat an eye.. I don't think its a problem per-se but I feel more disconnected from the world then I ever was before.
I guess what I'm asking is.. do other people get stubborn about not seeking out therapy? Can I break through this on my own.. I'm just scared what others might think about me if they found out. I have a good job, I graduated college, by all accounts I would be considered a moderate life success for my age I presume, outside of the fact i don't have a family of my own or are anywhere close to that.. Sorry this was so long